


Welcome to Milton (NEW)

by armitageadoration



Category: North and South (UK TV), North and South - Elizabeth Gaskell, North and South - Elizabeth Gaskell | UK TV
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-11
Updated: 2018-04-12
Packaged: 2019-04-21 15:00:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 57,992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14287446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armitageadoration/pseuds/armitageadoration
Summary: John and Margaret Thornton had a wonderfully happy marriage. Alas, things were not meant to be. Eighteen months after being wed, Margaret died in childbirth. John, with the help of his mother, is raising a son alone nearly four years later. Still bitter by the loss of his beloved wife, he has turned into the angry scowling man he was before. Then something happened......John is not the man he was, nor will he ever be again. Can someone help show him that things may change or will John Thornton be his own worst enemy.





	1. Chapter 1

Robert Copeland stumbled bleary eyed into the kitchen at five in the morning. He hadn’t slept well. The neighbors had company. Their grown sons were outside in the garden most of the night and had been a touch loud. Yet, Robert wouldn’t complain. The neighbors were close friends, to the point that the two boys called him Uncle Bob. Besides, one of the boys rarely got to see his brother and parents due to work commitments.

The scent of fresh brewed coffee was in the air. Frowning, there shouldn’t be a pot on yet. He had just woken up and his wife was away for the next five days. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw what was placed on top of his favored mug. It was a note from his daughter.

 

_Just me Mum and Dad. Out in the garden._

_xo,_

_A_

Walking outside with his mug, Robert went looking for his daughter. Under the cover of darkness, she sat at a table watching a storm roll in with the rising sun.

“What are you doing here at this hour Alexandria?”

“Good morning to you too. I needed to get away.” She smiled at her father.

“From what?”

“Myself?” She sighed. “I got called in last night. Nasty case. Lost the guy on the table.”

Robert understood her feelings all too well. He was a surgeon too. “How do you feel about it?”

“Patient dying? It was a Hail Mary attempt, Dad.” Alexandria shrugged her shoulders. As far as she was concerned, it wasn’t an issue.

“How did the therapy session go with the shrink Tim set you up with?”

 “It didn’t, Dad. “ Alex grimaced, the shrink had been too gentle with her. The sort of work that Alex did wasn’t for the faint of heart. “I need to beat some sense into that man.”

“The shrink or Tim?”

“Mostly Tim, possibly both.”

“I wouldn’t bother with Tim, he would probably enjoy it too much.” Robert laughed.

“Not the visual I ever needed Dad!” Alex laughed with him. Tim was her godparent’s son and a very close friend. The mere thought of him in such a situation was far too close to being incestuous for her.

“How are you, Phillipe and Xavier doing?”

“Good. Everything is up and running at full capacity. X has an excellent head for business. I can’t believe it all finally came together.”

With some of the patents that Alex held on pharmaceuticals, she had gone in business when two close friends who had bought out a small pharmaceutical company nearing bankruptcy. With a lot of time and effort they had rebranded a new line of prescription drugs to be sold across the world. It had taken a decade to get everything fully functional.

“Is he ever going to marry that beau of his?”

“Phillipe keeps threatening to make an honest man out of X but it hasn’t happened yet.” She chuckled. “Those two are just meant for each other. I swear. I am not sure who is more adorable.” Alex dropped her head down on to arms bridged across the peaks of her knees. “Bloody hell though, I’m tired.”

“I wish I could tell you something that would help, but there isn’t.”

“Perhaps I was just born in the wrong time Dad.”

“Why do you say that?”

“I would have been much better married off in one of mom’s classics than trying to forge this on my own. It’s ridiculous. I wouldn’t have to worry about…..well most anything. I want a time where there were good men all about, chivalry wasn’t dead, nor was honesty.  Life could have just fallen into place, I would be told and done.” She paused, looking up for a moment. “Speaking of, where is mum?”

“Conference.”

“Ah. It is that time of year isn’t it? All the literature professors have to sow their wild oats.”

 “I think you would have hated the lack of choice far more than you would having many choices, my girl. Besides, there are no guarantees you would have been in such a position to not have to worry.” Robert smiled gently at his daughter. She was so very much like him.

“It doesn’t feel like it Dad, but who knows. Perhaps I am just wishing for a taste of fantasy rather than the reality that is now.”

“Are you unhappy Alex?”

She looked thoughtful for a moment and shook her head. “No. I’m just worn out feeling.”

“I believe you suffer from the same ailment that most surgeons do, sweetheart.”

“Oh?”

“We don’t see patients like doctors with a practice. We are in the trenches. We patch them up and ship them out for others to take care of. You don’t find much personal attachment or warmth with people that way. I think, for you, it has been even harder.”

Nodding, Alex thought over her father’s words. “Possibly.”

“No possibly about it. You graduated at 18 from medical school. Most graduates are closer to 26 to 30. While you handle yourself better because of it, it makes attachments more difficult Alex. You don’t treat a person, you treat their bodies. Perhaps you need to get to know people a bit better? Personally or professionally it may be time for a change.”

Sighing, she nodded. “You aren’t wrong Dad. I just don’t know if I want to. I’m not exactly a people person.” She smiled wryly.

“You weren’t the extrovert your mother hoped you to be, this is true.” He chuckled. “Which is why you show up at your parent’s home in the middle of the night with no warning.”

She laughed and shook her head at her father. “I would have called first but it was in the middle of the night. The storm was getting closer Alex noticed. “We best go in, this is going to get ugly it looks like.”

Father and daughter both stood. Out of seemingly nowhere, a bolt of lightning hit the large tree close to the house.  One of the branches swung low. “DAD! LOOK OUT!” Alex pushed her father out of the way and then everything went dark.

Alexandria woke up with a fierce pain in her head. The bright light of morning only made things worse. Do I have a hangover? She tried to remember. Tentatively touching around her scalp, she came away with blood on her fingertips.

“The hell?”

“Miss? Oh Miss! Are you okay?”

Moving to sit up, she looked towards the voice. A woman with an old fashioned bonnet on her head was bending over her.

Alex nodded. “I believe so.”

“Are you Dr. Copeland’s wife Miss? Or perhaps his nurse?”

“What? No. I’m Dr. Alex Copeland.”

“Oh dear.” The large woman stood straight up and wore quite the perplexed expression on her face. “Dr. Alex Copeland from London?”

“Yes. Alexandria Copeland MD. Uhm. Who are you?” Where the hell am I? Fuck.

“Dixon ma’am.” She did a little curtsey. “Master Thornton sent me over to get the new doctor situated.”

Alex took the time to truly look around finally. Crates upon crates of medical text were stacked up along the walls. There was one on the floor with its contents spilled. Looking down, Alex noticed that she was not wearing the scrubs and trainers from the night before but a heavy dress that was reminiscent of the early 1860s.

Rising to her feet, Alex put a hand on one of the crates to steady herself. Looking out the window to the street, she shook her head. Concussion, she wondered. Perhaps an accident. Wait.

WAIT! Her mind screamed.

“Miss Dixon? Are you referring to Mr. John Thornton of Marlborough Mills?”

“Yes ma’am, I am.” Miss Dixon peered at Alex and gently pushed back the hair at her temple. “There is some blood right there, let me fetch you something to clean it up.”

“Of course Miss Dixon. Thank you that would be most kind.”

What else could I say, Alex thought. Seeing that I am either in a coma or crazy. Whichever it is I might as well play along for now. So brain, well done. You are playing games and right now that is not what I need Goddamnit. This is all my mother’s fault, damned North and South indeed. Sheesh.

Alex was sure whatever happened sitting outside with her father all she needed was time to heal. She would be back to her own…….whatever shortly.

Miss Dixon returned with a bowl of warm water and two cloths. Wetting one, she started to dab carefully at the blood on Alex’s temple. Once the blood was gone Dixon carefully dried the skin.

“If you’ll forgive me for being so bold Miss. You may not wish to get too settled in just yet. I don’t believe Master Thornton realizes that you are a lady and he may not take too kindly to you.”

Alex snorted at being called a lady. She had never ever considered herself that. Hell, most of the time she didn’t consider herself even female – just a doctor.

She stroked her fingers gingerly over her temple. There was a lump like a goose egg but the wound was merely a scratch. She wasn’t certain what caused the injury, falling books perhaps? She shook her head, trying to gather her wits about her.

 “Miss Dixon, perhaps I should go introduce myself to this Mr. Thornton of yours.”

While she was speaking, Alex heard a shrill whistle sounding loud and clear on the evening air. It was time for the workers to leave the factories.

 “The workday just ended Miss. That was the last whistle, Master Thornton should be around shortly if you would like to wait.” Dixon wrung her hands together. She was not at all certain how Thornton would take the news. If Miss Margaret was still alive, it would be different Dixon thought.

Alex picked up a carpet bag, going through the paperwork inside. The exchange between what was apparently her employers and Thornton, it did not give Alex’s gender. She smiled wryly. Smart move of them. By the looks of things, Alex had been trained in the US through her father’s practice. He was a former Army doctor. Which was partially true in her own world, Robert Copeland was an Army surgeon that had met and married a British woman. The 21st century Alexandria Copeland had gone to Oxford. Apparently an Adam Bell had recommended Alex for the position in Milton prior to his death several years ago.

Was that Margaret Hale’s godfather? Alex was fairly certain that it was. So what happened to the doctor from the book? Dr. Donaldson? Was that it? Mum? I apologize for not paying better attention to the classics in my younger years. Truly.

The sharp knock on the door pulled Alex away from her thoughts. Looking up, she went to the door.

“Good afternoon, miss. Are you perhaps Dr. Copeland’s wife?”

“You must be Mr. Thornton of Marlborough Mills?” It was hard not to scowl at the man. Wife, indeed.

“Indeed, I am.”

Alexandria tried to make herself sound pleasant. “Please, come in Mr. Thornton. I apologize for the mess. And there is no Mrs. Copeland I am acquainted with, other than my own mother. I am, however, Dr. Alex Copeland. Alex is short for Alexandria.”

“Pardon me?” Thornton thought he must have misheard her. His eyes narrowed at the woman before him.

“I am Dr. Alexandria ‘Alex’ Copeland Sir.”

“There must be a mistake……”

“No Sir. There is no mistake.” She smiled gently.

“My apologies Miss Copeland, this will not do.”

“It’s Dr. Copeland. Why is that Mr. Thornton?” She challenged.

“Nobody will wish to see a woman doctor. If you are indeed a doctor.”

“I **_am_** indeed what I say I am Sir.” She studied him with an arched brow. Tall, thickly muscular, a head full of black hair and icy blue eyes. He would be a handsome man if it weren’t for that scowl and the anger in his eyes, Alex mused. The scowl and the look seemed more permanent. She was certain it just wasn’t directed at her. Even if it was just for her, Alex didn’t really care. She wasn’t easily intimidated.

“There is a train leaving the station at a quarter past, I will get you there and we can have your items returned to you.”

“Mr. Thornton?”

“Yes?” The words were like ice.

“You brought me here. There was a need for a doctor here in Milton, correct?”

John Thornton stared at the woman but didn’t answer her question. She was tall, stately. Too tall, alas. Perhaps that is why she became a doctor? What man would want a woman that towered over him? She was just an inch shorter than his own massive height. There was something within him that was tinged with amusement. Thornton often used his height and frame to intimidate people he considered beneath his station. It was not working with her. If it was doing anything, it amused the woman. He scowled once more.

“I will assume with you not answering that the answer is indeed a yes there is a need for a doctor here in Milton. As I am already here, why don’t you permit me to try? If it doesn’t work out, then no harm is done and you may find a replacement with someone already employed here. This way you are not without a doctor on hand.”

Thornton’s expression did not change. She had the same lofty way of speaking that Margaret once had. _Margaret!_ He felt the pain of losing her still. It had been over three years since she passed in childbirth, almost four. Thankfully, his mother was able to help with his young son.

“Very well. I suppose there is no choice in the matter. Someone needs to be here to take care of the workers and their families, at least until I can find a replacement for you. The town of Milton needs a real doctor.”

“Oh believe me Mr. Thornton, I am quite real and quite good.” Challenge accepted, she thought.

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

“Well, it’s all you this time Lexie-girl.” She sighed. The basic layout of the clinic was perfect. Trying to figure out living quarters, storage, and a set up to produce her own medicines was already a pain in her ass. She felt like she had already spent a small fortune on turning this into a productive outfit.

Having tried different methods of waking herself from this crazy dream, it seemed to be that she was stuck here no matter what until her body woke up. Perhaps she would learn a thing or two. Or maybe when she woke up she would get to tell her mother that reading the classics at a young age indeed paid off.

She had glassware by the dozens brought to the small clinic. It would be used for experimenting with medicines she knew how to make and trying those she didn’t. The draper’s shop was Alexandria’s least favorite of all that she was doing.  The seamstresses didn’t have any idea how to outfit Alex. The popular colors looked awful on her fair skin with her dark hair. Then there was the corsets. Who the hell thought of these stupid things? But finally, she had enough clothing and undergarments ordered to last for a long while.

All in all, it only took 36 hours to have everything set up as best she could. That included her own needs as woman in Victorian England.

Apparently, when the long time town doctor passed away, the building and its contents were to be kept for the next physician as per Dr. Donaldson’s will. John Thornton had been the one to find replacements, when necessary. It certainly made things easier. There was a small flat within the building that was for the physician to use. The ten bed ward was remarkably well done so were the four private rooms.

Yet, Alex was almost bored now that everything was fixed up or at least ordered, she did splurge and buy herself a treat. While pianos were a popular item to have in the homes, it was too large of an instrument to house in the clinic. Plus, she didn’t play that well. However, Alexandria Copeland was an accomplished cello player. She had found one that she liked and used it to idle away a few hours every day.

With her running around town as she was, she happened to spot John Thornton on more than a few occasions. Alex knew that he saw her as their gazes met on a couple of occasions. Thornton turned away quickly each time with his customary scowl.

The man either needs to get laid or loosen his cravat she thought. Alex was fairly certain that he needed both.

Nobody had braved the opening of the clinic yet, even though it was written up in the local newspaper. She figured it would take time. Alexandria knew that she was the first female doctor that Milton had ever seen. If she remembered correctly, there wouldn’t be an English female doctor until 1865. That was still a couple of years away. The United States produced its first female doctor in 1849, so with that bit of detail, she was able to pull off being a doctor.

It mattered not that the real Alexandria Copeland had graduated from Oxford a decade ago at the age of 18. She was a qualified trauma surgeon and reconstructive surgeon. Which did not translate perfectly to Victorian era England.

Alexandria was working out a way to make diethyl ether. It wasn’t incredibly difficult of a product to make but she knew that it was extremely flammable. Could the components be mixed together only in a case of emergency? She didn’t know, but she would find out. The thought of preforming surgery in these conditions made her stomach clench, but she wanted to be prepared.

The last whistle for the factories just blew. There would be a flurry of people trying to get away from their places of employment for a few hours before they had to be back prior to the sun being up.

The knock on the door was a surprise to her, to say the least. Upon opening the door, a burly man in his mid-forties stood before her.

“May I help you?” She smiled.

“You the doc tha’ they got werkin’ here?”

“I am.”

“Can you spare a few words?”

“Of course, please come in.” She stepped aside to permit the man in. “How might I be of service Sir?”

“Name’s Nicholas Higgins. I’m one of tha foremen at Marlborough Mills. The hands are afraid to come here an’ some of them need ta’ real bad.”

“Oh? They don’t trust a woman doctor?”

Higgins gave a wry smile and shook his head. “Naw Doc. They lack the coin to come.”

“Oh. I see. Mr. Higgins, if someone cannot pay I am not going to deny anyone medical attention. I do not care how rich or poor they are. If they need help, I am here to give it.”

Higgins eyed Alexandria thoughtfully. “Nobody is gonna want charity. That is not our way.”

“I never said it was Sir. Would you like some tea? Please have a seat and we can discuss this further.”

“A fine lady such as yerself don’t need to be fixing no tea for me.”

“Believe me. I am not nearly as fine or refined as you may believe.” The kettle was already hot, so Alex poured Higgins a cup, serving him first. She left the milk and sugar on the table for him to decide how much he wished. She sat down across from him. “It’s not charity when something is traded in return. If someone needs help and can’t afford it Mr. Higgins, I would gladly have someone or someone’s child come in for an hour to help me roll bandages, or pick up packages that may be too heavy for me to carry. There are many things that can be worked out if need be.”

Taking a sip of the hot tea from the mug, Higgins assessed Alex shrewdly. “That sounds good Doc. Ol’ bartering system works well. Are you alright here by yer lonesome? Do you need some of the men to check in on ya?”

“I think I am fine Mr. Higgins. I am very good at taking care of myself.”

“Thank ya for the tea Doc. I won’t bother you any longer.” Higgins stood.

“Mr Higgins? Could I get you to do me a small favor?”

“Yes ma’am. If I am able ta.”

“Is there a chance that you would know some ladies that do well with mending and needlepoint, I have a use for them. They do not need to be here, just so that I may send the ladies items as needed.  I’m also in need of a young lady as an assistant. Things get messy in here at times and I would need her help both with patients and chores around the clinic. I will pay a good wage for eight hours a day worth of work. That would be six days a week and I will pay even higher if I am in need of her longer hours. The young lady will be trained as a nurse, given fresh uniforms daily, and anything else that she might require while working with me.”

“I know several that are fine seamstresses and there is a neighbor of mine that might work as an assistant for ya. I will send them yer way ta’morrow.”

“Wonderful!” Alex smiled happily. “You are very kind Mr. Higgins. It is appreciated.”

He tipped his cap at her while leaving. “Good night Doc.”

Higgins mused. He liked the lady doctor. He had a feeling that she might be even better than old Doc Donaldson. The old Doc was a good man, but aged and set in his ways. If she was true to her word, and Higgins was very certain she would be, the workers would take care with her. He would tell the men himself if they dared tried to be nasty to her they would have to deal with him.

Given the amount of clout that Higgins had with being Thornton’s foreman AND still part of the community he had always been a part of, nobody in their right mind would treat the lady doctor badly.

It was bright and early that the women from the Princeton district showed up, all five of them. Happy with the women that Nicholas Higgins selected, Alexandria served tea and cakes while talking to each of them.

The youngest of the women, who was 21 was hired immediately to become Alexandria’s assistant. Annabelle was a very bright young lady but poor.  She would be starting on the following day. If it had been in another time or place, Alex could have seen the young woman being a doctor. If not a MD, a PhD working to find cures or better medications to treat diseases in the 21st century.

The other four women were older by quite a bit. Three of the four were widows just trying to survive. The one was married but her children were grown and on their own, as much as they could be at least. Each one of the women did beautiful needle work. Most of it was the likes that Alex had never seen.

She hired them for all sorts of services from laundry, mending, working on some of the fancier dresses that Alex purchased, to making patient gowns and linens for the clinic. Alex was paying far above a fair wage for the work she wanted done. As a matter of fact, she paid more than most mill work did. The women, save for Annabelle, could work from home or in the warmed out building behind the clinic. It was up to them.  

For their loyalty and their hard work, the women, their spouses and their unmarried children would receive services at the clinic free of charge. Insurance or socialized medicine was part of the far off future. Yet, as far as Alex was concerned, they should be given that as part of their working for her. 

The 6 of them sat at the small dining room table in the physician quarters of the clinic. There they began to divvy up the work that needed done by who could do what best. The women took measurements of the beds for the linens. The four women that would be working as seamstresses of sorts told Alex about a friend of theirs that made beautiful quilts that would be warm enough for winter but not so heavy that the patients wouldn’t be able to adjust beneath them. Unfortunately, due to a mill accident several months ago, she was home bound and could not come to the clinic for Alex to meet.

“Would you ladies take me to meet her perhaps?”

They refused at first. It was not a place for a lady like her to go to.

“Ladies, please. I am not fragile by any stretch of the imagination. If you go there then so can I.”

“Doctor Alex, it is unseemly for a lady like you to be there.”

“That isn’t a concern. I am no lady, but a doctor. Please permit me to travel with you.”

“But Doctor Alex, it’s a dirty place. The likes of you have never seen!”

“Thank you for trying to protect me, but it is unnecessary. I have worked in the worst parts of London for years. Please allow me to meet her.”

When the women finally relented, Alex sent a list of all the items she would need with Annabelle to the draper’s shop. Most of the items needed to be of clothing quality cloth to help with the comfort of the people she would be treating. She would be by to pay the clerk when she was finished in the Princeton district.

She had brought her bag with her to see if there was anything she could do to help with the homebound quilt maker. Because the injuries had occurred months ago, she doubted there was much she could do.

As it turns out, the injury had been a horrible burn to the lower body and back. Because of the lack of knowledge in treating burns in this time period the skin tightened too much for the woman to move a great deal without severe pain. There was a non-surgical procedure for breaking up the heavily scarred body parts that Alex knew well. It was almost a massage technique. Alex would come by a couple of times a week to help the woman. She was also hired to start making blankets for the ward.

One of the women that she had come into the Princeton district with escorted her back out. Alex tried to explain there was no need, but the woman insisted.

“Doctor Alex, we don’t want anythin’ happenin’ to you.”

“Thank you Sarah, it is appreciated.”

“I’m sorry you had to come down here and see all this ugliness.”

“I have seen much worse. I swear to you.” Unable to explain what Doctors without Borders was and sound sane, Alexandria didn’t go into detail.

“If it’s worse than this squalor, I would hate to see it.”

“Trust me, it is pretty awful.”

“Thank you.”

“For?”

“Helpin’ us out an’ all. The women don’t get paid much at the mills, compared to the men. Even when we do the same work.”

“I figured. That’s one of the reasons I hired only women and am trying to pay you each a good wage.”

“It means so much. Thank ya pretty doctor.”

Alex’s cheeks turned pink and she bent to hug Sarah. “I told Mr. Higgins this and I will tell you. If someone needs medical attention, come and get me or bring them in. If they cannot pay, we can work something out. Even if it is just sending their child over for an hour and having them help me and Annabelle roll bandages.

Sarah was surprised by the hug and returned it with the same warmth that Alex gave. “Yer a godsend Dr. Alex.”

While she walked to the draper’s shop, Alex was trying to figure out other ways she could possibly help the people she had met. Education? Doubtful, it would be difficult working around her own schedule let alone theirs. Food? No. That would be impossible. Damnit I need Google here and how Alex mused as she walked into the draper’s shop to pay her tab.

With a purse that was quite a bit lighter, Alexandria started heading back to the clinic. She was lost in thought when she ran into John Thornton, almost literally.

“Good afternoon Mr. Thornton. My apologies, I was lost in thought.”

“ _Doctor_ Copeland.” He touched the brim of his hat.

“Are you threatened by me Mr. Thornton?”

Eyes narrowing, Thornton had no idea what she was talking about. “Excuse me?”

“It is quite apparent that you dislike even a hello on the streets from me. So, seeing how we have spent time in each other’s company for all of ten minutes, I am wondering if you feel threatened by me. It was either that or you find something else wrong with me.”

“I have no idea what you are speaking of. Excuse me, I have business to take care of.”

Obstinate woman, don’t know her and prefer not to know her, thought Thornton. The scowl returned as he thought of Alexandria Copeland. She has been here less than a week and he was already annoyed by her presence. Somewhere in his mind, he knew why he was annoyed with her. The attraction he felt to Alex was bothering him. Thornton felt that he shouldn’t be attracted to any other woman except Margaret. To have that attraction was the same as if he were committing adultery. It didn’t matter that Margaret had died nearly four years earlier.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Chuckling softly, Alex was amused by how her brain had made everything come together in this bizarre dream. She automatically assumed she was dreaming, what else could it be? There was plenty of money, clothing, and virtually anything else she needed for herself, at least from what was available at the time.

Given the period in time, alas, antibiotics weren’t going to be around for another 60 years or more. The same went for antibacterial soaps. Alexandria was able to make both without really a problem. Thank god she had some knowledge in the realm of pharmaceuticals. Other remedies that she knew worked were mixed together from much of the items the previous physician had on hand.  Splints, plaster of Paris, and other items were quickly added to the stores of things she may need. Notes were jotted messily on pieces of paper. So this writing with a quill was annoying. Alex frowned. She would kill for a good Mont Blanc.

After everything was finished, including the hiring of help, it would take another day for someone to seek out Alex’s help. Her first patient happened to be brought in by Mrs. Hannah Thornton.

After introductions were made, Alex enquired what the problem was.

“Miss Copeland, this is my grandson John Thornton Jr. We tend to call him Johnny.”

“It’s _Doctor_ Copeland, Mrs. Thornton. Just because I am not male does not mean I am any less of a physician.” The words were mild but Alex looked directly into the older woman’s eyes when speaking them. She could easily tell that John and Hannah Thornton were related.

 “How is his stool?” Alex gently inquired. She was pretty certain she knew what was wrong.

“Liquid.”

“Vomiting? Itchy areas of his skin?”

“Yes to both.”

“Watch my finger, ok Johnny?” She smiled wide at the little boy.

Alex checked out his eyes by making him look left, right, up and down.  She checked the strength and reflexes of the boy. She let Johnny play with the items she used after she was finished. He was fascinated by the stethoscope and listened to both Alex’s and his own heartbeat.

It seemed to Hannah Thornton like Alexandria was playing with the boy instead of trying to figure out what was wrong with him. The boy was failing to thrive. He was small for his age. The mucus membranes of the nose were inflamed as were the mouth and throat. He also had a rash around his mouth.

 “You have a very handsome grandson Mrs. Thornton.” Alex smiled. “What does his diet consist of?”

“Milk, meat, fruits and vegetables. Bread soaked in milk. The normal foods you give a child.”

“This may sound strange, but I am positive it will work. Remove all dairy from his diet. No milk, butter, anything of the like. Nothing made with milk or butter either, such as a pastry or pudding. You need to keep him out of anything that comes from a nipple, teat or an udder.”

“DR. COPELAND!” Mrs. Thornton didn’t appreciate the terminology.

“My apologies ma’am.” Christ, she thought. If these people heard what I say in the operating theater they would hang me from a tree.

“I will give you a tincture to give Johnny with every meal as well. Just use it until the bottle runs out. That should help ease some of his discomfort.”

“What is wrong with him?”

Alex actually had to think for a quick half second. When were allergies discovered? Shit. She had no idea. “Dairy products make him ill.” Simple works best, she hoped. “If you would please let his mother know and anyone that may give Johnny food or treats? Having everyone working together will help him feel better faster.”

“His mother died in childbirth.”

“I am truly sorry to hear that Mrs. Thornton.”

She gave the boy back to his grandmother and placed the tincture in a small brown bottle with a cork stopper. Alexandria laughed when the boy tried to go back to her.

“My son will be along later with your payment Doctor.”

Alex shook her head. “No need Mrs. Thornton. Your son has been kind enough to bring me here and let me stay.” Why did I say that? Watch your mouth Lexie-girl, she thought.

As the word of a new doctor traveled around the town of Milton, Alexandria became more and more busy. She had done everything from help with a nasty diaper rash to setting and casting broken bones. Stitching deep cuts seemed to be the bread and butter of her daily work. The hands, as they were called in Milton, seemed to have a lot of injuries at the mills. She had gotten to the point of tracking the number of injuries and what sort came from each of the different mils.

Even without the modern tools she normally had at her disposal, everything was fairly easy thus far. The upper classes refused to set foot in the small clinic, the workers on the other hand were grateful.

There was something about the working class that Alex appreciated. Perhaps, because while her parents were well educated, they still came from a working class themselves. Pride in knowledge and a job well done was instilled in Alex since birth. Because many of the patients she saw could not pay for the services, the workers in turn took care of her like she was one of their own. Alex was invited for simple Sunday dinners after church. They made sure she was escorted back to the clinic if she was out at night or that she had help with packages while shopping. The women she had hired were working out well. Annabelle, who was her assistant, was a quick learner. While she was hoping that this dream would end soon, Dr. Alex Copeland was content in her dream life.

It was about ten days after seeing Mrs. Thornton when there was a rapping on the clinic door. Alexandria was relaxing by playing with the cello she had purchased. The lack of electronics made her find new ways to let the stress of the day bleed off. She had closed down for the day but the townspeople knew she was there if they needed anything.

Upon opening the door, she was surprised to see John Thornton Sr. “Mr. Thornton? Is everything alright?”

“Yes. I would like to speak to you, if I may?”

“Of course, come in. What may I do for you?” Alex offered Thornton a seat after taking his hat and gloves.

“I wanted to thank you Doctor.”

“For?”

“My son. He is doing much better.”

“I am very pleased to hear that Mr. Thornton.”

“If you would like to stay in Milton, you are most welcome to.”

“Even if I wasn’t welcomed by you Mr. Thornton. I was planning on staying. I believe your workers and the workers at the other mills are better for my being here.” Alex saw his jaw tightened and his lips thinned. He wasn’t used to being talked to as such by a woman. Tough, she thought and smiled at the man. “Mr. Thornton? Do you like what you do?”

“I do not understand.”

“Do you like being the Master of Marlborough Mills?”

“It is what I do.”

“I believe you are misunderstanding me. Do you enjoy it? Do you take pride in the work you do? Do you not treat your workers better than any other cotton mill in the area?”

He still looked somewhat puzzled but finally nodded. “Yes, I do.”

“I feel the same way about my work. I enjoy it. I want to help others.  Your say has no matter in what I do. Just as my say means nothing in the cotton business.”

“I see.” Thornton stood, irritated with her once again. “We are having a dinner for some of the business people in town. You are, of course, invited.” He handed her a beautiful handwritten invitation. It wasn’t as fancy as the Masters dinner he gave every year. Due to his mother and the help the lady doctor gave his son, John Thornton felt obligated to invite the woman.

“Thank you Mr. Thornton.”

“The music when I knocked on the door, was that you?”

“Of course. I am here alone.

“It was lovely.”

Without another word, he turned and walked out. It left Alex shaking her head at the abrupt behavior of the man. Looking at the invitation, she was amused. The dinner was almost a month away.

Alexandria was pretty certain that she was meant to bring a family member as her chaperone, but there wasn’t one to bring. Going alone was probably not the best form. It was, however, the best she could do.

The dress was navy and silver. It went beautifully with her jet black hair and pale silvery grey eyes. Thankfully, Annabelle worked well with her hair and helping her into the dress. Alex wore no jewelry save for a pair of small silver hoop earrings. The matching dancing slippers were hidden by the heavy silk of the dress. Alex was ready to kill for her Nikes already.

Berating herself silently for feeling out of sorts, Dr. Alexandria Copeland stepped out of the carriage before the large home next to the mill. One of the hired footmen escorted her up the stairs and into the fine home.

John Thornton saw Alex enter and drew a sharp breath. Physically, Alex and Margaret looked absolutely nothing alike. Alex was at least a head and a half taller than Margaret had been. Alex’s eyes were bright and sparkling silver grey where Margaret’s had been a warm green and gold. Yet, their bearing was similar. Alexandria had the same stately aloofness that Margaret did.

She appeared not to notice those staring at her. Truthfully, she didn’t notice anyone save for Thornton. Alex watched his expression turn from welcoming to the now familiar scowl. In many ways, the scowl made her want to laugh. She was certain that the scowl was the only expression he had for her.

Most of the guests in the Thornton home turned and stared just as Thornton himself did. Because these were not the people that made up the patient list that Alex had currently, many had no idea who she was. Although he loathed to do it, Thornton made it a point to introduce her to the other business owners. These owners did not run their businesses, they had others to do that for them. So, they had not met Alexandria.

Most of the servants either had met Alex or at least knew who she was by sight. The touch of preferential treatment given to her was not unnoticed, especially by the Thorntons.

Hannah Thornton was mildly impressed with the young woman. She had a no nonsense air to her. Being in mixed company that Alexandria did not know must be uncomfortable, especially without a family member with her. Yet, the doctor appeared perfectly at ease. Hannah Thornton made a point to introduce Alex to the women that had accompanied their husbands to the dinner.

“Dr. Copeland, please allow me to introduce you to Mrs. Slickson.”

“A pleasure to meet you ma’am.”

“Likewise my dear. Are you really a doctor?”

“If you both would excuse me for a moment.” Mrs. Thornton needed to see to the dinner.  Both Alexandria and Mrs. Slickson nodded as their hostess moved away.

Alex smiled. “Yes, I am.”

“Your husband doesn’t mind?”

“I do not have a husband.”

“Oh! You are so young to be a widow. No wonder you must work, you poor dear.” Mrs. Slickson patted Alex’s arm.

“No ma’am. I am not a widow. I have never been married.”

“Oh dear girl, I am sorry to hear such a thing. A pretty young lady like yourself should have a husband and not have to work like you do! What does your father do that he couldn’t make a match for you?”

Temper must be contained. Temper must be contained repeat. “Alas, my parents are no longer with me. But my father, he was a doctor as well. My mother was a school teacher.” Sort of the truth? Mostly? Fuck it, thought Alex. No my parents aren’t here in this crazy dream. My mother is a tenured professor and my father is a surgeon.

When the guests were called to dinner, Alex breathed a sigh of relief. She knew better than to try and ‘people’.

The men were, of course, talking business. The women kept themselves busy with idle chit-chat. Alex said very little in the scope of things. It was more interesting to her to hear of the time that her mind had dreamed up. Although, she was starting to worry. Shouldn’t she have awoken by now? Was she in a coma? Was this like that movie she had watched recently where people were forgetting the girl and her doctor had become part of her dreamland? Hells bells. What was that movie’s name anyway? Sleep or sleepy something.

Startled out of her own thoughts, Alex looked up when someone said her name. She wasn’t even sure who had spoken. “My apologies, I was lost in thought.”

“I asked if you are enjoying Milton, Dr. Copeland.”

“Again, my apologies Mr. Thornton. I am enjoying Milton quite a bit. It is very different than London. I believe that to be a good thing. The citizens of Milton are quite refreshing.”

Thornton turned to another guest and asked a similar question. Ah mere politeness, how I still am not fond of thee, thought Alex. She closed her eyes briefly as to not roll them. Idle chit chat such as this was not anywhere near her forte. The men were getting more adamant on a topic of economics with each other.  

Biting her tongue, Alex tried to keep silent. Trickle-down economics was not a favorite topic of conversation for her. As a matter of fact, she left business to her two partners. She much preferred the lab or the hospital.

She had no idea that the similar thought process had been around so long. Or maybe it was all a part of this ridiculous dream? Possibly, since she did remember that the original book was in part a social commentary. Feeling a bit daring, she decided to speak.

“Gentlemen? I hate to tell you but prosperity doesn’t trickle down, and nor does civic prosperity. Which is actually what you are complaining about. You consider your workers a drain on society but at the same time you still need them to perform a task that you are unwilling or unable to do yourself. When your hands earn enough to live on, they are far more likely to be contributors to civic prosperity here in Milton. Now remember please this is a town each one of you has declared to love.”

One of the men began to interrupt her, but Alex was having none of that.

“Pardon me, I have not finished Sir. As it is, families who need only one or two jobs to make their ends meet, gives way so that they can be available to help their children with common day to day problems and keep them out of trouble. With this you will reap the rewards of having workers that are smarter, better educated AND healthy. This means these very same people can look out for you and your neighbors, volunteer, and contribute. This is not just in your schools and churches but in the community as a whole. Prosperity is not about money and that is what you fail to realize. Living in a community of people who are paid enough to contribute to the community in which each of us lives, rather than require its help, is far more important than your bank account. Now, I am not saying that business doesn’t needs a profit, because it does. You have to make money to be able to keep up with the times and machinery of course. But a prosperous community will always fair better than one in poverty.” Her voice was warm and low. There was a certain rasp to it that made it tangible like velvet. It was wholly seductive and it made the dinner party uncomfortable with her entirely and not just the words. This was a woman of substance, very much like a man. Yet, there was nothing manly about her.

Thornton was just about to challenge what Alexandria had just said when there was a shriek from another room. A maid came running in something was wrong with Thornton’s son. John and Hannah both took off fast behind the maid. Without hesitation or thinking, Alex followed the trio up to the family quarters.

John’s son, was a pale bluish color. Alex went into physician mode without thinking. The boy’s pulse was thready and weak. The rash around his mouth looked vibrant, fresh even.

“Thornton hold that candle there.”  Alex ordered.

Unsure of why he complied with a stranger ordering him about in his own home, John Thornton did exactly as was commanded of him.

Tongue swollen. Airway obstructed. Shit. Possible anaphylactic shock.

“I need a sharp knife and a tube. Uh. Something cylindrical small hollow.”

“Doctor will a pipe stem work?”

“Yes.” She didn’t know who asked and didn’t care. Her attention was on the little boy.

Delicate fingertips found the indentation between the Adam's apple and the cricoid cartilage on little Johnny’s throat. With a stroke of practiced ease she made a cut, separating the cartilage so that air could flow. The tip of her pinky fingernail slid into the incision while she waited for the pipe. In seconds, the pipe stem was placed in the incision. Alexandria puffed air into the pipe stem twice.

Sitting back she nodded. He was breathing and color was coming back to the boy’s skin. “We need to get him to the clinic. I can better treat him there.”

Thornton didn’t say a word, but picked his son up and started down the stairs.  In the carriage, he was stock still. Alex was kneeling at Thornton’s feet within the cab, unaware of how intimate and improper it seemed to the worried father. She was doing all she could for the time being making sure the little boy stayed breathing.  Even if she had known that her behavior was improper, Alex wouldn’t have cared one iota. Social niceties did not apply in medicine as far as she was concerned.

“Keep him still. He is starting to come around and we don’t need that quite yet.”

They brought the boy in and Alex went to work immediately. “Light some candles please. I am going to need to see.”

She gave the child a very small bit of laudanum to make sure he stayed calm and asleep. Cleaning the wound she made with the knife, she put in a new tube that was clean. There wasn’t a way to keep things as near to sterile as she was used to, but Alex did her best.  

Nothing in her vast knowledge told her about how to make antihistamines and she knew that they had not been invented yet. There were natural remedies but with the boy back to being unconscious she didn’t want to try any edible types.

Finally, Alexandria Copeland sat back. She looked across the bed to a very worried John Thornton.

“He should be ok in about 12 hours Mr. Thornton.”

“Dr. Copeland, what happened to my son?”

“He had a reaction to dairy products would be my best guess. Someone maybe gave him some milk or a bite of cheese, I’m not sure exactly what was given to him. We caught it in time and he should be right as rain once more. The more he is exposed to dairy, the worse his reactions will get Mr. Thornton.”

Thornton nodded once. “I’m staying here with him.” He challenged her to say no.

“Of course. You will have no argument from me. If you would excuse me for a few moments. I need to change and do some prep work to make sure your son will rest well. If you need me, just call out. I’m not far away.”

Thornton nodded once again, staring at his son.

Alex rested her hand on his shoulder when walking past, giving it a squeeze and a pat. She thought nothing of it. The touch went against the customs of the time alas, and Thornton flinched with the touch. Not because he felt it to be inappropriate but because it was something Margaret would have done as well.

Having changed out of the dancing gown and slippers, Alex returned to where Thornton and his son were. She set up an IV for the little boy. Did they even have IV lines this long ago? She had no idea. A makeshift one was easy enough to do. From there Alex went about preforming the menial tasks that needed done.

“May I get you some tea Mr. Thornton? Or perhaps something stronger?”

“You partake?” He was surprised, wine was suitable for a young lady but anything stronger was not in Thornton’s way of thinking.

Alex was fairly certain that John Thornton wouldn’t enjoy some of the tales from her younger years drinking, so she shook her head. “It has medicinal purposes as well, Sir. This does qualify as medicinal.”

“Thank you, but no. Dr. Copeland?”

“Please, call me Alex. Each time I hear Dr. Copeland, I look for my father.” Thornton’s ears burned red and Alex realized her faux pas. “My apologies. I stayed too long in the States. It is more relaxed there.”

“John? Dr. Copeland?” A voice called out from the foyer of the clinic.

Rising, Alex went to see who it was. “Mrs. Thornton, your son and grandson are back in a patient room. Would you like to come back?”

“Thank you Doctor.”

Alex took Hannah Thornton’s wrap and hung it up. She let the family have time alone.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

“How is Johnny doing?” Hannah Thornton asked her son.

“The doctor said he will be better in about 12 hours. She thinks it is the milk again.”

“Anna admitted to giving him some warm milk to help settle Johnny down.”

Thornton looked up sharply at his mother. The maid did this? He shook his head. “You have released her from her duties Mother?”

“I will when I return. What else is bothering you, John?”

“ELSE? My son could have died! Your grandson almost DIED.”

“But he didn’t.”

Thornton looked away, scowling.

“It’s that doctor.” Hannah did not ask a question.

“What does the doctor have to do with anything?”

“She reminds you of Margaret. “ Hannah Thornton was an observant woman. She knew if the lady doctor reminded her of Margaret, it would be the same with John.

He didn’t respond.

“John, now is not the time to be thinking about another woman. You still haven’t accepted that Margaret is gone. Trying to replace her with the doctor would not be fair to her or to you.”

“That is enough Mother.” John snapped. Rarely did he speak to his mother in such a way.

Alexandria tapped on the doorframe. Seeing her standing there shut down the conversation between mother and son. Bringing in a tray with tea and biscuits, she put it to the side. “Please help yourselves. I am not the best hostess I’m afraid, but I need to check Johnny out again.”

Hannah fixed the tea for herself and John while Alex worked. The swelling was gone, with that Alex breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m going to seal the wound now that the swelling has gone down. He will wake up in a few hours.” Getting a kit that she had made for such purposes, Alex washed up.  Sitting on the edge of the boy’s bed, she watched and listened to his breathing.

“His throat will be very sore and he very likely have some pain from the cut. If I am not in the room when he awakens, please call out for me. We need to keep him still and quiet for a while yet.”

Cleaning up, Alex excused herself once again.  She was followed a few moments later by Mrs. Thornton.

“Doctor, thank you for taking such good care of my grandson.”

“No thanks is needed Mrs. Thornton. This is not just my profession but my passion as well. I would gladly do it 100 times over if need be.”

“Hopefully this shall be the last time we will need your services. John wishes to stay with his son, I need to return to our home to make sure everything has been brought back to order.”

“It is not a problem ma’am. He may stay as long as he wishes.”

“Thank you Doctor.”

Alex nodded and handed the elder woman her wrap, standing silently as the woman returned to her carriage to be brought back to the mill and home.

Walking back in to the room, she found John Thornton asleep. Taking two blankets, Alex draped one over his front and the other across his shoulders, she let him rest. Sleepless nights were common for Alex, and she was fine with watching over father and son.

It was about six in the morning when the little boy started to stir. Alex tapped his nose gently and got a smile out of the boy. Pointing to where his father napped, she put a finger to her lips. When Johnny nodded, she whispered to him to stay very quiet but to shake his head for yes and no.

Alex was quiet and careful. The little lad felt better, thankfully. His throat was very sore so she gave him a very small amount of the laudanum to ease the soreness. Not wanting him to get restless, she asked if he would like to hear a story. When Johnny nodded yes, Alex sat on the edge of the bed and started to tell him a story.

“T’was a dark and stormy night and all the bunnies in BunBunLand were tucked into their little beds. Bunnies big and small lay dreaming of carrots and candy whilst they slept.” She made the sounds of wind and rain while wiggling her fingers to make it more real and fun for Johnny.  The little boy climbed over her knee and sat on Alex’s lap. He was enjoying her story.

She moved him gently in time with the story, letting him have a little bit of interaction with her. “But one little bunny was sitting under the tree, watching the wind and the rain. Do you know why that little bunny was out in the rain?” Alex smiled when Johnny shook his head. “Because he had heard that the first star after a storm to be seen would grant him the wish of all wishes. So the little bunny sat. Looking up to the sky for the rain to stop and the stars to appear. All of a sudden, old hoot owl called out to the little bunny.”

“Whooooooooo are you little BunBun from BunBunLand to sit waiting in the rain? I am the one that will get the first and best wish old hoot owl! The little bunny replied and the owl started to laugh at the little Bun and said that is not trooooooooooo! But the little Bun knew he was right and stood proud after being laughed at. He waited and waited until finally the skies started to clear. While he was watching, the bestest and brightest star shined in the dark sky. Right there he made his wish. And do you know what the wish was?” Johnny shook his head. “He asked for…..”

Alex looked up and saw that John Thornton was now awake and was watching both her and his son silently. Tapping Johnny’s arm to get his attention, she pointed to his father. The little boy smiled happily, seeing his father so close. He scurried across the bed and to the elder John Thornton.

Standing up, Alex left the room to give father and son some private time. It was only about twenty minutes later when the elder Thornton left the room.

“Is everything alright Mr. Thornton?”

“He started to drift off to sleep again.”

“He will do that for a couple of days. Let him rest, it is good for him.”

“Thank you Dr. Copeland.”

“For?”

Thornton sighed. “Everything. My son doesn’t take to women very well, other than my mother. I am to blame for that, I’m sure.”

“Come, sit. Let me make you something to eat and some tea.”

“You don’t need to.”

“I know. But I shall. Besides I need to break my own fast.”

Tea and porridge were served, nothing extravagant but they both tucked into the food after the long night. Where they were seated, it was easy to keep an eye on the young patient and Alex did so with a sharp eye.

“So why do you think your son isn’t fond of women and that it is your fault Mr. Thornton?”

“Because I am not comfortable around them myself.” He looked down at the now empty bowl before him. “I miss my wife.”

Alexandria looked thoughtful. “My father once told me I treated the body and not the person. I only half believed him when he said that, but now I see that is true. I wish I could help you but I have learned not to share my thoughts on such subjects.”

“I would like to hear your thoughts doctor, if I may?”

Unconsciously, Alex chewed on the corner of her lower lip. She was trying to formulate a way of politely sharing what was in her thoughts. “Johnny is always going to look to you for how to act. He will watch and emulate you. You are his model in life. If you are uncomfortable around women, then he will grow to be so as well. Women are no different than men, I assure you. We seem different only because we have been treated that way. ”

Picking up the odds and sods basket by the desk, Alex removed cotton, white cloth, and some string out of it. Picking up needle and thread, she went to work. It appeared that she needed to keep her hands busy while she and Thornton spoke about a difficult subject.

“What do you mean?”

“You find me quite odd for a woman do you not Mr. Thornton?”

His ears flushed red with embarrassment. “Yes. I do find you quite odd. It’s not in a bad way. You are just different. Very different.”

“I don’t take it as an insult Mr. Thornton, I assure you. I am sure you find me odd for a variety of reasons.” The material started to take shape in her hands.

When Thornton flushed further, Alex was fairly certain that even the tips of his toes were pink. “It’s fine Mr. Thornton. I understand. None of these differences are real, alas. They are merely made up of rules that society has placed upon us.”

“How do you know this?”

“Society changes with time. What we knew to be correct a hundred years ago is not the same as today. What we know today will be different in a hundred years.”

“You seem sure.”

“That is because I am very sure. We only need to look back on history to know.”

“Why haven’t you married Dr. Copeland?” The words were out of his mouth before John realized it.

“Quite a personal question Mr. Thornton.” Alexandria didn’t look up.

“I apol – “

“No, please don’t apologize. You may ask me virtually anything you wish. I always have the right not to answer. It’s quite simple really, I make a far better surgeon than I do companion for any man.”

“Still, it was quite rude of me. I don’t know you well enough to even speak of such. I still feel that you would make a man a good wife. I suspect an excellent mother to children as well. I saw how you were with my son.”

“I beg to differ on the wife part.” Alex chuckled softly. There was something there. A tug of a memory that her mind chased but it was gone before Alexandria understood fully. Dear god, she mused, do not make this because of a traumatic brain injury. Please. Great. I am as agnostic as they come now I am praying? She sighed softly with a shake of her head.

“What if you became a nurse for a well-established doctor?”

“Mr. Thornton? Would you wish to become a mill hand instead of a mill master?”

“No, I suppose that wouldn’t work for me. I see your point.”

Alex stood once again, she wanted a closer look at the sleeping lad. The bit of cloth and cotton had been transformed into a simple stuffed bunny. Laying the toy next to the child, she checked on him. Alex was pleased that little Johnny Thornton was sleeping soundly.

Yet, Alex wanted to go home. Why was this taking so long? She turned, not realizing John Thornton was right behind her.

Alexandria would have fallen backwards if it wasn’t for Thornton catching her and holding tight. Given their nearness in height, they looked each other straight in the eye.

John knew that she was pretty, even a blind man could see that. There was something different about Alexandria Copeland even apart from her directness and beauty. What it was, John Thornton didn’t know. Something inside him wanted to find out what it was.

God! How he wished to kiss her. Right here, right now his heart ached to touch the strange woman more intimately than was appropriate.

“My apologies!” Alex swallowed hard. Her body was all of a sudden hypersensitive beneath his grip. “Thank you for catching me. Are you alright?”

“Yes.” The word sounded gruff to Thornton’s own ears. The lady doctor was truly more beautiful than he first realized. Her oddness both attracted and repelled him. She would not be an appropriate anything for him, this John knew. Yet, there was something about her that was titillating.

“Thank goodness. Your mother might have my head if I had both you and your son as patients! Mr. Thornton, you may wish to go check on your mother. She is most likely worried about you and her grandson.”

“You are correct. I should.” She was uncomfortable. Perhaps she was more of a lady than he originally thought.  

 “I will be right here with Johnny, Mr. Thornton.”

“I trust you.”

“Then go. We shall be right here when you return.”

“Thank you. I will not be gone long.” He paused, turning to look at Alex once more. “He will love the stuffed toy. “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                       

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

Thornton returned within a couple of hours, he had a large basket in hand. His mother had their cook fix couple of meals for him to share with his son and the lady doctor. When he walked back to the private room his son was in, Johnny wasn’t there. A note of panic hit John Thornton’s heart. Had something happened?

The basket was dropped and Thornton vaulted quickly to the office that Alexandria Copeland used. He was wild eyed upon seeing her. His son was leaned back against the doctor, sleeping. She was gently petting the little boy’s dark locks as he rested against her.

Alex crooked her finger, motioning Thornton closer. She whispered softly. “I am so sorry Mr. Thornton. I appear to have frightened you. Johnny had a bad dream so I have kept him in here with me. He should be able to go home tonight with you. Perhaps that way you both may get some much needed rest.”

She shifted the boy around and stood up. Thornton was somewhat surprised, the doctor was much stronger than she looked. He went to take his son from her, but she waved him off. Without effort, Alex placed him back in the hospital bed.

“Have you gotten any sleep Dr. Copeland?”

“I’m fine. Not to worry. I doze off when I can.” She smiled.

“My mother sent a basket of food, if you are hungry.”

“Actually, I _am_ feeling a touch peckish. Let me make us some tea.” She set her desk as a table for the two of them. That way she could keep an eye on John’s son for a bit longer. The emergency was over with the boy. As long as he was kept away from dairy products, his allergy shouldn’t cause him any more problems.

John was plating their food when he looked up. Alex’s hair had slid from its careful knot. When she finally noticed, Alexandria went about to fix it. Unbinding her long curling mane, she let it slip down her back. He immediately thought of how wonderful she felt so close earlier and now seeing her with unbound hair? It was too much. John admonished himself silently. He should not be looking at a woman in such a way. She put it back up immediately. He noted that she didn’t seem to realize he could see her and he was correct.

Aching, Thornton looked away. It had been a long time since he was intimate with a woman. He doubted he would ever want to be again after Margaret passed. Now, lust reared its head. He throbbed with that lust. He couldn’t help but wonder what she would look like naked before him. Would her body arch with his touch? Would she welcome a big rough man like him? John Thornton doubted she would.

 But god in heaven! She was truly beautiful, in such a way he had never seen before. Contemplating on why, he frowned. She took liberties like a man did. Not that she was in any sense masculine, she simply ignored the proper decorum that most women kept to. The freedom in her was thrilling in ways John Thornton didn’t even understand.

“Is everything alright Mr. Thornton?”

What? Why was she asking? “Yes. Why do you ask?”

“Oh. I thought I heard something. Never mind. I apparently am more tired than I realized.” Alex stopped to wash her hands before going to their makeshift dinner table.

“I would have you sit at a proper table Mr. Thornton, but I would rather keep an eye on your boy while he is under my care.”

“That is most appreciated Doctor. Thank you.” Thornton looked thoughtful. “At the dinner, you were saying how community is important to people. It just isn’t the money earned.”

“Yes. I was.”

“Would you explain more of this theory please?”

“A man could have all the money in the world and if he doesn’t have anything to do with said money, it’s useless. Oh sure baubles and sparkly items are nice, but items don’t love you. People love you. It is more than that though. People are by and large, pack animals. Most prefer to be around others that are similar. That is what builds and reinforces a community.

It’s how I can walk through the Princeton district unscathed. Then I may mingle with the wealthiest of Milton immediately afterwards. ” She smiled softly. “You have been spoken very highly of by the workers in Milton Mr. Thornton. If something were to happen, they would support and help you. Those same workers would not do the same for the likes of Watson, Slickson, or Hamper. You breed loyalty within the ranks by giving your people better access to food and family. Besides your workers being far more loyal, they are also in better shape physically. Therefore they are stronger in mind and body.”

John smirked. “You would have a hard time convincing my younger sister in regards to the items, but you aren’t wrong Doctor. I never thought of it that way. You have gotten to meet the three gentleman you just mentioned. What do you think of them?”

“Slickson and Hamper are dullards of the worst sort. The fact that they might sustain a business as well as they do is surprising. Watson on the other hand is a bully and a letch.”

Nearly choking on his tea, Thornton laughed. “My you are blunt Dr. Copeland.”

“Ask me a question and I will tell you no lies.”

“Why do you say Watson is a letch or even a bully?”

“While I realize he is your brother in law, he was far too friendly for my taste. Nor will he take no for an answer unless it is enforced.” Alex didn’t have to say exactly why or how, Thornton understood the meaning of her words.

“I’m sorry.”

“You did nothing wrong Mr. Thornton. Please do not apologize.”

“Dr. Copeland?”

“Yes?”

“Would you permit me to court you?” He was as stunned by his words as much as she was.

And Alex indeed looked stunned. It was the last thing she was expecting. Remembering how in the book Margaret’s refusal hurt the man.  “As much as I would like to say yes, I’m not sure it would be a good idea. Mr. Thornton, you do not know me at all.”

“It could be a way to get to know each other.”

“It could, yes. Mr. Thornton. Please realize something, I am nearly thirty years old and married to my profession just as you are. I have never married the truest sense but I am not a virgin either.”

“I see.”

“I’m not ashamed of it, but it is something you need to know first and foremost.”

“I see.”

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

After John Thornton returned home with his son, Alexandria finally got some much needed sleep. The day spent with John Thornton had been exhausting on all fronts. When he had asked to court her, it was odd. She passed it off stress induced. Up until that day, the man had never looked at her without anger in his eyes and a scowl upon his face.

It had been six in the morning when Alex opened the doors that morning and now it was midnight. In the privacy of her office, she was sipping on a half shot of brandy. It was for medicinal purposes, just like she had offered Thornton. The brandy was warming her from within, winter was upon them. The clinic stayed warm but still there was always a draft somewhere. Holding her face in her hands, Alex was considering what to do.

It had been late, but not so late that Alex was readying herself for bed. Fanny Thornton Watson came in with her husband. Supposedly she had tripped and fallen which caused an injury to her wrist. Suspecting that the wrist was broken, Alexandria casted it. Then she saw the bruises on Fanny’s arm. Having been a trauma surgeon in one of the larger London hospitals, it wasn’t hard to tell that the bruises on the woman’s skin were finger marks. Hells bells, Alex thought, anyone could have figured it out.

Fanny didn’t ask her to not say anything, nor were there any laws that Alex knew of that prevented her from saying something. Spousal abuse wasn’t illegal. Heck many of the people she spoke with were in favor of punishing their wives and children. This was too much. Far too much.

Looking down at her blouse, the once white material had a splash mark of grey and pink on it. Mr. Watson had ran into her while she was going to dump a bowl of water that was used to clean Fanny’s arm up before casting.

Alex was fairly certain that Watson had done it on purpose to see just what she would do. Nothing. There was nothing to do. Although, the way he was leering at her chest, he probably thought he saw more than he actually did. There was enough underclothing that nothing showed through the blouse but a single button. She had tied on an apron after that to get him to quit staring. Pompous ass of a man AND a letch. What a combination. Smiling wryly, she was worried about Fanny. Could she alert John or Hannah Thornton? Would they take her seriously?

Finishing the drink, she cleaned the glass she used and put it away. Stretching, Alex yawned. What could be done, truly? She was pretty certain that John Thornton could give the Watson fellow a damn fine thrashing. Granted, Alex could as well. She could best almost any man in a fight. She had learned to protect herself before she was even a teenager and continued training until this damnable dream. The training had only failed her one time, when she wasn’t willing to use the sort of force to protect herself.

The following day had been extremely busy. Alexandria barely had a moment to fix herself a cup of tea with all that was going on in the clinic. She had sent Annabelle to Marlborough Mills at one point to deliver a note to John Thornton. She simply asked if he would please stop by after the last whistle when he was able.

With the last patient gone, Alexandria felt as if she was ready to fall over from exhaustion. She always sent her young assistant home before dark, without fail, so it was just her in the clinic. The dark streets were no place for most women, even those that knew Princeton as their home their entire lives.

With the kettle on for tea already, she was fixing herself something to eat. Alex often times forgot to eat she would be so busy. She was trying to make sure she ate at least one good meal every day in the evening hours. It was harder to do than she believed originally. Where were take-away shops when you needed them?

Pausing at hearing someone rapping on the door, she set aside the food after washing her hands.

“Oh! Mr. Thornton.” She smiled softly.

“You asked to see me Dr. Copeland?”

“Yes. Please come in. Have you eaten? I was just preparing supper.”

“I wasn’t aware that this was a social call Doctor.”

Count backwards Alex thought. Breathe. “It’s not. There was something I wished to speak to you about in private.”

“Very well then. What might I do for you?”

Alex was not one to be rushed nor bullied. She fixed herself a cup of tea and offered one to Thornton, which he declined.

“Please sit, Mr. Thornton.” Alex took her own seat.

“I cannot stay Dr. Copeland. This is already putting us in a compromising situation. I am not here for any medical problem and it is improper for us to be alone together. I have no wish to sully your reputation nor my own.”

“Mr. Thornton, there is someone we are both acquainted with who is being beaten in her own home.”

“Is this a married woman?”

“Yes, of course. It is her husband that is hurting her.”

“This is my problem how?”

“How is it not?” She shot back.

“See here Dr. Copeland, there is nothing wrong with disciplining a wayward wife.”

Alex looked at him with an incredulous expression. She couldn’t believe he was saying something like that. “Pardon me?”

“There is no law against a man disciplining his wife. It is perfectly within the rights of a husband. Some men go much too far, but as long as no one is killed or permanent harm is done, it is considered within reason.”

The color drained slowly away from Alexandria’s face and she felt ill. Looking up at Thornton was an odd feeling. It was too intimate all of a sudden. Standing, Alex backed away from him. She couldn’t find the words to say what she wanted.

“This is why women should not be physicians, Dr. Copeland. Not only does it put people in compromising positions, women are too delicate to do the work of a man.”

Normally silvery eyes were like steel as Alexandria narrowed her gaze down to focus on him. “I would love to witness you saying those exact words to you mother John Thornton.”

“How dare you speak to me in such a manner!”

 “Oh I do dare to speak to you in such a manner.” She took a step closer him. They were close enough to feel the heat coming from each other’s skin. “The reason I called for you is because it was personal. I did not wish to worry your mother, whom I admire greatly.

I treated your sister 24 hours ago for a broken wrist. I put the cast on her myself. I saw with my own two eyes the bruises that are on her skin. Those are not bruises from a fall. They are the marks that a man’s hand makes when he grabs someone too hard. She would not let me examine her further, otherwise I may have beat your brother-in-law senseless myself. If you don’t believe I could do that John Thornton, you are in for a rude awakening. I fear no man. I fear not the idle gossip of storytellers. I assured you once and I will do so again, I am the best damn doctor that you will ever see.”

Thornton’s blue eyes were like the coldest of flames. He knew in his heart that she was not lying to him. The fury that burned in her was too strong for her to be playing games. “Indeed.” That was the only word he had for her when he turned and walked out of the small clinic.

The breeze from the door opening and then slamming shut blew out most of the candles. Without thinking, Alex locked the door and blew out remaining candles. That took the rest of her strength before she just sat down on the floor and wept.

There was no way of knowing how long she stayed on the floor. Her heart ached for so many things.  She desperately wished to go home to her real life. She wished there was more she could do for these people here. Alex needed to know what was going on. Was she so ill that she was unable to wake? Was there any hope from this never ending dream? The constant loneliness was eating away at her. She wept for Fanny and others like her. She even wept for John Thornton. What had happened to him that made him so cold and cruel?

Finally, she pulled herself together and walked up the stairs to her bed. Alex didn’t even bother to undress before sleeping.

The following morning found her tired and grouchy. Luckily, the day was a quiet one. There had only be a handful of people coming into the clinic. Nothing was an emergency, it simply was a quiet day. She was just going over notes with Annabelle when the door opened.

Mr. Latimer was standing in the small waiting room.

Alexandria stepped out of the small office space to greet her banker.

“Good afternoon Mr. Latimer. Is there something I might do for you?” 

“Ah! Dr. Copeland. How good it is to see you.” He offered a hand. “Yes. Actually. Do you know who Jenny Lind is?”

Taken aback, it took her a moment to respond. “You mean the opera singer?”

“My wife was correct, you are a connoisseur of the arts. Yes, that is who I mean.” He laughed. “I had a bit of paperwork I needed you to sign and my wife asked if I would deliver something as well.”

“I suppose that could be said. How is Mrs. Latimer?” Alex glanced up while looking at the paperwork.

“Doing quite well. Our eldest daughter has returned home and we were going to have a little party.”

“That sounds lovely! I am sure you are glad to have her home once again.” Alex knew the story. Ann Latimer had lost her husband a couple of years ago in an accident. She was home for a while then travelled for a bit. Apparently now she was home again.

“My wife is very fond of you Dr. Copeland and since I needed to see you she asked me to bring you this.” He handed a cream and gold envelope to her. “I am supposed to invite you personally and tell you that Jenny Lind shall be there to perform for our guests.”

“My thanks Sir. I shall return the RSVP as soon as I check my schedule.” She signed the paperwork. It were the deeds to the property she had purchased.  Even though she had purchased the land shortly after the dinner at the Thornton’s, mail here took so much longer.

Shortly after Latimer left, one of the ladies showed up with fresh laundry, new bandages, and new gowns. After putting the items away, Alex served a simple supper for them both

“Sarah? Is there any way that you and the others could help me with a dress?”

“Do ya need it altered Doctor?”

“No. I need it created. I will purchase anything you need and pay you what I would pay for it in London, if that is satisfactory?”

Sarah almost dropped her cup in shock. “Dr. Alex! That is far too much!”

“It is fairly complicated. You most likely will need help.”

“What did you have in mind?”

The two of them put their heads together and Alex sketched out as best she could. Within the next day Sarah had all of the materials and Alexandria’s measurements. The party was 6 weeks away. The four women that regularly worked for Alex, plus one more, had it finished in four weeks. The finishing touches were put on the beautiful dress. It was a creation like none other.

Sarah and Annabelle both helped Alex to get ready on the evening of the party. Not one to ever follow trends, her hair was done in heavy but natural ringlets as opposed to the small tight ringlets most women favored. The dress was a beautiful aubergrine colored velvet with a low cut bodice. The bodice was something unusual. It was more of a giant collar that exposed the throat and shoulders in a shortened version of a cape but came down to create a short sleeve like look. The side that showed at the décolletage was an off-white tinged with lavender. The bodice was decorated with some of the finest needlework ever seen in a silver thread.

Hating the cage, she wore starched petticoats instead. Alex also wore a heavy boned corset to accent her already small waist.  The most magnificent of the ensemble, was the silver single thread stitching of a vine from waist around to her back and down to hem. The amount of work that went into it was more than most people could even fathom.

The cab ride over was fairly short and she was a bundle of nerves. Upon entering, Alexandria realized that many eyes were on her. Saying nothing about it, she greeted the hosts warmly. The first meeting of Mrs. Latimer didn’t go well all those months ago. Now, they were quite friendly. She enjoyed the older woman’s sense of humor and kind disposition. Alex shied away from most of the men. There had been too many incidents involving the Milton elite, as she called them. When dinner was called, Alex stayed with the topics at hand and did not interfere. She did, however, listen.

The dinner went smoothly, as did listening to Jenny Lind. Lind’s soprano voice was beautiful. After the entertainment, there was a dance. Not knowing the dances of the time, she stepped away. It was only then that she saw John Thornton. For once, he wasn’t scowling. Obviously he hadn’t seen me thought Alex. She hid her smile behind the glass of wine. He did have the quite lovely Ann Latimer on his arm. No wonder he wasn’t scowling.

Having met Ann earlier in the evening, Alexandria was unimpressed. It seemed that the woman had no opinions or thoughts of her own. While pleasant enough, it was difficult to carry a conversation with her. She noted that Ann, while beautiful, was nothing more than a woman looking for a replacement husband. No. She wasn’t looking for a husband as much as she was looking for a caretaker. Were most of the women her age like this? Alex wasn’t sure. The working poor were not.

The Latimer’s house was large by any standard and nearly beyond measure for Milton. While beautiful, the extravagant decorations were far from her own tastes, which were simple.

She had been talking to one of the other unmarried women when Hannah Thornton approached.

“Mrs. Thornton, a pleasure to see you again. I trust you are doing well?”

“Quite well, thank you. How are you faring in Milton Dr. Copeland?”

“Wonderfully actually. I stay quite busy. How is little Johnny?”

“He is a healthy and happy little boy.”

“That make me very glad. He is a delight.”

“Thank you. I am surprised to see you here.”

“Probably about as surprised as I am to be here.” Alex chuckled. She rarely had time to socialize.

“You aren’t dancing.” It wasn’t a question.

“I am a horrible dancer. I felt it better to stay away from the dance floor than worry about hurting others. I don’t really need any new patients.” She smiled, teasing a bit.

When the other woman left, Hannah Thornton pulled Alexandria aside. “I wanted to thank you Dr. Copeland. John informed me about Fanny.”

 “I hated to do that but I felt it was necessary.”

“You and John clash often is my understanding.”

“Alas, we do. I didn’t know it was known. He is a good man, just not fond of me.”

“It’s not. I know my son. You are both very much alike I suspect.”

“Well, I hope I have some of his finer traits.” She smiled.

Alex didn’t hear Thornton approach, nor did realize he was behind her.

“Mother. Dr. Copeland.”

“I didn’t realize you believed me to have any good traits, doctor.” He smiled.

“I dare not to say them out loud, I would hate to change your opinion of me Mr. Thornton.”

Within seconds, Ann had come back to him. There was a look in her eye that she was not pleased that he was talking to Alex. She wheedled him to the dance floor. What Alex did not see was Thornton looking back at her.

“If you will excuse me please Mrs. Thornton, I believe I need a bit of fresh air.” Air sounded better than to make a sarcastic remark and embarrass herself.

Alex walked outside on to the terrace. Leaning against the stone pillar, she inhaled deeply. Tears gathered on her lashes but did not fall. This party was a mistake. While listening to the magnificent Jenny Lind was something she would never forget, Alex just wanted to go home. Home wasn’t the clinic. Home was over 150 years in the future.

Pushing away from the pillar, she saw Thornton walk out.

“Looking for someone Mr. Thornton.”

He jumped slightly. “My apologies. I didn’t know anyone was out here.”

“No need to apologize. I was just getting a breath of fresh air.”

“May I have a moment of your time?”

“Of course. What might I do for you?”

“I owe you an apology Dr. Copeland. My behavior at your clinic was atrocious. I was more of a father to Fanny than a brother and the thought of her being hurt angered me greatly. I took that anger out on you. I am truly sorry.”

“Think nothing of it. I don’t hold grudges well. Takes too much energy and I don’t have that much to spare.”

“I have been wanting to speak to you all evening.”

“I didn’t think you knew I was here.”

“I couldn’t help noticing. You look exquisite.”

“Thank you kind Sir.” She dipped her head.

“I hate arguing with you. I believe one of the traits we share is being bullheaded.”

 “I cannot disagree with you.” Laughing softly, she smiled at him. She overheard Ann’s voice. She was looking for Thornton. “I believe your date is looking for you.”

“She isn’t my anything.” The scowl had returned. “Latimer is my banker, I escorted her around some for his benefit.”

“Mr. Thornton, if I may be so bold, why is it you are always scowling at me? I believe I have shown you to be a competent enough of a physician.”

Running a hand through his hair, Thornton looked out across the grounds. “This is not a polite conversation Dr. Copeland.”

“Since it is just between the two of us and we are in public, I find no need for politeness. I prefer the blunt truth to polite euphemisms.”

“You are an unusual woman.”

“Not really. I am just more outspoken than you are accustomed to.”

“And that doesn’t make you unusual?”

“Touché.” She laughed softly.

“Dr. Copeland, I honestly do not know what to say to you.”

“Tell me what you are thinking then?”

“I think of you often.” He turned away from her, embarrassed.

“Oh. So you need help getting rid of nightmares.” Alexandria tried hard to hide her smile and failed.

He turned around swiftly with a retort on his tongue, until he saw the smile. “You are far from a nightmare. Would you dance with me Doctor?”

It was her turn to be embarrassed. “I’m afraid I don’t know how to dance.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. I never had time to learn.”

“One day I would like to hear about your younger years.”

“My younger years were much different than most peoples.” Alex was about to say something else when she was interrupted.

“Mr. Thornton!” Ann Latimer gave a sickening sweet smile. “I had wondered where you had wandered off to. It is time for _our_ dance.” She laced her arm through Thornton’s immediately. She gave Alexandria a glare that would cut most women to their cores. Alex on the other hand, tried not to laugh.

Thornton, resigned to his duties, looked back over his shoulder and mouthed an apology.

Muttering to herself, she went back inside. “We are so not in Kansas any longer Toto.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

Three weeks later, John Thornton sat in his home speaking to the other men at his annual Masters Dinner. After having a very long talk with his brother-in-law about his sister, his mood was most foul. Watson, of course, denied ever laying a hand on Fanny. Yet, Thornton believed Alexandria over his own brother-in-law. He was unsure of what to do now. John Thornton was not a man that liked uncertainties in his world.

He hadn’t seen Alexandria Copeland since the dinner party. Originally, he hadn’t desired to speak to Alex after finding out her virginity was gone. Not because it bothered him but because his jealousy ran deep for the man that deflowered the pretty doctor. Part of it thrilled him. He wouldn’t lie to himself. She, most likely, would not be a woman that was frightened by relations. Actually, he was fairly certain that there was little that actually frightened her. Now, she was all he could think of.

She would not be a proper wife for a man of his station, John understood this. God in heaven, he wanted her in his bed desperately.  Could he come to terms with what he wanted and what he needed? John wasn’t certain he could.

The familiar scowl he sported most of the time had returned to his handsome visage. It deepened further when he thought of the pretty doctor. She was far too independent for a man like him. Women were to make a man’s life comfortable. Oh she would in the privacy of their marriage bed, for that he was certain. The rest of the time? She would bring down his status amongst the other masters considerably. Women of their class didn’t work, outside of rearing the children. Even that was mostly handled by nurses and nannies.

Yet, the night of the party at the Slickson’s, she had looked so very beautiful. There was not another woman that could compare to her in Milton. He was certain of that. It wasn’t just her beauty either. She was an intelligent, strong, and witty woman. He was certain she would hold her own with any man. He had no idea how prophetic that thought was about to become. 

Watson, Thornton’s brother in law, said something. “Hamper old man! So how did you get that bruise on your cheek? It looks as if you have been boxing.”

Thornton looked over, there indeed was a large dark bruise along the man’s cheek. He hadn’t noticed until now, so lost in thought he was.

“One of my hands had an accident, dislocated his shoulder and broke his arm. I had to take him to the lady doctor to get fixed up.”

“My god man! He did this to you?” Slickson exclaimed. “Why did you not have him arrested?”

“No, no, no. It wasn’t the hand but that lady doctor. She is a pretty thing. I thought about setting her up in some special place.”

“Hamper, you are a bloody fool.” Thornton scowled. The thought of Hamper touching Alexandria in such an intimate way infuriated him.

“A man has to do what a man has to do!” Hamper laughed. “She turned me down right quick. So when the hand was resting from whatever she gave him, I was a bit friendlier with her. The woman didn’t take too kindly to that and let me tell you boys, she packs a mean left hook.”

All the men laughed loudly, except for John.

Slickson smacked Hamper on the back with a grin. “I have to admit I tried to get her skirts up myself. At least my bruise was unseen by anyone but myself! She busted me a good one and I couldn’t even see my mistress for a week after that!”

Slickson and the rest laughed once more.

“Gentlemen, what if I told you that I had success with the lady?” Watson looked smug.

“Careful Watson, your brother-in-law is seated next to you.” Hamper grinned at John, who was seething. “You actually got her to give you a little something?”

“Well, she didn’t welcome it in the least but I can say with knowledge that she has an extraordinary pair of tits. If she were to give _me_ a bastard? That child wouldn’t get a chance to suckle upon those teats I swear to each of you!”

“Speaking of, I am surprised you didn’t invite her to the dinner Thornton. Not all of us are married.” One of the other men spoke.

Watson shook his head at the younger mill owner. “That girl is one to bed but not wed gentlemen. She is far too independent to make a good wife but with that sweet little mouth on her she would make an interesting mistress.”

It would be another two hours before the party would end. By that time, John Thornton was in a rage that could barely be contained. Apparently, this was not the first time the Masters of Milton had try to compromise Alexandria’s good nature. Each one of the men had a story or two, save for Thornton. Watson’s words made him so furious that he was unable to speak for long moments and had to excuse himself to calm down.  

When the last guest left, Hannah Thornton sought out her son. “Another successful event and another 11 months to not have to worry about it John.”

“I am thankful for that.”

“Did something happen?”

“It is nothing to concern yourself with Mother.” What had happened with the other masters was not a tale for a woman to hear. “I think I need to take a walk.”

Hannah Thornton nodded, but said nothing. She was unsure of what had gotten into her son, but his late night walks were not that uncommon since Margaret passed away.

He walked to the small house in Crampton. It was here that John Thornton had been properly introduced to Margaret. It was also here where he first declared his love for her. The house was empty but well kept. He made sure of that. The only thing the house held for him now were ghosts. Not real ones, he did not believe in such nonsense. These were but memories that would haunt him until his end of days.

Turning, he went to head back home. The journey took him elsewhere instead, the small clinic that was operated by Dr. Copeland.

He rapped on the door loudly, hat in hand, and waited. He could hear her running down the stairs. Thornton winced. Alexandria, as he had begun to call her in his mind, probably thought it was an emergency. When she threw the door open she looked startled. John Thornton was the last person she expected to see.

“Mr. Thornton! Did Johnny get into dairy again?” She appeared alarmed.

“No. I wished to speak to you on a different matter. May I come in, please?”

“Yes. Of course.” She looked shocked by his asking.

Thornton noticed her state of undress immediately. It wasn’t that the dressing grown didn’t cover as much as a dress, it was the fact it was a dressing gown. Alexandria’s hair was unbound, it flowed around her like a ripple of silk. Seeing her as such stopped him in his tracks as his hands itched to reach out and stroke her dark tresses.

He spoke with a mix of fury, lust, and jealousy. “Do you always answer the door dressed as this?” The words were snarled.

“No. You are the first person that has come to my door this long after midnight Mr. Thornton. Yet, I most certainly would answer the door as I am. I am showing less than I would on a hot summer day.”  She was haughty in her reply.

Thornton hung his head and ran a hand through his hair. He took a deep breath before speaking. “I apologize Dr. Copeland. That is none of my business. I saw the mark you left on Hamper’s cheek. I merely wished to check on you.”

“I’m fine, I swear.” She looked amused at his concern.

“I’m pleased to hear that. Have all the masters given you problems?”

“All except you.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Mr. Thornton, I saw no reason to do such. You are not a relative of mine.”

“I feel responsible.” He was the one that permitted her to stay, in his mind, after all.

She smiled. “Please, don’t. You would think that men of their ages knew how to behave properly around a woman.”

“One would.” He said archly.

“Do you need to talk? Perhaps some tea?”

“Yes, please. I would appreciate it.”

Alex fixed the tea while Thornton took a spot on the settee. Passing him a cup, she sat next to Thornton.

“I wanted to apologize to you.”

“For?” She looked puzzled.

“I said some things at the dinner that were not meant to be spoken. It was rude of me to do such.” He looked down at his hands. “Then tonight I found out about Hamper and the others getting fresh with you, I wanted to beat them all senseless.”

“I’m glad that you didn’t beat anyone senseless Mr. Thornton. I would have hated to have to treat your damages AND mine.” There was just enough of impish good humor in her eyes that made him smile in return. “No, it wasn’t rude. I told you. I prefer blunt honesty over innuendo any day.” She looked to him briefly. “I’m afraid where I have lived and Milton have different customs and etiquette.”

“I also didn’t take well to your admission about your virginity.”

“I did that on purpose.”

“Why?” Thornton was surprised.                                                        

“If I may be my normal overly blunt self, Mr. Thornton. If you couldn’t handle the truth of the woman that I am, then you would have no business being near me except in the professional sense. I can take care of myself. I promise you that. On the other hand, I do appreciate your candor and your concern.”

He studied her silently for a moment. “If you were agreeable to me courting you, you could have easily made up an excuse.”

“I don’t feel the need to make up an excuse. I am not ashamed of what I have done with my life. To be perfectly honest, my only regret is that I didn’t tell my parents I loved them as often as I should have.”

“How long have they been gone?”

“Too long.”

“I understand.” There was sadness in his smile.

“I wish you didn’t understand.”

“Would you speak of yourself? Would you tell me of your youth?”

“Only if you will do so as well.”

“I will.”

“What would you like to know?”

“You are obviously English, but you spent time elsewhere?”

“I was born and raised in London. My father is from America but my mother is from Leeds. They met in London through friends. I spent several years over there. It is where I studied medicine and became a doctor.”

“You use doctor, physician, and surgeon interchangeably.”

“It is a bad habit of mine. Doctor is my title, just as your title is Master. I am technically a surgeon, physician, and an apothecary.” Thank god I remembered that, thought Alex.

“How so?”

“I can perform surgery on people, give them medicine, and create medicine.”

“I have never heard such a thing!”

“I told you that you would never find a better doctor than I.” She teased.

Thornton laughed. “Yes you did.” Reaching up, he tucked a curl back behind her ear. John would never have done that to another woman, but with Alex it felt natural. “May I call you Alexandria?”

“Of course.”

“Will you call me by my Christian name?”

“Yes John. If you wish.”

“I do believe you can take care of yourself.” Going back to what she said, John nodded.” I saw the bruise you left Hamper with.” Thornton smiled.

She laughed.  “Alas, not one of my finer moments but it did take care of the situation.”

“Indeed it did.” Thornton smiled. “What happened with Watson, if I may ask?”

Alex chuckled softly. “He upended a bowl of water I was carrying when I had treated one of his people. I believe he thinks he saw more than he did.” She shook her head with amusement.

“How do you do this?”

“What do you mean?”

“All of this. Treating people all the time while the men tend to try to compromise your good name.”

“It has only been the mill masters that have tried that nonsense. The mill workers and the other merchants would never take such liberties, nor have they tried.”

“How strange.”

“Not really. I have earned the respect of the workers and merchants.”

John Thornton studied the woman before him, contemplating what she had just said. Shaking his head, John didn’t know what to say. “It is very strange to be speaking to a woman, while she wears her night clothes, about liberties.”

Blushing, Alex looked away. “My apologies Sir. I had forgotten what I was wearing or not wearing as the case may be.” She stood to go change into a day dress.

Reaching out, he wrapped his hand around her wrist to stop her from going. “Don’t be.” He was pleased that she was that comfortable with him. Or was she that comfortable with everyone? The bitter taste of jealousy filled him once again. What was it about her that fascinated him so? “You frustrate and confuse me Alexandria.”

“Why? Other than my lack of social finesse.”

“You the most honest and open person I have ever met in my life.”

“Honest and open are far less difficult than closed and lying. You don’t have to remember the tales you tell.”

 “People hide their true selves and true natures. You do not. You show yourself in all of your facets. “

 “John, I uhm….”

“Please allow me to finish? You are as refreshing as you are lovely my dear Dr. Copeland. I cannot help but wonder what it would be like to uncover whatever it is that you do hide from the prying eyes of polite society. We started out poorly, I would like to rectify that. I also would enjoy getting to know you better. There is something about you that I find thrilling and fascinating. I would still like to court you Alexandria, if you would have me. “

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                                                                                                                                               

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

There was a furrow at her brow, surprised by his admission. “I enjoy your company John Thornton that is the truth. I don’t know if I could give this up, I feel like I am able to help the town of Milton.”

“I wouldn’t ask you to give up anything Alexandria. You _are_ a help to Milton. Perhaps a change of location, would be all I would ask.”

“A change of location?”

“Yes. Perhaps something closer to the mill and what would be our home.”

“That sounds reasonable.” Yet, she frowned again. “May I ask of your reason why you wish to court me John?”

“Besides finding you fascinating and thrilling?” He chuckled when she nodded. “I have developed feelings for you Alexandria. The way you are with my son and how he is with you, I’m sure helped some. Please believe me when I say it is far more than that. I don’t laugh often these days and you have the ability to make me smile and laugh. I don’t think I have met another person as intelligent as you are.”

The doubts stayed there, hidden within Thornton. There was no way he could tell her that he was concerned.  Would she make him a laughingstock with her strange ways? Would he lose the admiration of others that he enjoyed having? Men listened attentively when the Master of Marlborough Mills spoke. Their wives followed suit.

She was an outsider, not one of the fine families of Milton. At least with Margaret, her family had lived in Milton before they passed away. They had made their mark on the industrial town. Alexandria had none of that. Although she was making her mark in a different way.

She chewed on the corner of lower lip. If I am going to live in this dream, I might as well enjoy doing it, she thought. “Then yes, I accept your proposal.”

Leaning in, Thornton kissed her full lips. The tender kiss was almost chaste, at least to start with. Alex’s lips parted, permitting for the kiss to deepen. Surprised at such sweet passion, Thornton pulled her to his lap. She straddled the tops of his thighs with arms sliding about his neck and felt him harden at the apex of her thighs. The long nightdress rose upwards, until it bared her long legs almost entirely.

John had the words of an apology on his lips but when she pressed down and towards him, the words were lost. Alex undulated her hips to grind against his erection. She felt his groan of pleasure more than heard it. His cheeks were red with fire but he didn’t stop her. He had no desire to stop her, truthfully, but he had to be certain this is what she wanted!

“Alexandria, we must stop.”

“Is that what you wish John?”

“No.”

“Then don’t.”

Thornton tugged at the ribbon that closed the neckline of her nightgown. He inhaled sharply. The full swells of the tops of her breasts were bared before him. Kissing the smooth flesh softly, his hand cupped one. The nipple immediately hardened through the thin cotton cloth.

Without a word being spoken, John Thornton swung Alexandria up and into his arms, carrying her out of the way of the windows where they could possibly be seen.  Upstairs in her small bedroom, Alexandria was placed back on her feet. The dressing gown fell to the floor with just a roll of her shoulders.  Carefully, the nightgown was pulled away. He gasped softly, Thornton had been reaching for her and his hand stopped abruptly in midair. He knew she was slender, anyone could have seen that. Yet, Alexandria wasn’t slight. Her body was well curved and she was far more toned than he would have ever guessed. Running his hand down the slope of her bottom, he thought that he would die right here on the spot if he wasn’t able to touch her further.

Moving, Alex helped John remove his clothing. It was maddening for him. She was teasing him in ways he didn’t know were possible. They were close in height, so that gave Alexandria an advantage when brushing up against him. Removing the jacket and his cravat, she pressed her thigh rhythmically against his erection. Shoes and then pants were removed. John stood there in his undergarments while she knelt at his feet. Her cheek rubbed against his still covered cock. Until finally, he was as bare as she.

Taking her hand, he raised her to him. His eyes bore into the very depths of her soul. Work roughened hands skimmed across her skin. It took all of his control to be gentle. He feared scaring her. John watched his hands tremble the fear was so great. His head dipped and lips met with the curve of her shoulder. Inhaling, her scent was sweet and warm. It reminded him of summers when he was just a lad and everything was different. Urging her closer, her body met his own. Those gentle hands of hers slid along John’s hips and behind. He trembled in the close proximity as she slid her fingers up his back.

Alexandria’s touch slowed him, making him savor each brush of their bare flesh. Thornton was surprised to find that she had no inhibitions in touching him. She bit gently at his chest, teasing his nipples with her tongue. Turning, she moved him to the bed. Her body staying close in contact with his own. On his back, John Thornton curled his fingers into the bedding when she continued lower.

Flipping her hair out of the way, Alex’s lips touched his manhood. The kiss was brief but the trailing of her lips down his shaft wasn’t. She was so gentle that it surprised him further. Between his legs she laid, Silvery eyes watching him as she drew his manhood between her lips, sucking.  He couldn’t break away from the sight of her.

Even the whores he had paid for as a young man weren’t like this. The kernel of worry blossomed in his chest once more. John knew that she wasn’t a virgin. Yet, this much knowledge was more even than whores seem to have. He was a man of a divided mind. Lust battled with the jealousy he felt.

Hips raised to meet her and thrust in. She took him all. Fingers at the base of his cock stroked gently. One hand cupped around his testicles, long nails scratching lightly at the underside as she took him further and deeper with each stroke. The vibration at the back of her throat made it all the more pleasurable.  When he knew he couldn’t keep control much longer, John pulled Alex upwards into his arms.

He kissed her lips once more, savoring the taste of her. One hand cupped her breast while his thumb made lazy swirling strokes against the hard peak of her nipple.  Nothing in life had prepared him for _her_.

John was surprised to feel the bare flesh between her legs. There was naught but a thin strip of fuzz. He had never heard of something like this before, let alone felt it. Alexandria nipped his ear feeling the surprise in him.

“I shave John. It’s not unlike what you do during your daily ablutions.”

With a gentle touch, he parted her, opening the folds of silken skin. Groaning against her throat, he was surprised how wet she was.

Her hand curved around his thick cock, holding it. Slowly, she permitted him to enter her. Thornton slid inside of her, causing her to cry out for him. Hands grasped her hips and she gave him a smile. Using her long legs she wrapped around him, clinging. Oh how he watched her.  He drank in her beauty and saw how she ached for his touch.

His hand stroked the fine flesh of the woman below him. Like most men, he enjoyed sex. Yet this was wholly different. She was a siren luring him to his death and he would gladly give her his life for just one more moment of bliss.

Unused to a woman participating to such a degree, let alone taking such control in bed, he was oddly content to let her do as she wished for the time being. When she rose to kiss him, John wrapped his hands into her hair. Full parted lips, with little mewls of pleasure washed across him.

He could see in her eyes that she was enjoying herself as much as he was! It surprised him. The careful control he had started to dissipate. Faster were his movements and she matched them with her own. Sweat slickened body, arched into him.

She welcomed his passions. She welcomed his driving lusts, much to his surprise. Never before had a woman given herself in such a way. Even with the paid women, there was decorum to be had. Now? No such thing mattered, it was simply the act of two becoming one.

If he were to die this very night, he would die a happy man. Kissing her softly, the thrusts were powerful, almost brutal in their taking. John Thornton was a large, strong man and he felt no need to gentle the lust he felt for the first time in his life.

When she still cried out with pleasure, he drove in harder. He grabbed one of her legs and lifted it higher, deepening the brutal thrusts. The velvet wetness of her chamber was so very tight. She clenched him from within. The ripple of muscle over his cock while she milked him from within made John see stars.

Just when he thought he could not take anything more, Alexandria orgasmed around him. Her sweet cries calling out to him and for him were enough to push him over the edge. He found his own release seconds later.

He went to move away but Alex shook her head. Laying his body against her’s John Thornton worried his weight would be too much for younger woman to bear. With a delicate touch, she swept her fingers along the nape of his neck and on to his upper back. The gentle touches were lazy strokes of woman pleased.

“I had no idea.” John whispered in awe.

Opening her eyes lazily, she made noise urging him to explain. “mmhm?”

“You enjoyed yourself as I did…”

Alex nodded. “Yes. I very much enjoyed myself.”

“Is this normal?”

“It can be, yes.” She smiled up at him.

The look of pure satisfaction made John laugh softly. “My beautiful Alexandria, you look like a cat that has had too much crème.”

She just smiled dreamily. For the first time in John Thornton’s life, he was absolutely content with himself.

 


	9. Chapter 9

Alex woke with a start. Lighting a candle, she checked what time it was, 4 o’clock in the morning. What time did John have to go to the mill? She never asked. Blowing out the candle, she curled back into his arms. He was sleeping so peacefully that she hated to wake him.  What about his mother and son? Would they be worried that he never came home last night?

She ducked beneath the heavy quilt, making sure that it was kept drawn up. It wouldn’t be good to wake the sleeping man with cold air. Her hand slid across the tip of his manhood. He wasn’t erect. With a gentle touch she slowly coaxed him to hardness. When John mumbled in his sleep, she stopped to let him fall back to his dreams.

Her lips found him. Drawing the tip of his cock between them, Alex began to suck gently. A swipe of her tongue around the head, the quick movements beat a tattoo against the velvety flesh. John was waking now. Yet, he still wasn’t fully awake. Gently she pulled away, kisses sliding down his impressive manhood. One hand stayed wrapped around the base, slowly she squeezed and slid her hand up and down. Lips brushed against his testicles. Tiny little kisses over them and under. Taking one into her mouth, Alex suckled. Her own noises of pleasure touched his skin.

A strong hand was in her hair, the tips of his fingers digging into her scalp. She took his cock fully in one sweep. Tears gathered in Alex’s eyes with him fully engorged and taken as far as she could. When she heard the gasp of breath and the slow panting, she smiled like she never had before.

“Alexandria?” His voice was thick with sleep.

“Mmmmm…”

John pulled her free and up the bed. Full lips were swollen with the use from the night before and now. He had to kiss her, it felt like his life depended on it. Pinning her to the bed, his mouth sought her own. She returned the kiss with the same passion. Rolling on top of her, immediately John penetrated her deeply. Hips bucked up against his. Her body arched as she ground against him. One hand grabbed at Alex’s wrists and pinned them above her head.

With his head drawn back John growled with the exquisite pleasure of her body. Never before had he permitted his passion the freedom that it craved. Her limber body melded to his. Long legs were around his waist and heels dug into his arse. His hand still keeping her pinned, John Thornton pulled away from her mouth. His lips found the softness of her breasts and he kissed and bit at the flesh that could be reached. Finally, he secured a nipple between his teeth and bit down. He was surprised she didn’t scream when he bit so savagely. Alex, instead, purred with pleasure.

She did indeed cry out when he pulled free from that velvet wet sheath. Shoving her to her belly John took her from behind. The sound of his body slapping against her wetness drove him to distraction. Hands slid beneath her body to cup and tease her breasts.

She swung back with her body and met those same thrusts. Groaning, John kissed and bit at Alex’s shoulder. It was almost too much for both of them to take. In an instant, Alex stilled. A powerful shudder made her body clench around him. He relished in the pleasure she took and gave in return. Soft voice called his name over and over again. He kept thrusting in, forcing past the clenching muscles until his own pleasure was found.

This time he stayed connected to her, keeping his weight to his forearms. Alexandria laughed softly, sweetly while lifting her bottom up to press against him. John swatted the side of her thigh playfully.

“Incorrigible!”

“I cannot disagree with you Mr. Thornton.”

Rolling to his side, he laughed. Alexandria turned to face him.

His fingertips traced gently across her cheek.  “I feel foolish asking this, but it is truly enjoyable for you to have relations in such a way? I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“Yes, you felt wondrous John. I enjoyed myself greatly and no. You didn’t hurt me in the least.”

“I believe you have far more experience than I do.” He was fishing for information.

“There has only been one man in my life prior to you John, if that is what you are asking.”

“I see.”

“You may ask me questions. I will answer as truthfully as is possible.”

“Why are you not with this man any longer?” Would she go back to that man if something were to happen to the mill?

“He became very ill and passed away.”

“Alexandria, my sincere condolences. I……I had no idea.” Knowing that, the kinship he had begun to feel grew instantly.

“It was a long time ago. Truthfully, if you wish to court me, you have every right to know of my past.” Well, as much as she could tell at least.

“Thank you. Oh and you were so in need you couldn’t wait until the sun was on the horizon?” John smiled gently while tucking her hair back behind her ears. It was his way of letting her know that he was merely teasing.

“I didn’t know when you needed to be at the mill.”

“Today is Sunday my Alexandria. We don’t run the mills on Sunday.”

Blushing brightly she ducked her head. John was having none of that. He placed a single fingertip beneath her chin and brought her eyes to his. “You never need to look away from me. Ever. A lady should never be afraid to look her husband in the eye.”

“I am surely no lady John Thornton. My beginnings are not far from your own. I come from working folk just as you do.”

The realization was true. Margaret had been a lady. What he and Alexandria just did no lady would ever agree to, even as husband and wife he believed.

“I also thought that your mother may be concerned.”

“You are most likely correct. She would be.” He sighed and gave her a kiss.  “Alexandria would you sit with us at church this morning?”

“I, uhm. I haven’t been to church in Milton yet John. My Sundays are usually spent here with people needing help or restocking the items needed for the week.”

“Will you come with us?”

“Yes, John. I shall. It will be a lovely day. I admire your mother and I will get to see Johnny, yes?”

“Yes, you will. The coach will pick you up at eight.”

“Thank you.”

“I hate leaving you like this.”

“John, I swear. It is fine.”

His brow drew together looking at her. This was so very wrong. They were just now courting and not married yet. Margaret would never have done such a thing even in their marriage bed. Trying to push the thought away, John knew it was true.

“What’s wrong?”

“Not a thing. I am just not looking forward to leaving the warmth of your bed.” He lied. But he started to rise and get dressed to return home.

“Please. Do not lie to me to cover your feelings John or to spare mine.”

“Are you calling me a liar?” He appeared offended.

“Yes I am. You are hiding your true thoughts from me.”

“What we did was improper.” He admitted in a whisper.

“John, everything about me is improper by your standards.” Her smile seemed sad.

He did not know what to say. He couldn’t disagree with her.

“Mr. Thornton, it is best that you leave. I will not tell anyone of the courtship, not to worry. I absolve you from any commitment to me.”

“Alexandria….”

“Mr. Thornton, it is fine. You would be doing both of us a disservice by staying. I would rather a mistake of an evening spent together than a mistake of a lifetime.”

Without another word, he showed himself out.

The weeks that followed were busy in Milton. All of the mills were working at full capacity. This meant more injuries as well. Alexandria felt that she was working around the clock.

 The leaves were starting to turn and the cooler nights of autumn were upon Milton. Alex had stopped in the draper’s shop to pick up some new fabric for more gowns and wraps. She was in the back when she head the bells above the door jingle.

“I’m so excited for you Ann!” Fanny Watson gushed.

“You really think he will Fanny? I’m not so sure.” Ann Latimer gave a soft reply.

“But of course! It is so easy to read John, truly. He has something on his mind and it has to be you.”

“But how do you _know_?”

“Because I am a married woman AND his sister.”

Alex tuned out after that. She smiled softly to herself. As much as she appreciated the man that John Thornton was, he was not for her. They were just much too different. Not surprising really, since Alexandria’s great-great-great grandfather wasn’t even alive yet. She was surprised by his choice of a wife but it would be for the best. There was no grudge against them held by Alexandria. In her heart she wished both of them well.

Still, she waited until Fanny and Ann had left to complete her purchasing. The material would be delivered to Sarah on the following day. She took a walk out past the train station to the plot of land she had purchased shortly after the dinner she had with the other merchants and the Thornton home. She smiled at the colors bursting in the field. It was absolutely stunning. It also marked one year that she had been in Milton. Looking out over the horizon, she smiled at the sun. This was never her choice. Alexandria still had no idea what had happened. Not one to dwell on things that couldn’t be helped, her only hope was that whatever was going on her parents weren’t worrying about her.

Over the next few weeks John Thornton was doing the necessary paperwork with his inventory. There had be a subtle change over the last few months. Production was at an all-time high and orders were getting filled at a faster pace. Frowning, he was unsure why. He had changed nothing in the mill recently. Over the course of several days, Thornton took notes and watched. It wasn’t until he was dining with Higgins at the mill kitchen did he realize what had happened.

While Saturdays were short days at the mills, they were painfully long for Alex. It was the one day that the workers could get their children and themselves taken care of. Rarely, did the majority of the workers come to Alexandria on a Sunday unless it was an emergency.

There was a system to the chaos in the clinic, if one could believe it. Annabelle did triage and Alexandria saw the patients. Most urgent of cases were bumped to the front. Annabelle had proven her mettle and was now handling the minor needs.

When John Thornton stepped in, he was surprised to see all the commotion. Alex had just stepped out of a storeroom with a needed kit in hand. She almost ran into Thornton’s back.

“Mr. Thornton! Is it Johnny?”

“No. He is doing wonderful. I came to see if I could have a word with you.”

 “I’m a little pressed for time right now but you are most welcome to come back later.”

“If it is alright with you, I’ll wait.”

“It’s going to be a long while.” She said nothing else before heading back into the exam rooms.

It took nearly seven hours before the last patient was seen. Alexandria had sent Annabelle home hours before, around six in the evening. It was now past ten.

Sitting down, Alexandria exhaled deeply.

“Do you need some help?”

Visibly jumping at the sound of his voice, she started to laugh. “You scared me.”

“My apologies. That was not my intention.”

“Have you been here this entire time?”

“Yes.”

“Why?”

“I said I wished to speak with you.”

“Very well, you speak I will clean up.”

“Permit me to help you.”

“I would but, no. It’s easier for me to do it. Some of the waste products need to be burned so as not to harm anyone. I thank you for offering.”

“Harm anyone?!” Thornton looked alarmed.

“Yes. Not to worry, I know what I am doing so you are fine Mr. Thornton.”

“I had no idea.”

Looking over her shoulder, Alexandria quirked an eyebrow upwards and smiled, yet said nothing.

“You are the best doctor I have ever seen.” He laughed.

It took Alex a good 20 minutes to get everything out and ready for a burn tomorrow. The clinic was mostly back to normal, thankfully.

“What may I help you with Mr. Thornton?” Alex finally sat down.

“I saw what you meant today.”

“Oh?”

“They do respect you and you respect them.”

Nodding, she smiled. “Yes, I do.”

“Why?”

“Class is a manufactured construct. It really has no bearing in much of anything except purchasing power. Just because one of your hands is poor and has to work means little to nothing in the long run. It doesn’t make them a better or worse person. They may be more desperate. Those of your class will most likely enjoy better health because of where you live and what you may purchase for food but it doesn’t mean you are better than they are. You merely have more money to spare. The same goes with education. Your class will be able to purchase education where as theirs may not. It doesn’t create intelligence. Intelligence is largely what you are born with. It doesn’t matter to me what their class is. It has nothing to do with honesty or honor.”

“Did any of the people you saw today pay you?”

“I have no idea. I haven’t bothered to look yet.”

“Does that not matter to you?”

“Not really, no.”

“Why?”

“The rains that came a few weeks back? There was minor damage to my roof. It was fixed immediately. That was the payment I took. I may be out until the wee hours of the morning with a difficult birth Mr. Thornton. I never fear walking home, someone is always with me.”

“How many people do you employ?”

“Not including Annabelle, 20 I believe. Mind you they aren’t all full time under my employ.” She smiled softly. “I have five full time employees. If the work gets to be too much for one of them, or perhaps they are nursing a sick child, they farm out the orders I have given them and keep a small amount as a finder’s fee for themselves.”

“I see.”

“Actually, I don’t think you do.”

He was taken aback, once again, by her bluntness.

“It is far too late to do it now but if you like, stop by in the morning about six. I’ll have you back here no later than a little after seven so that you may go to church with your family.”

There was a bit of a chill in the air and Alex was wrapped up in a warm shawl. Thornton was right on time.

“Would you like to take a cab?”

“I prefer to walk.”

“As you wish Doctor.”

They spoke little during the walk over. It was too early for deep conversation and neither were overly fond of idle chit-chat. Just before the train station, Alex took a hard right turn and led Thornton to a field.

“It’s beautiful. But I don’t understand why you are showing me this.”

“It’s roughly three acres. Not enough really enough for a building, save for a smaller home. Who wants to live that close to the train station? I paid little for it but now it is reaping the rewards of those that truly own it.”  Turning her head and smiling, Alex looked at him. “Look closely, tell me what you see.”

Shielding his eyes with his hand, Thornton peered across the land. There was a small shed at the back of the property and when he finally paid attention he realized that the land was dotted with small gardens.

“Give a man a potato and he eats for a day. But teach a man to farm and he eats for a lifetime – or something like that.”  Turning, Alex started the journey back to the clinic.

“Alexandria, stop please?”

“Yes?”

“This is the change I am seeing at my mill, isn’t it?”

“Given I don’t know what you are talking about, I am unable to answer that Mr. Thornton.”

“I thought I had asked you to call me John.” He looked pained.

“That would be improper Mr. Thornton.”

He closed his eyes at the gentle rebuke.  “I deserved that.” The words were soft and when she said nothing else, he started again. “My orders are getting finished and shipped in record time. The hands are working harder but there is more enthusiasm in general. It’s smoother going as well. This is because of you isn’t it.” They began to walk again.

“Because of me? No. It’s because your workers have better conditions. The wealth doesn’t trickle down from the upper to the lower classes Mr. Thornton. Wealth is distributed not by coin alone but by making the living situations better. Every one of your hands? They have worked hard, harder than they ever have before in some situations. Now? You have contributing members of your community. The only thing different between us and the working poor of Milton? Situational. Not everyone had a mother like you did and do.”

“I think you are one of the very few younger women that actually likes my mother.”

“Other’s fear her because they know that they cannot survive what your mother was able to persevere from. Your mother is a strong and intelligent woman. She is also caring and loving. People only see what they wish to, perhaps that is what I am seeing. Your mother and mine weren’t all that different.”

As promised, they returned to the clinic just a few minutes before seven in the morning.

“This would be my stop. Thank you for taking that walk with me.”

“May I come inside for a moment?”

“Mr. Thornton I don’t believe that is a very good idea.”

“Then I shall say it here. I miss you Alexandria.”

“I heard that you were marrying Ann Latimer.”

“God no! Who said this to you?”

“Nobody exactly. I overheard Fanny say to Ann that it was happening.”

“My sister doesn’t know what she is talking about. I swear this to you.”

“I believe you.”

“Alexandria……”

“Enjoy your day Mr. Thornton.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

One of the ladies that worked for Alexandria stopped by one late evening out of the blue.

“Sarah!” Alex smiled, happy to see her friend. “This is a surprise. Come in come in.”

“Yer a sight better than the last time I saw you.”

“Sleep is a wonderful thing. Would you like some tea? I was making myself some.”

“That sounds nice, thank ya.”

Fixing two cups of tea, the ladies sat in the sitting room upstairs. It rarely got any use except for Sarah’s visits.

“Alex, I wanted to warn ya about somethin’.” Except in the clinical setting, Alexandria had instructed her employees to call her Alexandria or Alex. Some, like Sarah, did. Other’s felt uncomfortable.

“Warn me of what?” She was confused. What unspoken rule was broken now?

“Don’t know who or what or even when, but there is going to be an accident at one of the mills.”

“What sort of accident?”  Brow creasing, Alex didn’t miss the terror in her friend’s voice.

“I don’t know that either. It’s being talked about tho’.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know anything other than what I told ya.”

“Why did you tell me Sarah?”

“Doc, if something happens at one of the mills, there is gonna be a lot of good people hurt. Might even kill’em. The mill closes, then folks are outta work and they starve. No one would believe my word but they would believe you.” She shrugged.

Sitting back in the chair, Alex steepled her fingers against her lips. She was trying to figure out what to do. “Thank you for letting me now Sarah.  I think I need to go.”

“Of course. Please take care. This could be bad Doc.”

“I’ve heard the stories.”

Wrapping herself up in a warm shawl, she went out into the night. She couldn’t go to the any of the mill masters, save for Thornton. So it was there she went. Alex took to the streets in a run, thankful that the town of Milton was asleep for the most part. She was unladylike in her demeanor once again, Alex ate up the distance easily and upon reaching her destination banged heavily on the padlocked entrance to Marlborough Mills. Cursing softly, she kept banging. Finally, Williams peeked outside the gate.

“Doc! What in the blazes are you doing here at this hour?”

“I cannot explain Mr. Williams but I need to see Mr. Thornton now.”

“I’m sorry Doc, I can’t do that. I need this job.”

“Fine.” She moved so it looked like she was turning away. In an instant, she pushed past the older man and took off running towards the Thornton home. There she did the same thing. She banged on the door until Williams caught up with her, pulling Alex away from the door. She was damned near ready to fight the man when the door opened.

“Annie!” She pulled away from Williams. “I need to see Mr. Thornton or Mrs. Thornton now.”

After a few more moments of struggle. Alex was led up the stairs and into the sitting room. She was met by Hannah Thornton.

“DR. COPELAND! This is highly inappropriate!”

“Mrs. Thornton, I understand this. Please believe me, if I didn’t think there was validity to this, I wouldn’t have come in the middle of the night. One of my employees snuck over to tell me that someone is planning on an accident happening in one of the mills. I have no idea who what or even when, but I do believe her in my heart and soul. “

Watching the color drain from Hannah Thornton’s face as it did put Alexandria in the role of doctor once again. Helping the older woman to sit down, she knelt at the side of the chair.

“You are certain of this?”

Nodding, Alex spoke but one word. “Yes.”

Hannah looked up sharply and called for Williams. “Please go wake my son and tell him we have a guest that needs to speak with him.”

“Yes Mrs. Thornton.”

Stumbling out a few minutes later, in a reasonable state of dress, a rumpled John Thornton sat down heavily. “Alexandria! What is wrong? What’s going on?”

“Sarah came by well after dark to bring me news John. The talk in the Princeton district is that there is going to be an accident at one of the mills. She didn’t know how what or when, just that it was going to happen.”

“You believe her.”

“Yes. Very much so. You have seen how the workers are with me. I have no reason not to.”

Nodding to himself. “Very well. I shall go to the other masters tonight. Thank you.”

Hannah Thornton said very little. There wasn’t a need to say much. She did however notice that her son and the pretty doctor had used each other’s Christian names. How well did they know each other?

“If you give me a moment, I will walk you back to the clinic.”

“No need. I can take care of myself, but thank you.” Why do I always feel the need to say that? Rubbing her eyes, Alexandria was exhausted and truth be told, frightened.

“Please, Dr. Copeland. Allow John to see you to your door. It is far too late for a lady to be walking about.”

She was about to decline when she saw the look in Hannah’s eyes. She was worried. “Very well, Mrs. Thornton. I shall wait.”

The walk back to the clinic didn’t take long. They could easily keep up with each other’s long quick strides.

“Thank you.”

“You are most welcome Mr. Thornton.”

“Back to Mr. Thornton is it?”

“I don’t understand. I have almost always called you Mr. Thornton.”

“You didn’t tonight.”

“Bloody hell. I did that in front of your mother didn’t I?”

He laughed. “Yes.”

“I’m so very sorry. I was not paying attention.”

“I rather like it when you use my name, Alexandria.”

“It is improper Mr. Thornton.”

“So are my thoughts of you.”

Shaking her head, Alex smiled wryly. “I suppose that is my own fault.”

“It was no one’s fault.” His smile was gentle.  “May I check on you on my return home?”

“I will most likely be awake.”

It was nearly four in the morning when John Thornton returned to the clinic. There were a couple of candles burning, so he knocked quietly and tried the door. She had left it open.

“Alexandria?” He called out.

“It the very back!”

Seated in the laboratory portion of the small clinic, she was working diligently. “Just a moment, and I will be done.”

“What is all this?”

“Apothecary.”

Finishing what she was doing, Alex went to wash up. “My apologies. I didn’t realize you would be that quick.” Exiting the laboratory, Alex took him upstairs to the sitting room. “Please, have a seat Mr. Thornton. I will put the kettle on.”

“We shared in the chore of alerting others. It went quicker because of it.”

“Ah.”

“What were you making?”

“I’m not even sure how to explain it but it is something to help keep burns from getting worse.”

“You can do that?”

Alex nodded. “Yes.”

“The wonders of medicine!”

“I always have it on hand but I think I perhaps should have more on hand.”

Thornton’s brow knitted. “Why?”

“If something does happen in one of the mills, there is a fairly high likelihood it will catch fire was my thinking.”

“You are not wrong in that assumption.”

“Is there anything that can be done?”

“When the sun comes up, we will search the mills but that is all that can be done without more knowledge of the situation.”

Setting the tea on the table next to him, Alexandria stood for a moment, looking thoughtful.

“What are you thinking?”

“I am worried for you and your workers. All the workers.”

“Not the other mill masters?” He teased.

“Not as much as I worry about you.” She answered truthfully.

“Come here.” He paused for a heartbeat. “Please?”

“Yes?” She stepped closer.

John laid his head against her midsection. His arms wrapped around her slender waist. “I’m afraid I made a grave error.”

“Oh?” Tentatively her hand brushed across his shoulder.

“I was far more worried about how you and I would appear to others than how you and I would be to each other.” He admitted. “I did us both a disservice Alexandria. I have regretted my words to you since that day.”

“Thank you John.”

“I beg of you, give me another chance. Give us another chance. Please?”

She pulled away from his embrace and she saw it in his face, John Thornton crumbled. Sitting down next to him, her silvery eyes searched his blues. He looked to her with hope.

“You have one last chance John. That is all.”

“I won’t let you down.” He kissed her soft lips with a smile.

Pulling her closer, John nudged her to his lap. Alexandria fit against him perfectly. She fit him perfectly. The kisses became more insistent when he pulled her one leg over so that she may straddle him. His hand reached up and pulled the pins from her hair.

“I love seeing you like this my love. I love the way you feel against me.”

She couldn’t respond, instead her body trembled against his.  John stood, making sure her legs were wrapped tight around his waist.  His breathing was quicker and his thought was to take her to her bed but he couldn’t wait. Pressing her against the wall, his hands reached underneath the voluminous skirts.  Tearing at the fabric of her underthings his fingers found her.

“John….” A soft voice was but a warning, she wasn’t going to hold out for long at this rate. His trousers were undone and immediately he sank deep into her. She had no leverage against the wall. Little grunts, sounds of frustration brushed his lips.

Arms around his neck, she held tight to him. Thighs tightened at his waist and she took every stroke with more cries. Silvery eyes widened, looking into his own stormy blues. “I love you John Thornton.”

Tearing at her blouse, he exposed her breasts. Biting, sucking, he mauled at their firmness. “My Alexandria, oh how I love you so.”

Soft lips found his once more as he drove into her body. Pleasure and pain collided within Alex, she cried out over and over again. Wetness gripped him tight, milking his cock in rhythm to her orgasm. It took no time for John to reach his own. Still, he pumped into his beloved, spilling his seed. Their bodies slowed together until they were both spent.

He was still buried to the hilt inside of her, Alex laid her head against his shoulder, unable and unwilling to move. John tilted her chin with a single fingertip, finding her lips. The kiss spoke the volumes that he didn’t know how to say.

Backing up, John felt the settee against his legs and sat down.  No words were necessary in those moments. They simply held each other close.

“As much as I don’t want you to, you best go so your family does not worry and nobody sees you leaving here. Can’t have you looking improper.” She teased, sliding from his lap.

“I shall carry you through the day with me my Alexandria. I will see you after the last whistle.”

“Just please, John. Please be careful I…..”

John stopped her before she could continue. His large rough hand touched her cheek gently. “Until then my Alexandria.” One kiss later and he was gone.

The house was dark when John arrived. He barred the back door and locked it. The staircase was taken quietly. When John Thornton started to pass through the parlor on the way to his rooms, he was startled by his mother still awake and waiting.

“John, what is wrong? Are you okay?”

He kissed mother’s cheek before walking over to his chair. Thornton sat down heavily and smiled.

“Everything is quite well Mother. Quite well indeed.”

“Where did you go John?”

“To all the masters. Then I went to the clinic.”

Hannah Thornton knew that he was alerting the others but hearing he returned to the clinic surprised her. “Are you ill son?”

“Not at all. Did you see the bruise on Hamper’s cheek the night of the masters dinner so many months back?”

“It would have been hard not to notice.” Hannah said wryly.

“Dr. Copeland did that to him.”

“For whatever reason?!”

“He tried to get fresh with her. When she declined his offer he tried to force the issue.”

“What a vile man!” Hannah was shocked. “Was Dr. Copeland hurt?”

“She apparently has quite the nasty left hook according to Hamper.” John chuckled.

“Good for her. I do not condone fighting, but that a _master_ would do something like that to a lovely woman such as Dr. Copeland? That is disgusting.”

“It wasn’t just Hamper. All of the masters, including Watson, have tried to get fresh with her.”

“I hope you said something to them, especially your brother in law!”

“In my own way, I suppose I did.” John smiled.

“I am surprised at you John. I hope you were not alone with Dr. Copeland. That could have placed her in a very poor situation and compromised her if she was seen alone with you.”

“My son could have been ill again as far as anyone would know.”

“You know better than that John. It wouldn’t matter to the gossips of Milton.”

“Mother, I asked Alexandria’s permission to court her. She said yes.”

The only thing that shocked Hannah over his declaration was that, normally John would have consulted her on such matters. She had seen it in his eyes from the first time she saw her son and the doctor together in the same room. “Do you love her John?”

“Yes. Yes I do Mother. I do not know if her feelings for me run as deep as my own do for her, but I do know she has feelings for me.” It was the first time he realized that. John Thornton had very much fallen in love with Alexandria. Yet, the worries about her being so different were still there.

“She said so?”

“Yes, she did.”

“I knew there was something between the pair of you tonight. You two used each other’s Christian names.”

There was a moment of hesitation before he told her the rest. “Mother, I asked to court her months ago and recanted. No one knew but her and I.”

“Why?”

“Why? Because I was a fool. I was more concerned about what others would think than what I thought.”

“She isn’t what a man like yourself would typically look for in a wife.”

“Too true. Yet, she is perfect for a man like me Mother. Other than you, she is the strongest woman I have ever met.”

“I know that Margaret and I didn’t get along overly well.” Hannah started slowly. “Dr. Copeland seems to be an intelligent woman with a good head on her shoulders. I find her interesting and strong.”

John Thornton smiled crookedly at her. “She loves Johnny. You would think that she was his mother already. You know that she admires you. What more can I ask for?”

“You need a woman for you as well, not just us son.”

“I have that with her. She makes me laugh again and smile.  She fascinates me in ways I don’t understand. Her knowledge is incredible.”

“Please be careful John. You are still mourning Margaret, you and I both know this. I believe she will make you a good wife. Be gentle with Dr. Copeland and make her a good husband as well.”

 

 

                                                                                                       

 


	11. Chapter 11

It was a quiet morning in the clinic. The streets, on the other hand, were busy. With all of the mills being searched, the workers didn’t return home. After the each mill was deemed safe, the workers were allowed in. It worried Alexandria, truthfully. Who knows what one of the workers could do while there or carrying something in.

Yet, it the quietness of her day did gave her time to work in the lab and Annabelle made up the kits for different treatments. One thing Alex could honestly say, she missed music while she did busy work. Pausing what she was doing, Alex washed up in order to make a cup of tea.

“Annabelle?”

“Yes ma’am?”

“I’m taking a break, would you like some tea?”

“No, but thank you for the offer.”

The two women chatted amicably for a little while when something loud shook the small clinic. Running outside, the plume of smoke was easily seen.

“Oh god.” Running back in, Alex grabbed the large traveling bag that she used to make house calls. Propriety be damned, she ran towards the smoke. It seemed to take forever to get to where the smoke was coming from. Hugh Gentry was a new mill master. He had purchased the mill just a couple of years ago from a distant cousin. While new to Milton, Gentry wasn’t new to the cotton mill. His father owned two in Manchester, he had grown up working alongside his father. The smoke was coming from the Gentry mill.

Having to push through the crowd, Alex grew angry. She was losing precious time. The building was in flames. Six men had gone into the building earlier, two came staggering out. There was no way anyone could have survived if they were still in there.

“DOCTOR ALEX!”

Turning, she ran to the area the voice came from. The man was unrecognizable. There was no chance of survival. Even in her own time there wouldn’t have been, he was just too far gone. Another man lay prone several yards away. She ran there next.

The fact there was blood surprised her. Feeling around his neck and throat, Alex made sure the best she could that there wasn’t an obvious break in his neck. Turning him over, she felt ill. It was John Thornton.

She felt for a pulse and found none. Alexandria, with shaking hands, began to give him CPR.

Muttering to herself, tears formed in her eyes. “Not now John Thornton. You are not leaving me now. I can out stubborn you!”

Something hit her in the chest, knocking the wind out of her. It was one of the other mill masters.

“You won’t desecrate him like such!”

Teeth bared, she looked like a wild animal. “I’m trying to save his life you fool!!” The man backed off immediately. Which was probably a good thing. She might have killed him.  Her own chest aching, Alex went back to work. Finally, she found a pulse.

Calling out to some of the men to grab a door, she needed to get him back to the clinic. Two of the larger men in the crowd helped her.

“He gunna live Doc?”

“He bloody well better.”

In the clinic, they lifted John onto a bed in one of the private rooms she used as a trauma room. She cut the clothing off of him quickly. A few first degree burns and contusions were the majority of the injuries on his torso. The cause of the blood loss was much more minor than she thought, it was a simple cut to the head. While it bled quite a bit, it didn’t even require stitching. Positive that a couple of ribs were broken, she ignored all of that for the time being.

“Annabelle, go to Marlborough Mills and get Mr. Thornton’s mother. Do not let her come back in here until I come out. Send people to Dr. Shanks if they need help. If he wants payment tell him I will pay for it if need be.”

John groaned as he began to awaken further.

“John. John, I’m here. Stop struggling. You are going to be fine. I’ve got you.”

His voice was strained, rough from the smoke inhalation. He gave her some semblance of a smile.“Best doctor I will ever meet.”

“You know it. I am going to give you some medication.” Pain medication and an antibiotic were injected into him. Waiting for the pain medication to begin to work, Alex began to organize what needed be done in her head.

The worst of the burns were to his face and neck. Most of his hair was singed on the right side. The burns were third degree and spread forward about a half an inch from his natural hairline. The thin band of burns would scar but as long as they didn’t get infected he has a good chance of survival. Thinking he must have covered his eyes with his arm, there was a gap where the flesh was barely touched. The burn continued down from his face down his neck and onto his chest.

She debrided the burn painstakingly slow. This was her specialty and Alex knew exactly what she was doing. She wished that she had all the technology she was used to, but the treatment of burns wasn’t too different in the long run.  

She head the cry of anguish from Hannah Thornton as Annabelle took her into the waiting room. Alexandria’s heart ached for Hannah, but right now John was more important. She did however permit Annabelle to peek in for updates. While time seemed to be at a standstill, three hours had actually passed. An IV was going, a fire started in the fireplace. A large kettle of water was set in the fireplace to keep a warm humid environment. It was only when everything was done to her satisfaction did Alex exit the room.

“Dr. Copeland?” Hannah Thornton was a sickly shade of white, even while sitting. When she began to stand, Alex put a hand on the older woman’s shoulder to keep her sitting and sat next to her. Unbeknownst to Hannah, the way Alex touched her wrist was to keep an eye on the older woman’s pulse rate.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t come out to you sooner, but John was my priority.”

“I understand. Is he?.....” The strong and stoic Dragon of Marlborough Mills sat there with tears on her face.

“He’s resting now. When I arrived at the mill, John wasn’t breathing.” Alex slid her hand to Hannah’s. “It’s okay. I was able to remedy that. He has woken and spoke to me but only for a moment. I wanted to keep him free of pain for as long as I can. He has broken ribs and a pretty severe burn on one side of his face.”

“Will he be scarred?”

“Yes. I think I can make it lessen but there will be some scarring. Mrs. Thornton, this is my specialty. This is what I know and do best. As long as nothing gets worse John will be fine. It will take a while to heal, but he will heal.”

“Thank you. May I see him?”

Alex nodded. “Let me gown you up and we will go in. He looks a lot worse than he is. You cannot get too close but you will be able to see him.”

Helping Hannah Thornton put two gowns on over her dress and then putting a mask on, Alex walked her into the room. She was only permitted to go as far as the end of the bed. Alex was now worried about infection. The less people the better. Leading her back out, Alex sat with her again.

“I’m not going to reopen the clinic until John has healed enough that I won’t worry about things getting worse. I am paying for the others to go to Dr. Shanks. I will take the best care possible of John.”

“Do you love him Dr. Copeland?”

While she looked surprised, Alexandria answered truthfully. “Yes. Yes, I do. I would give my own life to save his.”

It was then that Hannah Thornton did the unexpected, she kissed Alexandria’s cheek. “Thank you.”

“You are most welcome. I do need to get back in there with him.”

For over 24 hours Alexandria kept John under constant surveillance. She did not eat or sleep, nor did she want to. She read to him, spoke with him, and simply held his hand. Hannah Thornton stayed at the clinic as well for the first 24 hours. Finally, Alex sent her home.

It was early the next morning when Mrs. Thornton returned to the clinic. She was bearing a basket of food. Not finding Alex nor Annabelle, she peeked into John’s private room.

Sitting in a chair was Alexandria. Her head on the mattress at John’s hip. An arm stretched over his stomach, John had laced his fingers through hers. Awake, he gently ran his fingers through Alex’s hair. Just as Alex cared for him, John was taking care of the exhausted Alexandria.

“John?” Hannah spoke softly.

Turning his head to the noise, he gave a trembling smile. “Good morning Mother.” He mouthed. From the smoke and the burn, it was painful to speak.

Jumping awake, Alexandria was startled, having felt another person in the room. When she started to pull away, John Thornton squeezed her hand gently.

“Am I permitted in?”

Nodding, Alex gave an embarrassed smile. “Of course. I will give you some private time.” Starting to rise, John squeezed her hand again and shook his head. “No.”

“Yes. I need to make up another treatment for you. Please Mrs. Thornton, take my seat.”

John scowled as best he could at her, although it no longer touched his eyes. Half of his head and face were bandaged. There were others on his hands and torso, but not nearly as thick. Tucking more pillows behind his back, Alex helped him sit up.

“I shall return shortly. If either of you need me, I am just down the hall.” She closed the door behind her.

“You really love her don’t you my son?”

Nodding, he smiled as best as he could. It was too painful to talk. Tapping his mother’s hand, he motioned to her ring finger.

“Do you need something?”

Nodding, he motioned to the ring finger again.

“You wish to marry her?”

Again, he nodded but tapped the finger again.

“Ring!” Hannah’s eyes widened in surprise. “You need a ring.”

He nodded and smiled.

“The purple sapphire that was your great-grandmother’s would look beautiful on Dr. Copeland. It’s a rarity not to be backed in gold. She did have a love for platinum and silver pieces.”

“Please mother that is the perfect one.” He rasped.

“Do you wish to have it today?”

John nodded. “Please.”

Tapping on the door first, to announce her return, Alex came back in. “Mrs. Thornton, I hate to do this but I need to ask you to leave. I need to debride the burn again. That requires me medicating Mr. Thornton. It will take a few minutes to set up so once I give him an oral medication he should be able to talk for a few minutes.” 

“Open your mouth please Mr. Thornton. Swish the liquid around a few times before you swallow.” She squirted the medication in. Pausing, she waited. “Better?”

His voice was still raspy, but it did help. “Thank you.”

“May I stay here at the clinic until John wakes up again Dr. Copeland?”

“Of course.” She smiled gently.

When Hannah Thornton stepped out of the room, Alex was ready to start. “Ready?”

“Not yet. Alexandria?”

“Yes?”

“Do you still love me?”

“John Thornton!” She scolded him gently. “Of course I do. You cannot change that.”

“Sit with me please?” He slid over as well as he could on the bed.

Doing as asked, she took the hand that hadn’t been burned or hurt.  Leaning, she kissed his lips lightly. “Why do you ask such things?”

“I will be disfigured.”

“There will be scarring, yes. This right here is my specialty. You will not be disfigured. Even if you were, that doesn’t stop you from being you. While I do find you to be a very handsome man my dearest John, it is more than your looks that I fell in love with.”

“I do not want you unhappy.”

“I shall not be unhappy. John, I love you so.”

“Good.” He smiled.

“Are you ready now?”

“Yes.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

Day in and day out, Alexandria sat with John. She and his mother were his only visitors. It was done that way on purpose. It took nearly four weeks before Alex let him out of the room in a wheelchair. Johnny was able to see his father through the glass window but that was all. She had to explain several times to both John and Hannah Thornton why. She was trying to maintain the least amount of contact with the outside world to keep any infections from starting.

With her due diligence and that she was able to give him a steady course of antibiotics, John never developed an infection. For two months, Hannah Thornton and Alexandria Copeland were his constant companions. His mother brought word from the mill to him daily. Everything was running smoothly as if he were still there.

When Hannah came, Alexandria would take Johnny to the out building behind the clinic to play. He loved his time with Alex. She would sit at his level on the floor. Every time he came, she would have something new for him to play with. It wasn’t just play either, Alex made certain that much of it was a fun learning experience as well. He wasn’t even five yet and by the time his father was ready to leave, he could read simple childhood stories.

John Thornton stayed at the small clinic for nearly 8 weeks before he was permitted to leave. The burn did leave a scar, but it wasn’t as hideous as he expected. It was still very red and would continue to be so for a while.

The day John Thornton was allowed to return home, he proposed to Alexandria. He teased her that after living together and sleeping in the same room for nearly two months, they should marry for propriety sake. To make it official, Alexandria would attend church service the following Sunday.

The Thornton clan arrived exactly on time at the clinic. Alexandria Copeland was met with a discreet kiss by John Thornton at the door. When he tucked her hand around his arm, Alex tipped her head to hide a smile and a blush.

“Good morning Mr. Thornton. You seem well rested this fine morning.”

“A bright and sunny good morning to you as well Dr. Copeland. You are a picture of loveliness. The early night seems to have done wonders for you.”

He helped her up into the cab of the coach. His son hadn’t realized that they would have someone joining them this morning.

“Dr. Alex!” Johnny rushed into her arms making Alexandria laugh happily. She kissed his cheek.

“Why young Master Thornton what a surprise this is!”

John sat next to his mother and watched Alex with his son. His heart swelled with a happiness that he had never known before.

“Good morning Mrs. Thornton. It’s a pleasure to see you under much better circumstances for a change.”

The chatter was warm and light as the cab turned to head to the church. John exited first with his son, then helped his mother out. Holding Johnny at his hip, he offered a hand to Alexandria. She noticed that little Johnny did the same, imitating his father. Taking the boy’s hand, she exited the cab with a discreet wink to John.

A rumble of laughter left Thornton’s lips. He was pleased to see how she cared for his family. For propriety sake, Alex sat between Hannah and Johnny. She had no idea how many people stared at her with the Thorntons. Even if she had known, it wouldn’t have mattered.

A few of the church goers stopped and asked Alexandria for advice. She answered them as she always did, warmly and calmly. She and John had planned on taking a walk after church, just the two of them. The weather was crisp, but for nearing winter it was warmer than normal. It was a lovely day for a walk.Though he did not complain, Johnny Thornton looked sad that he was not invited to go. Whispered soft words from Alex told John that she wouldn’t mind if his son went with them. He thought about it for a few moments and agreed. If Alexandria was to become his wife, she would be the mother of his son.

Johnny held one of Alex’s gloved hands and the other was tucked around John’s arm once more.

“Where are we going?”

“There are no great parks here in Milton that we may go, but there is a grassy hill far above the smoke of the town.”

“I rather like the smoke of the town. After all, I did find you there.” Alex wished she could lay her head against his broad shoulder, but if anyone saw, she didn’t want to deal with the nonsense.

“Alexandria?”

“Yes?”

“I love you.”

She smiled “Is everything okay?”

 “Of course.” He ran his hands through his hair, wanting to say more. “I do not have the way with words that some do, but believe me when I say I love you. I want you in our home. Sharing our lives. I want you with me for always.”

With Alex’s head turned towards him, she didn’t see Johnny come running up to her. Alex was knocked over and immediately started to laugh. Righting herself, she bounced the boy happily.

“John Thornton II!” His father growled. John was angry that his son interrupted the moment and knocked Alexandria to the ground.

The little boy’s face crumpled, but he did not cry. “I’m sorry Father.”

“Johnny, will you go pick me a bouquet of posies please?” Alexandria had a knack for easing the little boy’s fears. There weren’t many late blooming flowers about but there were some left.

“Really??”

“Yes, really.” Alexandria watched the boy run and pick the flowers as asked.

It took a bit, but younger John Thornton came running back happily. His hands clutched the flowers he had picked.  He blushed when he gave them to Alex. She tipped her head forward, inhaling the scent. Taking two flowers from the bunch she placed one each in both father and son’s lapels.

Needing to get back to the clinic, Alex rose and dusted herself off. Smiling at father and son, she was happy. Alexandria was becoming part of Milton and the lives of its people. The desire to go back to her own reality was mostly forgotten.

“Imagine, being escorted by the two most handsome gentlemen in all of England. I am a lucky woman.” Alex bit her lip to keep from giggling as father and son sported the same blush.

John arranged for the reading of the bahns and the marriage certificate following week. Hannah Thornton, with the help of Alexandria, planned the wedding and the wedding breakfast. The last item on the list was a wedding dress.

With even more help from Hannah Thornton, Alex found one she liked. The dress was simple but the bodice had fine silver stitching. It would match the bride’s eyes perfectly. The seamstress was pinning the dress to make the small changes that were needed for the dress to fit. A layer of silvery silk had to be added to the hem so that it would a proper length to fit.

Alex had just changed back into her day dress when she heard the voices. Two women were in the front of the draper’s shop talking.

“Fanny, I cannot believe your brother is marrying _that_ woman.” Ann Latimer said in a mock whisper.

“I am so sorry Ann. I don’t know what has gotten into John’s head! He should be marrying a respectable girl that is of his station, like you.”

“She works. Rumor has it that he will continue to work after they wed.” Ann spoke with distaste.

Fanny Thornton Watson shook her head. “She is so far beneath my brother, I cannot imagine what he sees in her. I wouldn’t stop for a woman that low on the streets.”

Hannah Thornton was embarrassed by her daughter’s words. She started to go to the front of the shop when Alexandria stopped her.

“Please Mrs. Thornton, I am perfectly capable of handling this myself.”

Stepping out of the back, Alex held her head high and straightened her spine. She was a formidable opponent on the best of days. Now, she was even more so.

Silvery grey eyes cut to the two women. Alexandria looked down upon them with a frosty stare. “You understand ladies, when you wish to speak ill of someone, you should check your audience fully. You never know who may be in attendance.” Fanny opened her mouth to say something but the sharpness of Alexandria’s look silenced both Fanny and her friend. “I can assure you both that I have been called far worse by far better than the likes of either of you. Your poor manners and ugly behavior shame only yourselves, thankfully. Tread very carefully next time. For if there is indeed a next time, I shall not be nearly so forgiving.”

Instantly, Hannah Thornton knew that Dr. Alexandria Copeland was a perfect match for her son. Walking out, Hannah gave her daughter a look of warning. The words whispered by Hannah in passing were for Fanny’s ears only. Yet, the look of shame on Fanny’s face was there for all the world to see.

“I will be proud to call you my daughter, Alexandria.” Hannah gave her a slight smile.

“Mrs. Thornton, you have been a kind and generous woman to me in the short time I have been in Milton. I cannot thank you enough. I will be proud to call you Mother.”

The wedding was a small event, but perfect to what John and Alex wished for. Alexandria made certain to include Johnny in the wedding ceremony as well, much to the surprise of the guests. The breakfast was a delight to everyone that attended. Once tea was over, John and Alexandria Thornton had excused themselves for the evening.

The lady’s maid that was now employed by the Thornton household helped Alexandria remove the gown and unpin her hair. The maid noted with some interest that Alex wasn’t the least bit nervous.  Perhaps that was because the woman was a doctor the maid considered, still it seemed strange to her.

After helping the new bride into a nightgown and dressing gown, the maid was excused. Immediately, the gowns were removed, propriety be damned. Alex had procured one of John’s shirts without his knowledge. She slid it on with nothing beneath it. The buttons were left undone until right below her breasts.

When she entered John’s bedroom she was quiet. He wasn’t anywhere to be seen. So she crawled on to the vast bed, laying in the middle on her belly. The shirt she wore hiked up just enough to expose the curve of her bottom, perhaps a tiny bit more. Long legs were bent at the knee, keeping her feet in the air.

Within seconds, John walked in already in his dressing gown. Looking around, he spotted his new wife. The way she lay and with just his shirt startled him. Immediately he was hard and aching.

“What are you wearing Alexandria?”

“I procured one of your shirts dear husband” She lifted her head from a pillow. “Does it bother you?”

Licking his lips, John didn’t speak.

Sitting up and sliding off the bed, she approached him. The shirt barely covered her sex and the way it was unbuttoned he could see her firm breasts bouncing gently with each of her steps. Unbound hair reached to the small of her back. John watched her walk towards him. Alexandria had a snake-hipped walk that he had never noticed before because of all of the petticoats she wore.

It was damn near pornographic.

Alex placed a chaste kiss upon John’s lips, hoping to break the spell which he seemed to be under, and started to walk away.

The kiss did what it was supposed to. John snapped back to reality and grabbed her hips. Pulling her back to him.

“And why are you wearing one of my shirts wife?” He teased her.

“Because I am bathed in your scent my husband. I feel as if you are all around me.”

Undoing the sash at his waist, the dressing gown was dropped to the floor. He had not bothered with his own night clothes. Already, he was so hard that it almost hurt. Alex pressed back against him. Large, strong hands grabbed her swaying hips and pulled her tighter to him. John let out a hiss of lust and pain as that round bottom of hers rubbed against his cock.

She slid from of his grip and stepped towards the bed. The stolen shirt was dropped to the side.

Bared fully to him, Alex crawled across the bed. Without realizing what he was doing, John grabbed her ankle and pulled her back towards him.

“You are a wanton little thing.”

“Oh?”

Alexandria was pulled into his arms. She kissed him with such divine pleasure. Their bodies tangled, touching each other as if it was their first time.

Looking into each other’s eyes, their hearts and souls bonded as their bodies did.

“I love you John Thornton. You have me heart and soul.”

It was the first time she had said the words out loud as his wife. It surprised him that this beautiful, intelligent woman could love him so. Other than his mother, most of his life was spent without love. Even with Margaret, she had only been part of his life for a very short time.

Lifting her head, she kissed him to show him the love and adoration she felt. His hands stroked her warm body. He marveled at her strength yet she was so very feminine.

Strong hands, rough with work, slid down the flat plane of Alexandria’s belly. He wondered what it would feel like beneath his hand when she was swollen with their child.

Fingers traveled lower, brushing against the strip of fuzz between her thighs.

“Why do you shave your curls?”

“I have for a long time. It just keeps things…..neater. I will stop if you wish for me to.”

“It is merely different and I was curious.”

“I also shave my legs.” She slid her leg against his.

“I could get to enjoy this.”

“And this?” Soft lips blossomed beneath his. Alex ran his fingers through his hair. She nudged him over on to his back. They didn’t break the kiss. Her slight weight upon his thick muscular form felt marvelous to John. His arms wrapped around his wife’s waist, holding her close to him. Staying like that for a while, they simply enjoyed each other. They had nowhere they had to be and that was a luxury within itself.

Turning, John moved both of them to their sides. Cupping her jaw gently, his eyes searched hers. Oh how he wanted to voice his fears to her! It wasn’t just that, he wanted to share everything. He wanted to tell his new wife the love he had for her and how she brightened his day. There was so much he wanted to say but was unable to find his voice.

Without thinking, John took Alex’s hand in his. He kissed the back of her hand before moving her palm against his chest, she could feel his heart beating.

Alexandria slid her hands over his chest, lulling him into a peaceful calm. Returning the gesture in kind, John ran a single fingertip down her spine. His hand ended up splayed across her hip. He couldn’t help but notice how very fine she was built. She felt so delicate. Eyes closed for a moment, John touched his lips to her’s.

Reflecting on his life, John knew he was not dealt an easy hand, but it didn’t bother him. Well, it didn’t bother him until he met Margaret. Oh how he loved her! Even when he felt he should hate her, he loved her all the same. That fateful day at the train station, her coming home with him. He had 18 months of love.

When Margaret died in childbirth, he thought he would go with her. In the following days, John wanted to. If it wasn’t the fact that his son needed care, he may have done the deed. The last four years had been so lonely. He swore would never seek out another women. He had no wish for that sort of heartbreak again.

He was furious when he found the new doctor to be female. John knew part of that fury was because he was immediately attracted to her.  What sane man wouldn’t have been? She was beautiful. As he got to know her, it wasn’t just her beauty that intrigued him. She was brilliant, kind, and had such a generous soul.

Just as he felt that he could never have Margaret, he assumed that Alexandria was the same. No, that wasn’t true. He made her out to be the same. Their bearing and aloofness was so similar John couldn’t help himself in that regard. So, he thrust the thoughts of her into the deepest recesses of his mind and it occasionally bubbled over into anger when he would see Alex.

 Now, everything was different. With a certain reverence, John touched Alexandria’s skin gently. It was as if he could hardly believe she was there with him. He needed to know every part of her.

Caressing her cheek, he kissed her once more. His large hand was gentle as it swept down her back and over the curve of her bottom. Pressing tighter to him. Alex slid a long leg over his hip. It left way for the tip of his cock to brush against her wet sex. Neither tried to force the contact but it was getting more and more difficult to not fully consummate their marriage. It wasn’t until John felt he couldn’t last another minute that he slid into her wetness.

This time, he pressed into her slowly, deliberately so. Alex luxuriated in the feel of him. Sliding her under him, he moved agonizingly slow. Back arching, her head tipped back. Nails bit into his skin as hips rose to meet his thrusts.  Kisses covered the side of her throat and when John couldn’t take any more, he bit the flesh there. Slipping down some, Alexandria kissed his broad chest. Her lips finding his nipples. Her sucking and nipping make John groan.

Pausing his thrusts, he looked down to his wife. She couldn’t be any more beautiful than she was in that moment. Full lips were half parted and her skin was flushed. John listened to her soft sweet cries at the wondrous torture he was doing.

“John…….please.”

“Please what my beloved wife? What is it that you want?”

“You. All I want is you.”

“You have me.” He thrust hard into her once again. “I’m here with you.”

They made love, not rushing any part of it, for hours.

The sun was starting to rise when they finally fell asleep in each other’s arms, spent.

They both woke about mid-morning. Alexandria stretched languidly, pressing into John. She started to rise so that they may eat.

“I have never met another woman such as you.” He watched her with a smile.

“You most likely never will again.”

“Oh?”

“Of course. I have to keep you from the wanton ways of other women.”

John rolled his eyes and grabbed Alexandria around the waist, pulling her back to him.

“And where do you think you are going Mrs. Thornton?”

“Are you not hungry John?”

“Famished. Luckily, I thought ahead.”

Rising, John went to pick up a basket. He had had the cook pack a morning meal for them. Alex was on her belly, legs up while bent at the knee once again. She was admiring his backside with a grin.

“Cat got your tongue?”

“You have no idea how handsome you are do you John?”

He shook his head. “No. I am just a big rough fellow. A scarred one at that.”

Sliding off the bed, Alex pushed him gently onto a chair. She climbed on his lap, naked. Looking into his blue eyes, she smiled softly.

“John, you are not –just- anything. You are a mill master, yes.” Wiggling her bum against his lap she grinned. “You are quite big, yes. “ She laughed at his expression. “You are never just something. You are my love, my husband. You are my life. I have never wanted or needed a man before, until you.”

“Witch! You have bespelled me. Not that I wish to complain.” He smiled, looking into her silvery eyes.

“Would you like to eat?”

They relaxed together while sharing the breakfast. It was a rare lazy morning. Their words were soft, for each other only. John in his dressing gown and Alex in his shirt once again, the fed each other from their fingertips. They had decided to share their meal in front of the fire.

Unable to help himself, John made sure that they were always touching. A brush of a hand, a stroke of skin against skin. He couldn’t believe how a simple meal could be so very erotic.

While the topic was certainly was improper for eating, John spoke his mind anyway. “I didn’t realize that women could enjoy coupling as much as men, until you.” Reaching over, John stroked his fingers through her hair, musing. “It still surprises me.”

Alex chuckled softly. “I believe I told you once before that men and women are only truly different because of society. Biologically we are almost identical.” She paused for a moment before beginning to laugh. “Well, except I have an innie and you have an outtie.”

“Alexandria!” He was scandalized. “I have to admit, I am very happy you behave yourself in public!”

While her expression did not change, the color drained from her cheeks. Alex felt sick to her stomach. Had this been a mistake? Swallowing, she kept her voice neutral. “If you would excuse me John, I need to dress. I’m surprised that your mother or Johnny hasn’t been up here to check to make sure we are still amongst the living.”

“Mother took Johnny to Fanny’s for a couple of days so we may have some private time.”

“That was very generous of her.” Alex smiled as best she could and walked to her dressing room, firmly closing the door behind her.

John immediately knew his mistake. His new wife had never behaved other than as a proper lady should in public.  If only she was more like Margaret, he sighed. The thoughts weren’t new, John had such thoughts prior to the accident. Why were thy back now?

John found his wife in their private sitting room, reading.

“I didn’t mean to upset you. I have never seen you behave inappropriately in public. I rather enjoy it when you are inappropriate in our bed.” There was something a little cheeky in his smile. “Are you certain you do not wish for a wedding vacation?” He sat down next to her, knowing his words earlier had hurt Alex.

“Yes, I am sure.” Her reply was gentle. “We have a lot of things going on currently. We can take one next year for our anniversary.”

“We will have to see. You may be ready to expand our family by then.”

Alex was about to ask what John meant when it dawned on her. He was talking about her being pregnant. That was something she never took into consideration. Fuck.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

After John’s initial faux pas, the week of spending time together was filled with happiness. Thoughts of home rarely crossed her mind and when it did, it was fleeting. Perhaps she was in a coma Alex mused, but this was her reality now and she was happy. That was a blessing.

Alexandria and John Thornton had spent the days following in a leisurely fashion. Hannah and Johnny had just returned to the Thornton home that day. There was a concert that evening that the newlyweds were attending. Alex had just finished dressing when John came in the room.

“You look beautiful.” He kissed the nape of her neck.

“But of course, I have to hold my own next to my handsome husband.” Alex stood, smiling. She kissed the corner of his mouth warmly.

“Turn around.”

Alex did a spin, letting the dress float around her. Facing John once again, she gave him a cheeky grin.

A low chuckle left his lips and the mere sound made Alex shiver with pleasure. John turned his wife so that her back was to him. Carefully, he slid a purple sapphire solitaire around her throat. It was the same design as the wedding ring she wore.

“These pieces were my great-grandmother Thornton’s. She was given the ring on her wedding day and the necklace one week later. She loved these pieces. She had left them to me for when I found the woman that would make them beautiful. That woman is you, Mrs. Thornton.” He kissed her ear gently.

Looking down, Alex touched the pendant lightly. “John. It’s beautiful. Thank you.”

“Not a beautiful as you are Alexandria.”

Turning, she cupped his cheek with her hand and kissed his lips. There was a moment of sadness in her eyes. “I wish my parents could have known you. They would have loved you just as much as I do.”

“Thank you. Although, I must admit that I hope it would be in a different way.” John was trying not to laugh.

“John!” Alexandria laughed.

“Shall we?” He offered his arm.

Taking it, they walked down the staircase together. Hannah turned hearing their footsteps. Alexandria and John made a lovely couple. Even with the scarring on John’s face, they were absolutely stunning. Alex wore a deep violet gown. It was quite simple, permitting the woman wearing it to shine rather than the gown. John’s cravat was made of the same material with a black formal suit.

Helping Alex into the carriage, John sat next to her. Nuzzling at her neck he whispered softly. “How is it that even now I want to take you and make love to you?”

“I don’t know but I feel the same.”

“You are temptation personified my Alexandria.” He ran his fingers right below the necklace, stroking the top of her breasts.

“Keep that up John and I shall ask the driver to return us home.”

He laughed lowly as the carriage stopped. “Tempting my love. Tempting.”

They mingled for a bit before the show started. Men and women both stared at the newlywed couple.  If either of them noticed, it wasn’t apparent. As always, Alexandria behaved as a woman of her newly acquired station should in polite society.

While John stopped to chat with some of the other masters, Alexandria separated to talk to the wives of the men.

“Damn Thornton. If we knew that you were so suited for married life we would have bought you a whore years ago while you waited.” Watson laughed.

“Pardon me?”

“You look positively relaxed. A lot more relaxed than I have ever seen you in fact. If I had known that was the case I would have brought you to a brothel years ago. Just remember, I told you that one is to bed not one to wed.” Watson laughed once more at his own joke.

“Are you comparing my _wife_ to a prostitute Watson?”

“Come now Thornton, you have seen the way _all_ men look at her. If she was a dessert we would all want seconds.”

Angry, John’s hands clenched into fists. 

In grouping of mill wives, Alexandria was staying fairly silent. Fanny Thornton Watson had joined them. The younger woman did not look good. There were dark smudges under her eyes. She was far too thin and too pale. Alex, like the doctor that she was, was trying to assess what was going on.

“Sister dear, we must go shopping together and get you some new clothes! Yours are positively boring!” Fanny crowed at Alex.

“I rather like my clothing Fanny. I’m not one for adornments really.”

“If you are going to be married to a mill master, you have to dress the part.”

The other women started to chime in. They agreed with Fanny.

Trying to remain polite, Alex smiled. “No. Really. I’m fine.”

Alexandria pulled her sister-in-law over for a private conversation. “Fanny are you ill?”

“Of course not!” The younger woman was trying too hard to smile.  It made her appear brittle.

“Fanny, please come see me? I am concerned about you.”

The chimes rang to signal that the audience needed to take their seats for the show. Both Alexandria and John were thankful.

Alexandria loved the show. John on the other hand was unimpressed. He had seen these concerts too many times in recent years. Still smarting about Watson comparing his wife to a prostitute, he stared off into the distance. Lost in thought, John didn’t know what to do. The men that had always listened carefully to him were now making him a laughing stock. It was all due to his choice in a wife.

Glancing at Alex, she was enthralled in the music. Still, there was nothing that she had done to raise his ire. Sitting properly, her hands were in her lap. Attentive and listening, there was a hint of a smile on her lips. Nothing at all set her apart from the other women at first glance. Although at second glance there were differences. Alexandria was stunningly beautiful. Her figure, even hidden beneath the clothing, was sublime. There was a youthful air to her even as she approached her 30th birthday. Her eyes, pale and silvery grey were surrounded by thick black lashes. It gave her an appearance of wearing cosmetics when she wore none at all. Fair skin was unblemished. There usually was a ready smile upon her full berry colored lips.

Yet, none of the other women worked. None of the women touched a man other than their own husbands. Alexandria did. It wasn’t sexual, of course. It was just the nature of her work. She saw men and women without clothing on a daily basis. She touched their skin and examined their bodies. It wasn’t proper. At all. Plus, she was paid to do such. She wasn’t that different than a prostitute in such a way, perhaps Watson had been correct.

Like a prostitute, Alexandria wasn’t shy about being unclothed before John. Margaret always wanted to remain in her nightgown, even when they had relations. While he loved how Alex participated in their joinings, it wasn’t normal, except for a whore. Probably not even for a whore. Nobody knew her prior to her move to Milton. Perhaps there was something darker in Alex’s past than he knew about?

Did this mean she would be an adulteress? Is that how she became a doctor, through trickery? She knew more about how to please a man than any whore he had gone to years ago. Once she had explained it was because she was a doctor, but that didn’t make sense to him.

John knew that he had made an error in marrying her. He let his lusts drive him to such. He should have known better when she permitted him to bed her out of wedlock. By god, she was a beautiful woman but beauty wasn’t worth living with someone the rest of your life.

Sighing, John knew that it wasn’t just her beauty. Alexandria’s gentle and kind nature was beyond anything he had seen before. You didn’t just speak with her. Oh no. It was never that simple. You shared an experience with her. With Alex, you were the most important person in the world in the moments you shared space with her. She was attentive but not overly so that it seemed out of place.

Oh but the embarrassment! She was just so _different_. And different was not a good thing in Milton. What if buyers of his cotton found out about her? Would he end up losing the mill? He had already lost respect.

_Margaret! I’m so sorry! I have shamed you._ The plea in his mind for help went unanswered. And now? Now there was a chance that Alexandria could be pregnant. She could possibly be with child. Could he have a child like that around Johnny? John felt the panic race up his spine and clench around his heart. Was there anything that could be done?

Yet, by god, he did love her. The people that truly knew her loved her. It was only in their shared bed that she was anything but a proper lady.

After the concert, they didn’t socialize like normal. They simply left. Once in the carriage, they even sat on separate sides. Alex knew that John was angry about something and she could feel that it was in regards to her. What it could be, she had no idea.

“John? Have I angered you somehow?”

“Not now Alexandria.”

Against her nature, she held her tongue. There was something in John Thornton’s eyes that made her wary.

When they entered the large home, Hannah was still awake. Smiling, Alexandria kissed her mother-in-law’s cheek.

“Good night Mother Thornton.”

Hannah immediately noticed the hurt in Alexandria’s eyes. Had they quarreled? Waiting until Alexandria was gone, she asked her son what had happened. “Did you and Alexandria quarrel John?”

“No Mother.” It was true. They hadn’t fought. “Good night.” John walked away, heading back to his set of rooms.

Hannah frowned. Something was very wrong between the newlyweds.

Sitting at the vanity in her dressing room, Alex unpinned her hair. Her maid already came in and helped her out of the corset and dress. Dressing for bed, she picked out a thin cotton shift that reached to the ankle. The material was of the finest of cottons and yet so thin that it was nearly transparent. Her body was shadowed beneath the gauzy material.

All of the jewelry she wore was removed and placed in her jewelry box, save for her wedding ring. That only would come off during surgeries. Even then, Alex would wear it on a thin chain around her throat. Standing, she bent at the waist to shake her curly hair out. Running fingers through her thick locks to untangle the extravagant style of earlier, she felt exhausted. More so than normal with her husband’s odd behavior.

Walking in to the shared bed chambers, she didn’t see John right away. Too tired to think much about anything, she walked around to her side of the vast bed. John had been standing close, staring out the window.

“Put proper clothing on Alexandria. You look like a harlot.”

“Pardon me?” There was no way she had heard him correctly, was there?

Turning towards his wife, his expression was one of anger. “Put on proper clothing. I will not have you looking like that.”

“You purchased this for me and I am not supposed to wear it?”

He took two steps towards her. It made it so they were nose to nose. “You are to obey me wife. Do you not remember the vows you took just a week ago?”

“What is wrong with you John?”

In an instant, John grabbed the neckline of her gown and ripped it downwards. One hand went around her neck as he whispered in her ear. “Are you trying to make me the laughing stock of Milton? Do you think that the other masters don’t know what sort of woman I have married?” His hand squeezed her neck tighter. The other cupped her exposed breast, stroking the hard nipple gently. “Do you want me to treat you as you appear to others Alexandria?”

Roughly, he captured her in his arms. His lips touched her’s in a feather kiss. “I love you. I wish I didn’t but I do.”

Confused, Alexandria pulled away from him. There was hurt in her eyes and she moved away from him. There was a crackle in the air and she could feel the hairs on the nape of her neck rise. With a shake of her head, she turned and walked away. The torn nightgown was tossed into the fire as she walked past.

“I have no idea what has gotten into you John Thornton, but I am willing to hazard a guess that one of the mill masters said something ugly in regards to me. I cannot help that I am taller than they are. I cannot help how I look. I hope you recognize that it is most likely jealousy on their part rather than something I have done.” She paused, opening the door to her dressing room, she looked back over her shoulder. “Remember, it was you that chased me. I remained a respectful distance from you, as was proper. I love you John Thornton, but I shall not be treated like this. I will not permit you to make me feel horrible about myself. Good night.”

Alexandria closed the door behind her. Since she was not going to be in their bed chambers, she slipped into a more proper nightgown. Carrying the dressing gown with her, she went to the nursery to sleep.

John stared at the closed door for a long while. He felt like a man split into parts. The boy that wanted nothing more than to study the classics and be with his classmates was there. He felt the sorrow of leaving school to become the man of his family at 14. He felt the acute pain of being a new master who still ached for the approval of his colleagues.

His true self wanted to run after his wife and beg her forgiveness. He had lashed out intentionally at her. He had wanted Alexandria to feel what he did, pain. John knew he was better than his actions.

The worst part of him, the part that believed the words of others made a difference, was simply angry. Why couldn’t she be both the wife he wanted and needed. Why did she have to be so damned different than the others?

John Thornton, Master of Marlborough Mills, never asked the most important question of all. Why did he expect her to change for him when he wasn’t willing to change for her?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

If anyone noticed the change in sleeping arrangements between husband and wife, nothing was said. John and Alexandria were cordial to each other, but nothing more. Their marital bliss lasted less than a week.  Alexandria still worked and spent the rest of her time with Hannah and Johnny. Most any time spent with John was during the family meals.  Their lives ceased to include each other in any major way.

Johnny was growing by leaps and bounds. Unlike many of the parents of the upper class, Johnny was raised by his parents with help from his grandmother. They didn’t hire out a nanny for him. The rumors that floated around were that the Thornton’s lacked the funds. That wasn’t true in the least. Alexandria enjoyed having the boy around and made sure he knew he was very much loved.  She knew the dangers first hand of having workaholic parents and was not going to make that mistake with Johnny.

While she and John both worked, Johnny met with tutors. Alex also tutored him in areas of knowledge that he wouldn’t have access to in his lifetime.

It was a dreary and cold Thursday morning and the chatter of the workers had upset Alex. Apparently Fanny Watson nee Thornton had been seen in town the day before. She was looking ragged and worn, sickly even. If the workers noticed, that meant others would have too.  

Frowning, she told Annabelle, that she would be gone for a while. If she was needed, have anything that was an emergency to go to Dr. Shanks. Taking her medical bag, Alexandria went to get her heavier wrap from the house.

Hannah Thornton was doing some mending when she saw Alexandria come in.

“Alexandria! Is anything wrong?”

Hesitating, Alex sighed. She answered truthfully. “I am not sure. I have heard some reports that Fanny is ill and I wished to check on her. I just needed my wrap.”

Hannah stood at once. “Very well. I shall accompany you then.”

“Mother Thornton, there is no – “ The words fell away from Alex’s lips. Realizing that if it had been Johnny in a similar situation nothing would have kept her away.

“Does John know?”

“Not to my knowledge. I didn’t wish to worry him if it was nothing.”

“Good.”

The pair took a cab over to the Watson home. Neither woman wished to wait for the private coach to be brought around. Paying handsomely for the carriage, the driver was to stay there until they said otherwise. There was a sinking feeling in Alex’s stomach. When the door wasn’t answered, she shrugged at her mother-in-law and let them in herself.

The house was a fright. Neither Alexandria nor Hannah cared for the overly ornate style that Fanny kept her home in, but it was never a mess. Hannah called out several time for her daughter and son-in-law. There was an eerie silence in the air. There wasn’t even the sounds of servants.  

Finally, Alexandria found proof of life in the office of Mr. Watson. He was passed out drunk. His face covered in scratches was a surprise, but the bruised and bloody knuckles even more so. Casting a glance around, Alex found Fanny hiding in a corner. Finger to her lips, she motioned for Hannah to stay silent. Hand over Fanny’s mouth she woke the battered woman. Shushing her the same way, Alex helped Fanny up.

“Mother, get Fanny outside and into the cab please? I will be behind you shortly.”

Heading upstairs and to Fanny’s quarters, Alex didn’t bother with clothing. Instead, she packed up anything of worth, such as jewelry. Heading into Watson’s quarters she did the same thing. She didn’t know what financial situation Watson was in but Alex was going to protect Fanny as best she knew. The carpet bag was heavy as Alexandria came down the stairs. She heard before actually seeing Watson standing in the doorway of his office bellowing out Fanny’s name.

“She’s gone Mr. Watson. I have seen to that.”

“You sow!” He swung around at the sound of Alexandria’s voice, nearly falling over.

Alexandria had fixed up many women and children in her years as a surgeon due to abuse. This was nothing new to her. She kept walking. Unsteadily, Watson tried to grab her and managed to grasp Alex’s shoulder.

He pulled her back and fired a shot of his fist against her cheek. His ring cut her face, slicing the skin neatly. The blood was already flowing freely, dripping down on to her white blouse. Besides the cut, the painful strike would leave a bruise. Unconcerned with either, she simply smashed the heel of her hand upwards against his nose. Feeling the snap and watching the drunken man crumple to the floor, she kept walking to the waiting cab. There was a chance that she had killed him, although it was unlikely. She didn’t care.

Alexandria looked perfectly calm as she climbed back in with her mother-in-law and sister-in-law. Truthfully, she was anything but. While she would never call herself and Fanny friends, she also didn’t want anything to happen to her sister-in-law. Taking a bandage out of the bag, she got the bleeding to stop on her cheek. Yet, it wasn’t before the blood had stained her blouse and skirt.

“Mother Thornton? I will get Fanny into the clinic where I can care for her. Would you please get John?”

Hannah, frowning, nodded.

When they were almost to the mill, Alex took off her wrap and placed it around Fanny. She pulled the hood up to hide her from prying eyes. It took a bit of time, but finally she got Fanny and the bag out and helped Mrs. Thornton as well. Giving a pat to the horses, Alex paid for the driver’s services.

Taking Fanny to one of the private rooms, she set the bag of valuables down. The other bag, Hannah Thornton had.

“Annabelle? Bring me a lady’s gown and dressing gown please?”

The girl brought both immediately while Alex herself was heating water. Two large bowls of hot water and dozens of cloths, Alexandria sat down with Fanny and began to clean her up to survey the damage. Her sister-in-law was in shock. The stench was horrible. Between infected sores and unwashed skin, Fanny Thornton was nothing like the woman Alexandria had originally met.

It was worse than she ever thought. Apparently Watson had been beating the younger woman for months. At first it was done so it wouldn’t show. Sometime later he forgot caring about hiding the bruises and hit her as he felt. If she had access to an x-ray Alexandria would be horrified at what she would have found.

Turning at the knock on the door, she asked softly. “Who is it?”

“It’s me.”

John. He didn’t need to see this. “I’ll be right out.”

Alex slid out and sent Annabelle in. Neither mother nor brother needed to see the full extent of what Fanny had endured.

“Annabelle we will be in my office if you need us.”

Hearing the yes Doctor, she motioned Hannah and John in. Leaning back against the desk, Alexandria sighed with resignation.

“It’s bad. It’s very bad.”

“What do you mean Alexandria?” John asked softly.

“There isn’t hardly a spot on her that isn’t bruised.”

Standing up abruptly, Thornton scowled. “I’ll bloody well kill him!”

Hannah set her jaw tight. To virtually anyone else, Hannah Thornton looked like steel, John and Alex knew she was trying not to let a single tear escape. Sitting next to her mother-in-law, Alex wrapped her arms around her. “John, please calm down.”

“You expect me to be calm?!”

“I expect you not to get yourself in trouble with the law. You are a magistrate, after all. When we left, Watson was unconscious.” She snapped

“Did he drink himself to death?” The words were quiet in Thornton’s anger.

“No. Not that I know of. I broke his nose after he hit me.”

John saw it then. Alex had kept her head turned so as he would not notice the bruise. Down the side of her face, from hairline to jaw, there was a dark forming bruise with a small cut in the center. He reached to touch it gently. When Alex didn’t flinch, his heart ached. So much made sense all of a sudden. While he had never hit Alexandria, his actions were just as abusive.

“I need to get back with Fanny.” She took her leave of her family.

Alex finished tending to the cuts, bruises and burns. She had set up an IV to help replenish the younger woman’s bruised and broken body. Yet, Fanny was still in shock. So she set about another exam, fearing the worst. It was the worst that she found. Fanny was bleeding internally. From the bruising pattern, she was guessing a ruptured spleen but without a CT scan she had no way of being positive. Alex also was afraid that she was pregnant and very unsure of the fetus was still living. Fanny was so weak, that she didn’t have a chance of surviving the blood loss let alone the surgery.

Fanny Thornton succumbed to her injuries within 36 hours of being brought to the clinic. It was less than two days later than her husband died as well. John was furious with Alexandria that she wouldn’t allow him to be present, as was his right as magistrate, to either of the autopsies. Fanny indeed was pregnant, but appeared to have lost the baby before she had been brought back to Marlborough Mills. She died as a result of her injuries and infection.

Watson, on the other hand, had died of liver failure. Apparently, his drinking had been a long hidden secret. The one bit of revenge John had was to not pay for the funeral of his brother-in-law. Watson, once a very wealthy man, was buried in a pauper’s grave. Fanny was buried in the family plot.

While they had been cordial to each other before, after the funeral, John’s anger kept lashing out at Alexandria. She let him rant and rave until he was spent. She knew the reason behind his anger. John had permitted Watson to marry his sister. He blamed himself for her death.

Their last row had been so horrible that Alex spent the next two nights in the new clinic. She wasn’t willing to even stay in the same house. Her heart was heavy. It wasn’t for herself. She wasn’t even angry over John’s behavior, but enough was enough. Living for nearly three months with his constant sniping, it needed to end now.

Telling Hannah Thornton of the plan, so that John would be surprised AND to keep her and Johnny out of the battle, was her first step. She gathered up a few items that she may need, and waited.

The master chambers of the Thornton household was dark and quiet. Only a fire had been lit. Alexandria kept to the shadows. She was behind and to the side of her husband when he lit a candle. Locking the door behind him, she stood there. Her lovely face was etched with defiance and her arms were crossed at her chest. Alex knew that John would never raise a hand to her, even if he did – she could take him down easily. He could fight but John wasn’t a brawler. Alex was.

Predictably, he started to pick a fight with her over some nonsense reason.

“Are you done?”

“What sort of question is that Alexandria?”

“Are you bloody well done beating me up so you can beat some sense into your own damned head?”

“Leave this room Alexandria. You need not be here. I will not be spoken to as such.”

“This is my home too John Thornton. I will have my say, whether you like it or not.”

The scowl on Thornton’s face would have frightened anyone else. While John might not remember it, he assessed her well months ago. There was very little that frightened Alexandria.

“Yes, your sister is dead. We all know this. We all also know that you are beating yourself up over it because you are the one that permitted the marriage John.”

If he was a different man, her words would have brought him to violence. Instead he turned to the door to leave.

“Not so fast Thornton. I have the key.” Alex dangled it from her fingertips. “We finish this here and now.”

“Let me out Alexandria.”

“I decline.” He was only an inch or so taller than she and Alex used the height to her advantage. “You want to take this out on someone? Take it out on me. Believe me John, I will go round for round with you in a fight. Show me what sort of man you are. You want to beat the hell out of someone? Well, that someone will have to be me.”

John shoved her and shoved her hard, trying to get at the key. She managed to keep it away.

“You want to believe this is your fault so badly that you are forgetting one very important thing. You are not at fault. The fault lies SOLELY on Watson for being a foul man. But what happened has NOTHING to do with you.”

He pushed her again, trying to make her back down. Alex wasn’t the sort that backed down. Ever.

John slapped her across the face in a moment of rage.

Alexandria spat blood at him. Her lip was split from the blow. With fury alight in her silvery gray eyes, Alex took two steps forward. Her voice was soft and deadly calm. “Well, I suppose now I can tell our child that every single one of the mill masters of Milton have tried to take advantage in some way of their mother, how lovely.” She wiped the blood from her chin. “Touch me again and I swear it here and now that will be the last time you ever dare do such John Thornton.” She didn’t back away even when she saw him cringe. Every fiber in her being was telling Alex to return the blow. She kept it at bay, somehow. Although he if tried again, he would need medical attention from another doctor.

“You saw it in me John. When you reached for my cheek, I didn’t flinch away. I know all too well how pain works. I know how to take pain better than most people. Since you have never asked about my life before you, how about we talk about that now? I was engaged at a far too young age to a man I loved with my entirety. I had just graduated from medical school and so did he. Because of me being nearly 10 years younger than he, we had not gotten married nor had we had sex.

That is how I lost my virginity to a man I loved.  He was a good man, until he wasn’t. It was NOT him that hurt me. He was ill and wasn’t willing to have a doctor check him out. After all, WE were doctors. WE should have known. My first experience with a man was rape.

The question you haven’t had the guts to ask me? How do I know what I do? We also loved each other. He showed me what love was. I was willing to go that route with him because I hoped and prayed that something would work. I hoped that there was a treatment that would make it all go away and we could live happily together for the rest of our lives. But it didn’t happen like I wanted. He died of a brain tumor and a little part of me died with him. THAT is why not another man touched me until you John Thornton. I didn’t stop loving him even though he took my virginity without me wanting to give it up. The man that was supposed to be my husband raped me and then he beat me senseless.

I just wanted him to live and be happy. I wanted to find that cure for him, but I was unable. There was no solution that I could have provided. Alcohol was Watson’s tumor. It changed him. It didn’t change if Fanny loved him. If you want what happened to change you, by all means that is your choice. It won’t make me stop loving you. No matter how hard you try to push me away. So if you wish to fight me, do it now. If you wish to hit me again, then do so. I am not backing down from your idiotic behavior. I refuse to lose you John Thornton!!” She spat.

He glared at her. He wanted to slap her across her insolent mouth once more. But he didn’t. He couldn’t. They had been at odds for so long. Still, the woman he called his wife stood there fighting with him. It took John a moment to realize that she wasn’t fighting with him. She was fighting for him.

So many of their previous conversations tumbled through his mind. There was one in particular that pulled him. He was Johnny’s model in life. How would Johnny feel seeing this was the way John was treating the only woman he ever knew as a mother?

It was only then he noticed what she said minutes before. Child. Tell our child. Was she pregnant already? John swayed for a moment and then sat down heavily onto the floor. He couldn’t look at her. He had been so worried about her behavior that he didn’t recognize his as being horrible. Nary a sound did he make, but the tears streamed down his cheeks.

Sliding down to sit on the floor, Alex put her arms around him and just let him weep. She knew her husband well. It wasn’t just Fanny he cried for. He mourned for his life. The death of a father, having to be the head of a family and work so hard at such a young age. The near loss of his beloved mill, the loss of Margaret. What happened to Fanny just made everything worse. She knew that John felt that all of it from his father’s suicide until now was his own fault.

What she didn’t understand was when he was learning the truth about Alexandria, it tore something in him even further. He had always had to be so strong, in so many different ways. He was never permitted to show what he, and others of his time, considered weakness. He had never hit a woman in his life and the fact he was no better than her former lover or his murderous brother-in-law? It was devastating.

John Thornton had prided himself on being a good man. He no longer was able to look at himself in such a fashion.

Saying nothing, Alex stroked her hand through his hair and caressed his strong back. Finally, he quieted. Still she spoke not a word. With his head in her lap, John fell into a deep sleep. She let him stay there. The adrenaline rush that hit her fast earlier dissipated just as quickly. It made her sick to her stomach, but she didn’t move other than reach a hand up and pull one of the blankets from what was once their bed, Alex covered her husband with the blanket.

Hours had passed. The fire was out and so were the candles when John woke once more.

“Alexandria?”

She moved her hand, as it was still in his hair. “I’m right here John.”

“You’ve been right here this entire time?”

“Yes.”

“I’m so very sorry.” His voice sounded mournful.

“Don’t.”

“I hurt you.”

“Yes, you did.”

“Alexandria, it shall never happen again. Please, do not leave me. I beg your forgiveness.”

“I love you John. You ever hit me again? It will be the last thing you ever do. I swear to you on my own life.”

John Thornton stayed there for a while, reflecting. His father, Margaret, now Fanny had left him. He blamed himself for all three. He selfishly wanted to stay in school before his father committed suicide. He had no idea that the money was gone. Margaret, dear sweet Margaret, she died because of carrying his child. Now Fanny. Alexandria tried to warn him. He didn’t listen. He could have done something, anything, to have saved Fanny – but he didn’t. Now, he was no better than Watson.

He desperately wanted to ask if she was pregnant, but was terrified to.

He stood, pulling Alex up with him. John buried his face against her neck, breathing in her scent. He wanted nothing more to take his wife to their bed and hold her tight. After preparing the fire for the night, that’s just what he did.  

When Alexandria woke the next morning, John was still sleeping. She dressed for the day but only went as far as the dining room. She asked one of the maids to prepare a light breakfast for John and then sat with Hannah to have her own.

“Alexandria, what happened last night?”

“We fought. He is still sleeping.”

“He did that to you?”

“Yes.”

“What did you do in return?”

Swallowing her tea, Alex looked to her mother-in-law. “I made sure he would never do it again.”

“How?”

“It doesn’t matter Mother.”

 “Are you injured further?”

“No. Well, my pride.” She smiled sadly. “Mother Thornton, I am very sorry all of the problems I have caused in your household. It was never ever my desire to bring this sort of strife in.”

“You are not at fault.” Hannah squeezed her hand gently. “This is on John’s shoulders.”

Squeezing her mother-in-law’s hand back, Alex nodded. “I best go take care of him.”

“Did you hurt him?”

“Only his pride. We are even.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	15. Chapter 15

There was a change in John after the physical fight he had with his wife. Still horrified by his actions, it made him take extreme care with everyone around him. This went especially for Alexandria. There was a sadness to her that he had never seen before. His laughing, smiling wife had aged with the fight somewhere deep inside.  No longer did she smile or laugh as spontaneously as she once did. There was one single exception, which was with Johnny.

The heavy wet snow kept most everyone inside after church one Sunday. John was sitting reading a book, Hannah Thornton was working on needlepoint, and Alexandria and Johnny were sitting by John’s feet stringing popcorn together for the Christmas tree. The red ribbons were already tied to the branches and small ornaments were hung with care.

“Mama?”

“Yes my boy?”

“May we go work on Christmas presents when we are done with the popcorn?”

“But of course.”

“Thank you.”

John and his mother shared a smile, watching Alexandria and Johnny. While both Hannah and John were welcome to share in the creating of the festivities, Johnny had asked his father to allow him and his new mum to do most of it. It would be their first family Christmas.

Pine cones and pine boughs were set up around the home, tied with ribbons of red and gold. Baskets of oranges pierced with clove were also found. Johnny and Alex made wreaths for the doors. She taught him how to sew so they made little ornaments for the tree.

Having started making items months ago, there was a pile of wrapped presents for the mill hands and their children. Quilts, cold weather wear, little toys, were wrapped and color coded for ages. On Christmas Eve, the entire mill and their families would be fed a hearty luncheon and paid for a full day of work.

Johnny made his grandmother lavender sachets and helped Alex wrap them. For his father, who was always reading, Johnny learned to make paper. With Alex’s helping hand the pieces were trimmed and bound. Johnny wrote stories for his father in his careful penmanship and with the help of Alex once more, illustrated them as well.

As it was almost time for supper, John went to tell Alexandria that they needed to finish up. He heard their conversation from around the corner. John was unable to bring himself to disturb his wife and son. Hannah, wondering what was taking the rest of the family so long, went after her son. He stopped his mother to listen.

“Mama, what do you want for Christmas?”

“I want for nothing. I have my son, you. I have my husband, your father. I have my mother, Mother Thornton.” The smile that curved a pretty mouth upwards told the rest of the story, what Alexandria said was genuine.

“You really don’t want anything?”

“My sweet sweet son, all that I want is for your father, grandmother and you to have the happiest Christmas ever.”

The five year old looked at her quizzically. “Am I really your son?”

“What do you mean Johnny?”

“I didn’t come from your belly. So are you really my mama?”

Alex picked the boy up and sat him on her lap. Kissing the top of his head, she smiled. “You are correct. You didn’t come from my belly, but as long as you want me to be your mama, I will be. I love you with all my heart John Thornton. You are my son and you always will be.”

Johnny turned around and threw his arms around Alexandria’s neck. She hugged him tight. Trying to hide her own tears, she suggested they start to pick up. It would be dinner time soon.

Neither John nor Hannah Thornton wished to interrupt the private moment that they witnessed. Mother and son went back to the sitting room and waited for Alex and Johnny.

Dinner was a quiet but happy occasion. When finished, once again they retired to the sitting room. Hannah read a Christmas tale to the family. Seeing Johnny start to yawn towards the end of the story, both his Mother and Father tucked him in with a short tale told from Alexandria’s heart. 

The three adults basked in the warm glow of the fire. While snow still fell outside, they were warm and content with each other’s company. Hannah Thornton looked to her son and daughter-in-law. They were both were relaxed with each other and with her. She mused about John’s first wife.

The pain that Margaret Hale caused John was hard to forget. They had never been close because of it. It wasn’t that she disliked Margaret once she and John married. Hannah never trusted the young woman because of the hurt she caused John with her silly notions. Hannah acknowledged that it was her own bias against the girl. While Alexandria carried herself in a similar fashion, appearing haughty and aloof. The two women were completely different. Margaret was very much a lady. She wasn’t afraid of work, but it wasn’t part of her nature to work. It was something she had to learn. Alexandria had a work ethic that was not dissimilar to what Hannah instilled in John.

Maybe it was because that John and Alexandria were older, Hannah wasn’t sure. Alexandria had the strange desire to make people’s lives better that Margaret had. Yet, it was very different in how the women proceeded to do so. Alexandria was more concerned with teaching a person to do for themselves rather than doing it for them. Hannah wasn’t pleased with her comparison of the two women. It wasn’t fair to her living daughter-in-law, even when it was in Alexandria’s favor. Hannah still was concerned about John comparing his late wife and his current. She could see it in him upon occasion and knew that John favored Margaret instead.

Hannah Thornton enjoyed Alexandria’s company. She didn’t worry over silly or selfish things that Margaret often did. Margaret was often an uninformed silly slip of a girl. Alexandria was not only intelligent, but wise. There was a certain calmness with her daughter-in-law that she also appreciated.

Shaking the thought away, the servants were called for the nightly prayer. When prayers were done, John and Alex bade Hannah a good night with each giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Shall we retire as well?” John smiled at his wife.

“Yes, I rather like that idea.”

Walking together to their bed chambers, Alexandria no longer asked for a maid to help her undress. John took upon that duty himself, of course she was more than happy to reciprocate. John pulled her tight to him before Alex had a chance to help him disrobe. Large hands cupped the roundness of her bottom, squeezing. His fingers danced up and down the groove, teasing against the tight star.

“You do like teasing me there.” A soft chuckle was but a whisper.

“Where love?”

When his fingers slid across it again, she pushed back against his hands. “Right. There.”

“Alexandria!”

“You have never thought of it?”

“Of course not!”

“Why?”

She began to remove his clothing, going ever so slowly.

“Mmmmm now you are, aren’t you? Thinking how good it would feel. It would be so nice and tight.”

“Alexandria Thornton.” John’s voice held a warning.

 “You are thinking about it. You are hard as a rock. Possibly harder.”

Lips brushed against a stern brow. With breasts crushed against his broad chest, her delicate hand stroked against the throbbing erection. Pulling away suddenly, she walked over to his grooming kit. Ever step she took, she made certain that his eyes were on her backside.  A bottle of oil, John occasionally used in his hair, was then placed in his hand.

“No. Alexandria. This is immoral, sinful.

“Loving your wife is wrong?” She cocked her head to the side.

“No.”

“Try it John. You have had every part of me. Take this last part, if you don’t like it I shall never ask again.”

“Why did you give me the oil?”

“It will make it more….. comfortable. A tiny bit is all that is needed. Just massage it into me.”

The smattering of fear and apprehension in John’s lovely blue eyes didn’t go unnoticed, nor did the lust.

“There is no shame in loving your wife in any way feasible. I will enjoy it as well as you.”

John grunted his acknowledgement.                            

Taking his hands and placing them at slim hips, she bent over his desk with legs spread. Back arched, exposing firm buttocks and more. John groaned softly. She wanted this, she wanted him. The desire was plain to see. Such a temptation it was to see her so very wet and ready.

Yes, he heard the tales from other men but it was something John never tried. The others sought out whores for such pleasures rather than their wives or even mistresses, and they paid the women handsomely to do so. No lady would ever allow for such to be done to her. Now here his wife was, begging for him to take her in the way that would frighten most any woman in their social set.

Granted, Alexandria was like no woman he had ever met in his life. She encouraged his passions and met them with her own. He could be rough as he wished and she loved him for it. He never had to temper down his lusts. He had been so afraid of hurting or even harming her in the beginning! Seeing his wife like this was something most men could only dream of. Here it was given freely. 

“By god. You are beautiful my Alexandria.” The words were barely a whisper.

Doing as directed with the oil. The tip of his finger slid in. He could feel the ring of muscle constrict and imagined how it would feel around him.

“Go slow John. Just enjoy yourself.”

His heart was beating fast. Fear and lust collided in his chest. Holding on, he pushed the head of his cock into her. Alexandria gasped and then whimpered softly.

He was hurting her!

“Just stay like that. It’s okay. Let me get used to you.”

Feeling her relax, John slid in deeper. Another whimper brought another pause. It was like a game of sorts. Finally, he was fully inside. Alex pushed back against him, wriggling her hips to grind against him. John took the hint and moved slowly at first.

“Harder, please my love. Please.” Alex pleaded with her husband for more.

More than happy to acquiesce to her demands, John thrust harder. It was like nothing he ever felt before. Strong hands, gripped tight on her hips. Gliding in and out over and over. God, she was so tight. It felt so good. So right. Already, he was fighting back the urge to release his pleasure deep into his beloved wife.

Every time he drove into Alex deeply, his testicles hit her sex. She was wet, so very wet. The flood of wetness coated her thighs even. He could barely concentrate.  He slammed into Alexandria over and over. The little cries of pleasures made his already thick cock, harder and thicker. When she came, it was a flood. Her body gripped his manhood tight. A ripple of muscle raced up him to his very core. With a roar of unexpected thunder, he lost himself within her. He had never had an orgasm that powerful before. Hands dug into her hips, marking the flesh. For a moment, John felt that it would never stop and he didn’t wish for it to. Finally with one last spasm, he was exhausted. Laying across Alexandria’s back, John tried to catch his breath. Still buried to the hilt within her, he couldn’t think.

Pulling back, John looked to his wife in a daze. With a cloth, she cleaned them both up and tossed the cloth into the fire.

“John? Are you alright?”

“I didn’t hurt you did I?”

“Not in the least.”

Wrapping Alexandria up in his arms, he squeezed her tight.

“I shall never doubt you again.”

He took his wife to their bed and curled up with her. Something nicked at his heart. He remembered all the times before the fight. When John would squeeze she was laugh happily. That sound was gone now.

“John?” Alex turned to look at him.

“Yes?”

“The love shared between a husband and a wife is never dirty, sinful, or wrong. Please do not think that way about us.”

“We have been married less than a year and you have shown me so many different things. I am not the same man I was prior to you my dearest wife.”

“Does that bother you?”

“Not in the least. I am truly blessed to have found you.”

“I am the one that is blessed John Thornton. You are a man far above others.”

John laughed softly and shook his head. “No my darling, I am not. You are biased but I am happy with your bias.”

They slid beneath the warm blankets on the bed. Tugging his wife closer, he wrapped her in his embrace.

“Alexandria?”

She wiggled closer to him, smiling sleepily. “Hm?”

“I’m sorry.”

“What for?”

“I have not been good to you.”

“What has brought this on?” She turned to face him.

“It’s true.”

“We have had our problems John. Everyone does.”

“From the day I met you, I have not been a good man to you.”

“What is bringing this up?” She stroked her fingers across his brow.

“It’s true.”

“That doesn’t tell me what you are thinking.”

“I saw you with Johnny today.”

“I don’t understand. We were all together most of the day.”

“He asked you if you were his mother and you said yes.”

“Well, I am.”

“Alexandria, most women that marry a widower will try to shun children from a previous marriage. You have never done that. You take better care of him than most women do their own flesh and blood.”

“John, I thought you realized long ago that I am not most women.” Well, not in the 19th century at least.

“I have done damn near everything I could to push you away, hurt you, everything else. Still you are here with me. You take care of my son. You care for my mother. I don’t deserve you.”

“John, he is our son. End of that discussion.” While her tone was gentle, Alex stood firm on that issue. “I care for your mother because I care about your mother. As for you, you are correct. You do not deserve me. Nor have I done anything to deserve some of your treatment of me. Yet, I still love you. I will do anything in my power to make you or try to make you, as the case may be, happy. I know you will mourn Margaret with your dying breath. I accepted that when I accepted your marriage proposal.”

“I’m so very sorry my Alexandria. Please know, I do love you. I love you more than I care to admit. Yet, I am a foolish man.”

“Yes you are.” She kissed John’s lips. “And yet you are my foolish man. Sleep John. We shall weather the storms together.”

_I hope._

 

 

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

On the night of Christmas Eve, Hannah Thornton read to her family and servants the story of Jesus being born in a manger. A crackle from the fireplace made each and every one in the large home grateful for something. Tomorrow morning the presents would be opened, the sweets tasted and all would settle down to a large Christmas dinner of roast beef.

Johnny Thornton was sitting between his parents listening aptly to his grandmother tell the tale of the very first Christmas. Alexandria had made up the stockings the rest of the family knew nothing about. She would sneak out and place them near the fireplace when she had a chance to do so. Warm and happy, Alex’s mind drifted to the day’s events.

Marlborough Mills had a wonderful Christmas Eve celebration for the workers and their families. Most of the workers brought something with them to go along with the turkey, potatoes, stuffing and sweets that Alexandria and John had provided.

Most of the workers knew Alexandria between the mill and the clinic. They all joined in teasing her and their Master. Higgins, however, simply watched the others. When the lady doctor had a moment of refuge, he approached her quietly.

“Doc, if I may have a word with ya?”

“Of course Mr. Higgins what can I do for you?”

“I wanted to thank ya.”

“Whatever for?”

“The Master and I go back a ways. When Miss Mar’get left Milton, he was a heartbroken man. When she came back ‘wit him, he was so alive. They loved each other. It broke all our hearts when Miss Mar’get passed on. Don’t think I saw the Master smile or laugh for over four years. He’s happy again. Thank you for taking care of him.”

Tears pricked Alexandria’s eyes. “Thank you Mr. Higgins. I love him dearly. Thank you.”

Higgins brushed the thanks off and started to laugh. “Looks like the Master is lookin’ for ye ma’am.”

“Uh-oh. I may be in trouble.” Smiling happily, she waved to her husband.

Johnny and John Thornton, having found Alexandria, walked over to where she and Higgins were standing.

Johnny ran up to his mother and gave her a tight hug. Alexandria dropped a warm kiss on the top of his head.

“Mr. Higgins!” Johnny solemnly shook the man’s hand before running off to play with some of the Boucher children.

“Enjoying yourself Higgins?” John shook his friend’s hand.

“Aye Master. Yersself?”

“Best Christmas I have had in a long time.” John said softly, looking to his wife.

Alexandria was startled back from the reverie when Hannah closed the Bible. She saw that Johnny was dozing off. Smiling, Grandmother, Father, and Mother took him to bed. He was too sleepy for a story so each one of them kissed his smooth brow good night. Alexandria paused to place the stuffed bunny she had made for him on the bed. Within a few moments, he was sound asleep.

Tomorrow would be a busy day, so the three adults said good night and retired to their own beds.

John and Alexandria were preparing for bed when she stood behind him with her hands on his waist. Soft lips just barely touched the curve of his ear when she whispered.

“I have a special present for you my handsome love.”

“I rather like the sound of that.”

Sitting primly on the edge of the bed, Alexandria wore her dressing gown. There was a small wrapped package next to her.

“I thought I was getting you for my special present.” John sat next to his wife.

“You get this one first and that one next.”

Inside was a small drawing, framed, it was maybe 8 inches square. In the picture was John, Hannah, Johnny, and Alexandria. Alexandria was holding something on her lap. John shook his head, not understanding.

“Who did you have do this? It’s a lovely picture.”

“I did it.”

“I didn’t know you could draw.” How much do I not know about my own wife?

“I’m not the greatest nor the worst but if you look at drawing again there is something for you to notice.”

John did finally notice and laughed. “Planning our future already?”

“Not that far into the future actually.”

“Alexandria, do you mean that….”

“You will be a father again come August.” She smiled softly

“How long have you known?”

“A bit.”

“Why did you wait to tell me?”

Saying nothing, she merely looked at her husband. He understood immediately. Still, the thought of a child! John Thornton, the often dour and scowling Master of Marlborough Mills let out a loud WHOOOP! Pulling Alexandria up, he spun her around happily. When he stopped, John’s hands threaded through her dark hair. He gazed into his wife’s eyes with the wonderment he felt.

Having always wanted more children, he had given up all hopes of having more when Margaret passed. It had been mentioned a couple of times with Alex. He just never really thought about it fully.

 There was a loud knock on the door, all the way from her rooms Hannah Thornton had her John’s whoop.

“John! Alexandria?! What’s wrong??”

“Good thing we aren’t frolicking around naked just yet.” He whispered. The look of his once carefree boyhood sparkled in his eyes. Opening the door, John looked to his mother with a smile. “Nothing at all. Everything is perfect.

“What on earth was that noise?” Hannah still looked frightened. Even her grandson knew better than to be that loud.

“I will be a father again come summer.” John stood proud while he smiled happily.

“You are certain?” Hannah asked Alex.

“Yes. I’m thinking around mid-August.”

Hugging both her son and daughter-in-law, Hannah gave her slight smile at the pair. “I am looking forward to having a new baby in the house. Congratulations.”

“Thank you Mother Thornton.”

“Thank you Mother.”

Hannah left the parents to their excitement.

They finally were able to lay in bed, comfortable together. John’s strong hands danced across her still flat belly, as if waiting for the baby to kick. Alex put her hand over his. She was content.

“I think since _knowing_ you, I have spent more time naked than all my other years put together.”

“Is this a complaint?” She teased. “I am sure I can find more layers to put on my body to keep you wanting anything more.”

“I will burn your petticoats if you even think about that!”

Alex laid a hand to John’s cheek. “My sweet John, oh how I love you so.”

Suddenly, John looked out of sorts. “I will miss making love to you.”

“Sweetheart, it’s a long ways off before that has to happen.”

“Alexandria you don’t understand.”

Looking utterly confused, her brow furrowed.

With his voice sounding despondent, John spoke in low tones. “Margaret’s death was my fault.” He couldn’t look her in the eyes. “I couldn’t curb my lust filled urges. She didn’t wish to……..for fear of the baby. Instead, I killed her.”

“You mean you two had sex?”

“Yes. Right up until a month before she gave birth. Then, she was gone shortly after Johnny was born.”

“Sweetheart, as long as the mother isn’t gravely ill, it’s perfectly fine to make love up until the final weeks. Her passing away after giving birth, is not your fault.”

John Thornton, in his shame, turned away from his wife. He sat on the edge of the bed. It looked like he was about to go to a different room at any minute. While John was stubborn, Alexandria was even more so. Her father often said that she could out stubborn a mule. Climbing out of bed and going around to the other side, she knelt at his feet.

“Look at me John.” She took his hands into her own.

For a few heartbeats he just could not do so. When John finally did, his eyes were wet with tears.

“Let’s start from the beginning okay? I may ask some embarrassing questions. I don’t mean to embarrass you. I need some help filling in the blanks.” Alex climbed on the bed beside him, pressed close. “Did Margaret enjoy sex?”

“Not really. Other than our honeymoon, I often had to cajole her into it. Alexandria, I never forced her. Please know that.”

Kissing his lips tenderly, she smiled. “I know you better than that. So how often did it happen?”

“No more than a couple of times a month. After she found out she was pregnant, it was once a month. She told me it is bad for the baby.”

Stroking the back of her knuckles against his cheek, she smiled gently. “If it was so bad for the baby, there would be a lot fewer births than there are now. Did she have any health problems? Was she sick a lot throughout the pregnancy?”

“None that I know of. Just at the very beginning.”

“John, you did nothing wrong. Sometimes things happen during the birthing process or afterwards.”

“I got her pregnant.”

“John……”

“She didn’t want relations. I shouldn’t have talked her into it.”

“Come here.” Alex slid further into the bed and laid down. Tugging gently on his hand, she pulled him close. His body was warm against her own. “Look at me John Thornton.  I swear to you as a doctor, your wife, and your friend. You did nothing wrong. Whatever happened, simply happened. Women give birth every single day. Some are difficult births, yes. Some are also easy. We don’t get to pick out which we receive. We cannot decide if we are going to have a boy or a girl. I swear to you on my own life John Thornton. You were not at fault.”

He studied her for a few moments. He hadn’t really considered her a friend. Brow furrowing slightly, he realized it was true. Not only his friend, but his closest friend. That made the ache more profound.

“I am afraid.”

“What are you afraid of?” Alex stroked her fingers through his black hair.

“That I will lose you too. I cannot lose you. I would give my life to save yours.”

“No need. You cannot get rid of me that easily.” She smiled.

“I would never wish to.” John ran his hand down the flat plane of his wife’s belly. “It’s hard to believe you are with child.”

“Give it a little time, I will be as big as Marlborough Mills!”

“I hardly think so.”

His touch was gentle. John moved his hands across and over most of Alexandria’s body. It was like he was trying to imprint every inch of her into his memory. The cold chill in his heart was still there. The fear of losing her was profound. 

Their lips met with a kiss of need. Pushing Alexandria back to the sheets, John covered her with his body. Lifting her hips, she wrapped long legs around his waist. Arms went around his neck, her body clinging to his. Sliding into her, John groaned softly.

“Look at me John. Look at me.”

Opening his eyes, he met her gaze.

“Do you feel it? Do you feel how much I want you? Feel how wet I am, for you alone.” Hips arched upwards while she ground against his pelvis. Hot wetness clenched his cock. “I love you. I love having you inside of me John. I love the feeling of your body on mine, under mine. I just want you as close as you can be to me. I will never stop wanting that my husband. I love you, all of you.”

He kept his eyes trained on hers. Reaching under, he grasped her rounded bottom, squeezing tight. Now holding her down, John began to thrust harder. She tightened around him, nearly pushing him out. It just made him thrust even harder.  When Alex tossed her head back and whimpered, oh how John smiled. He know that he was what gave her such pleasure.

It was almost too much, but there was no way she would ever complain at how he felt. To Alexandria this was the purest of all pleasures.

“Yessssssss. My love, oh my love, you feel wonderful.” With a tilt of her head, Alex captured John in another kiss. Biting, nipping at his lips, she was hungry for him.

Breaking the kiss, John suckled upon her taut nipples. Long nails scratched down his back. All it did was make him groan with desire. Heels dug into his backside, urging him further. Pulling away, John Thornton looked to his wife. Her eyes were wild with lust, and he knew that he was all for him. Pulling her closer her bottom nearly resting at the tops of his thighs. Slick as he was with her wetness, John slowly slid into the tight star of her bottom. Alex lifted off the bed, shoulders pressed heavily into the sheets.

Grabbing her legs, he pulled her closer. It permitted him further entrance to a place he felt sinful just a short while ago. Softly, Alexandria cried out his name and the love she held for him. He slowly began to thrust harder into her while rough fingers teased against her pearl. It took no time at all before her body convulsed with the ultimate pleasure. He didn’t stop then, teasing her more and thrusting even harder, Alexandria hit a higher note, her body started to shake and hands curled into the sheets so hard that if she had been more aware, she would have fretted tearing them.

Finally, John found his own pleasures in his wife’s body. Buried fully within her, he came and came hard. It was if there was an animal in the room with them. The great growling calls of his orgasm were like music to Alex’s ears.

Pulling out suddenly, he dropped heavily between Alex’s thighs. He wasn’t done yet. Still teasing her, his fingers moved fast while his tongue darted in and out. His reward was a rush of wetness when she came again and again. It was only when she whimpered and stilled did he stop. Spent fully, Alex laid back and just smiled with satisfaction.

Pulling himself up next to her, John took Alexandria into his arms and held tight to her. Their kiss was one of tenderness and mutual love. In no time, they were both asleep.

Alexandria woke a couple of hours later. She slipped away from the warm bedroom to place stockings on the fireplace mantle for John, Johnny, and Hannah. She had one for herself, but it wasn’t filled like the others were. She wasn’t sure if this was a tradition or not, but it was with her family in her own time. So now it would become a tradition with her new family. Quietly she went back to bed. Climbing back in, she woke John.

“Something wrong?” His voice heavy with sleep.

“Not at all.”

Grunting, John pulled her back to him. Comfortable, they both found sleep quite easily.

Christmas morning was the only morning that it was acceptable in the Thornton household to be seen in night clothes and a dressing gown. After presents were unwrapped and stockings unpacked, the family went to dress for the morning meal. Since it took Alex longer to get ready, when John was finished he went to help his son. They broke their fast happily. Hannah told stories of a boyhood John. Alex told stories of her life growing up with minimal editing on her behalf.

The rest of the morning was taken up with a trip to the church for Christmas mass. Johnny sat next to Alex, like he always did. Her hand was held discreetly by John.

During the sermon, Alexandria mused on her life. She had never been as happy as she was right now. Grateful for the life she had currently, it worried her some. What happens if this all abruptly ends? The fear of losing this life was an icicle stabbing her heart. As much as she wanted to return to her life before, she didn’t want to leave this one now.

The heavy wet snow began again shortly after Church, so the Thornton family went back home to the warmth of the sitting room. Alexandria had gotten Johnny a game set. He would be able to learn checkers, chess, and backgammon on it. John had thought it was a little too old for Johnny, but Alex insisted. 

Sitting on the floor with Johnny, she used John’s legs as a backrest. Alex knew that Hannah didn’t exactly approve of her being on the floor as such, but Alex viewed it as important to be on the same level as Johnny. Every so often John would reach down and stroke the back of Alex’s neck. He was reading a new book that was a gift and Hannah was sorting through the new sewing basket happily.

“Johnny? We have some news for you, son.” John said with a smile.

Johnny looked to Alex and then to his father. Hannah stopped what she was doing and looked to her grandson.

“Your mother is pregnant.” John looked down to his wife with a happy smile. “You will have a new baby brother or sister come August.”

“That is lovely news John.” Hannah smiled, since she already knew. If she said something to Alexandria, it went unheard.

Johnny looked as if the world was ending. He looked away so he wouldn’t start to cry. Of course Alexandria noticed it immediately.

“Johnny, my son, what is wrong?” Alex sat next to him.

“I don’t want you to go away Mama!”

Bewildered, she questioned him. “I’m not going anywhere. Where do you think I would go?”

“To heaven! That’s what happens when someone is born, they take the mama.”

“No my son, that is not true.”

“It is!”

“I promise you it isn’t. Have I ever lied to you before?” She started to rub his back.

“No Mama.”

“Then trust me. I will be right here with Grandmother, Father, you, and your new brother or sister.”

“Are you going to love my new brother or sister more than me since they came from your belly?”

“No Johnny. You are always going to be our first born. You will always be my first born son.”

Standing up, Johnny wrapped his arms around Alex’s shoulders. He hugged his stepmother tight. “I love you Mama.”

“I love you too my Sweet Johnny Boy.” She hugged him tight as well.

John and Hannah watched Alexandria with Johnny. It was easy to see that she loved the boy and he loved her in return. John smiled softly and looked to his mother. Unspoken words were shared between them. Johnny being replaced with the children of his father and stepmother would never happen with Alexandria. Heart and soul, Johnny was her son. She would dare anyone to say otherwise.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

Time passed quickly for the Thornton family. The month of May was beautiful. The spring flowers were at their peak. Fragrant and alive, the smoky town of Milton was bursting with color. Alexandria was due in a little over three months. She had to slow things at the clinic some because of it. Still, she was healthy and energetic as ever. She and John celebrated their first anniversary and in this time and Johnny Thornton turned six.

For Johnny’s birthday, Alexandria put a lot of effort into a present for her son. There was a small plot of land behind the grand mill house. Truly, it was smaller than the bedchambers that John and Alex shared. The old tree back there had been trimmed down and on one of the heavy branches a swing was put up. A sandbox was made along with a cover to keep the animals out. There was a small table and bench seating so that Johnny could do his lessons outside or Hannah and Alexandria could sit and watch the growing boy.

The privacy fence that she commissioned went unnoticed by John until the day she took the family outside. John wasn’t pleased that she did such a thing without his knowledge, alas. He rarely went out there because of it.

It was a slow day at the clinic. Alexandria decided to leave for lunch, as Annabelle was there to tend to anything small. Anything more, Alex was nearby. She was surprised to find Hannah dining alone.

“Where’s John, Mother?”

“I suppose at the mill. He has been rather busy these last few days.”

Alexandria nodded. “I will bring him something and leave it. That way he could eat at his leisure.”

Hannah Thornton nodded and smiled. She was proud that her daughter-in-law was aware of John’s busy schedule. The women chatted while Alexandria ate. The cook packed a small basket so John could dine as well.

“How are you feeling Alexandria?”

“A little more tired than normal but otherwise I’m fine.”

“You look sad.”

“No. I’m not sad. The ups and downs can be somewhat jarring.”  It was the first time she mentioned anything to Hannah about her and John’s marriage.

Her brow creased and Hannah Thornton reached over to squeeze her daughter-in-law’s hand. “He loves you.”

“Of that I have no doubt Mother Thornton.” Alexandria knew that John loved her, but she also knew that he didn’t like her very much.

Walking to the mill, most of the hands acknowledged the Master’s wife. They were, as always, happy to see her. Even more so now, the Master was in a foul mood. She would even him out. Walking up to the office, she checked with the clerk to see if it was okay to go in to the office.

“Enter at yer own risk Doc. Master is in a foul mood today.”

“Hopefully a bite of food will change that.” Alex smiled.

She rapped on the door. Frowning when John answered with a terse “What!?!”

“What is wrong John?” She asked after opening and closing the door behind her.

Startled, John looked up at the sound of her voice. It was rare that she came to the mill without being invited. “What are you doing here?”

Placing the small basket down on his desk, she walked behind him. Her hands touching shoulders and neck, she began to massage the tense muscles. “I thought you might need something to help your surly ways Mr. Thornton.”

“Am I being that awful?”

“From what I have heard, yes.”

He grunted as a response.

“What’s wrong John?”

“I am trying to write up a system to make things easier for ordering and maintaining stock and records while I am at home with you after our child is born.”

“John.” Alex laughed softly. “You can come back to the mill to do these things yourself if you wish. I do not need around the clock care. I am having a baby, not heart surgery.”

“They can do surgery on someone’s heart?”

“Uh. Not with any good results.” Almost screwed the pooch there girlie, Alex thought.

“It doesn’t matter. I am staying home with you.” He left no room for argument.

“Perhaps, I can help you?”

“Do you know anything about ordering cotton?” He teased. The tension in his voice was easing at least.

“No, but I do know how to write up systems.”

Rising from his chair, he made Alexandria sit down. Explaining to her what he was needing to do, she started taking notes. Pausing every so often to concentrate, she made it into a simple flow chart. From there she designed a system of checks and balances for both ordering and maintaining the mill stock. He would have to plug in the math, because she didn’t know what he was using. Within a half an hour, they had everything figured out.

“I best be going back to my own work.” She rose from the chair. Kissing John’s lips softly, she touched his cheek with her fingertips.

“I may hold you hostage. You make my work much more entertaining.” He pulled her close to him.

“Ahhh but if it is you holding me hostage, who would bother to pay the ransom?”

“It makes it a win-win situation for me. I get to keep you and not spend a cent.”

“Are all mill masters so adorable?” Alex looked amused.

“You have met the ones here. I am sure you can answer that yourself.”

“And in my estimation you are completely one of a kind my husband.” Kissing his lips one more time, she headed back out.

The windows were opened that evening to let in the warm breeze. Alexandria, John, and Hannah were seated and discussing the masters’ dinner. Alexandria and Hannah were of the mind to go ahead and have the dinner early.  John disagreed. He thought it was pushing too close to Alexandria being due.

“John, if we have the dinner on the date your mother picked I won’t be due for over two months.”

“Your wife in correct John. There is nothing improper about it.”

“I do not care if it is proper or not. Alexandria is going to be needing to rest, not hosting a blasted dinner! It is too close to her confinement time. I won’t allow it.”

Catching his hand, Alex gave it a squeeze. “My dear husband, I know you are concerned. I am in perfect health and as strong as you.” She laughed softly when his brow rose upwards with her declaration of strength.

“Alexandria, please do not argue with me on this.”

“You of all people know I will go positively mental if you don’t allow me to do things. It’s not as if I am doing the work all myself. Your mother and the servants are here. As a matter of fact, I suspect your mother will be in charge seeing how I have never hosted the masters dinner before.”

John scowled at his wife and mother. Both were nonplussed by the look he gave them, as usual.

“Very well. If you both would excuse me.” John stood up abruptly and walked away.

Alexandria watched him leave and didn’t get up to follow. John Thornton had a temper, this she knew. She did not pander to that temper either. He would settle down shortly, as he always did. Rubbing a tired hand across her face, she looked to Hannah with a sigh.

“As your due date gets closer, he is going to get worse Alexandria.”

“You read my mind Mother Thornton.”

“He is frightened. He has made himself believe he is going to lose you.”

“I know. I wish I could convince him that I will be fine.”

“He won’t believe it until you are.”

“I’m going to go check on him, if you would excuse me please.”

“Of course.’

Checking throughout the home, Alex was unable to find her husband. Frowning, that meant the mill or simply outside. The night was comfortable, so the day to day shawl was left hanging. It took silvery grey eyes just a heartbeat to adjust. Stealth was a gift Alexandria was born with and without a lantern to guide her, she approached John without being seen.

“Excuse me, Sir? Is this seat taken?”

John visibly jumped at the sound of her voice. He scowled at her. “You are alone?”

“Of course.”

“You shouldn’t be out here without an escort Alexandria.”

“I expected you to be my escort.”

“You have no idea what could have happened to you if someone found you out here alone.”

“I have a better idea than most.”

“Let me take you back to the house.”

“No.”

“No?”

“We need to talk John.”

“I am not in the mood to talk.”

“Then listen. Ever since the day we met, we spend most of our time at odds with each other. I know you still compare me to your late wife. Alas, we share very little in common, her and I. In the comparison, I do not fare well. I am perfectly fine with that. I want to be no one else but me. But it still is hurtful. I thought you cared about me, loved me even. I have been nothing but a subpar replacement all along.”

“Alexandria.”

“John, please stop and allow me to finish this.”

There was a certain sadness in her voice. “John Thornton, I am not Margaret. I never have been and never will be. She may have been the love of your life, but that doesn’t make me her. ” Alex sighed. “If you wish for me to be Margaret, then you have a huge disappointment coming. No. I retract that. It’s not a disappointment coming. You are already disappointed.”

As much as it pained her to say so, Alex spoke from the heart. “In the three years that I have been here, we have done nothing but fight the vast majority of the time. If you want me to leave Milton, so be it. I will return to the States. Please, never compare me to your lost wife. You seem to see her as frail. Do not project that upon me. Frail is one of the last things that I am.”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she spoke again. “I am saddened to realize that I have somehow disappointed you. Realize this, I am my own person. I cannot be controlled unless I wish to be controlled. I will not pander to the rules of society in that I am somehow less because of my sex. I am not the blind fool you seem to think I am John Thornton. I embarrass you and I always have. I was the one to bed but not wed.”

Alex watched John visibly jump at hearing those words.

“John, I have known all along what the other masters thought of me. They told me that to my face as did some of the wives. Oddly, the wives never made the connection that it was their husbands that wished to bed me. You yourself wanted me in your bed, but not in your life.” Looking up to the night sky, she shook her head. “I am truly sorrowful that you lost Margaret, John. Not just for you but for Johnny too.” Biting her lip, she continued. “I am sorry that I do not meet what you desire. Since, I do not. I will leave you with your thoughts.” Many times he tried to interrupt her, she didn’t allow it. Now, it didn’t matter.

Rising from her place beside him, Alexandria walked back to the Thornton home in silence. Sighing with relief, Hannah was nowhere to be seen.  She went to the newly redone nursery and climbed into the small bed there and tried to sleep.

Alexandria left before the first light of day to go to the clinic. She prayed for a quiet day. Exhaustion from the lack of sleep and being so far along in her pregnancy did not make it any easier. The whistle blew at the end of the work day, she didn’t bother to walk back up to the large house. Instead, Alex took advantage of the quiet of the clinic and decided a nap was in order. She never bothered going back to the large house, even a week later.

It had been quite a long time since she wished to return home, now she did once again. The pain was constant and one that Alexandria had never felt before. Never before had she felt the sort of love she had for John Thornton. It was more than just him, Johnny was in all ways except biological her son. Hannah Thornton had often been called the Dragon of Marlborough Mills and yet Alexandria loved her too. She felt completely foolish, if not outright stupid, to still love John. It wasn’t until recently that she realized John enjoyed her company at home and in the bed chambers. It was only in public that he was embarrassed by her. The twist of the knife upon the realization of this was painful. At least she told him she knew that. There was some solace there.

In the passing days she performed her duties as if nothing was wrong. There was plenty of food and clothing in the clinic, so that wasn’t an issue. If anyone realized she wasn’t walking the 100 feet, outside of John and Hannah, to the Thornton home, no one said a word.

Alexandria had already made the choice to leave. Milton was just too painful. She would be on the first evening train to London. She only carried one bag. The other stuff wasn’t important. She would leave the wedding ring behind. It was an heirloom that had been passed down on through the family. She hoped that it would be given to Johnny and that the woman he would marry someday would love it as Alexandria did at first.

Four letters were placed on her desk. One for John, one each for Hannah and Johnny, the final for the new physician that would come eventually.

Accompanied with a shattered heart, Alexandria Copeland Thornton was on the train for London, very much alone with her thoughts.

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

It was Hannah Thornton that went to check on Alexandria the next morning. There she found the empty clinic and the four letters. Not wanting to wait, she read her own and Johnny’s. Mrs. Hannah Thornton was a proud woman nor was she was an emotional sort. This even made her ache for what her daughter-in-law must be feeling. If John had ignored his wife, they may have been okay. Hannah knew how cruel he had been to her. The ring that had been passed down through the generations was there, left so that Johnny may have it someday. That spoke deeply to Hannah.

Her son was already at the mill, deciding to take the letter to him rather than wait, she tucked the ring, her own letter and Johnny’s into pockets. She was a familiar face in the mill and the grim set of her lips was also familiar. The workers didn’t greet her with the familiarity like they did Alexandria, Hannah preferred it that way.

The Master of Marlborough Mills was looking out across the workers with a scowl on his face and arms folded. His brow furrowed upon seeing his mother. This was too early for her rounds, but still nothing unusual. Hannah Thornton went to his office without a word. He, of course, followed.

“What is wrong Mother?”

“Your wife is gone John.” She slapped the still sealed envelope against his chest.

Frowning deeper, he read the letter. Bristling with anger, he tossed the letter into a nearby bin.

“Stubborn obstinate woman!”

“Stubborn obstinate man!”

John looked at his mother with surprise. She had never spoken a word against him in all his years.

Hannah took her son’s hand and dropped the ring on to his palm. “You still mooned over Margaret didn’t you? Wanting what was in death rather than what you had in life. Your LIVING wife loved you. Even I could see you were still mourning Margaret while you were married to Alexandria. Nothing she did was ever enough for you. You can be callous John, but I didn’t realize how deep it went.”

Fury burned in John’s eyes. “Is that what she told you?”

“Not at all John. Would you like me to read you the letter?”

_Dearest Mother Thornton,_

_First of all, I wish to thank you for being so kind to me during my stay in Milton. I am as proud to call you Mother as I am to call you a friend. I am not sure of how to say this or if it will even make sense. I must return to the States. Something has come up and I cannot explain it. I dare not even try. Please know that I love you, John, and Johnny with all of my heart and soul._

_This is no one’s fault but my own. I shall have the marriage annulled and the paperwork sent on to Milton. That way, if John ever wishes, he may remarry. I beg of you, please do not hate me for leaving like this. My heart is heavy as it is. Please get Johnny a nanny that will teach him, love him, and play with him. He will be a great man when he reaches adulthood. I have left money that will pay for the nanny until he is ready for school.  I have also left a bank account that will pay for his schooling, college, and monies for both you and John in case of an emergency._

_All of my love,_

_Alexandria Copeland Thornton._

“John, there is 75,000 pounds in that account. Did you know about that?” When he shook his head, she continued. “She left the banking paperwork for me to have. As much as I blamed Margaret Hale for hurting you, I blame you for hurting Alexandria.”  As Alex had pleaded with her not to give John the information, Hannah Thornton knew where she was staying for a few days in London and kept silent about it. “What did she say to you, son?”

He retrieved the letter from the bin and handed it to his mother.

_My John,_

_You are and will always be the love of my life. My one and only true love. I am so sorry that I didn’t have the strength or fortitude to stay in Milton. I told you once that your choice of my staying wasn’t up to you. I would stay if I wished. I had not known how prophetic those words would become. Now, I cannot stay. I failed you John Thornton. I can only ask for your forgiveness now. Perhaps one day you will be able to understand and grant me that._

_I wish I could explain so this would make more sense, but I need to return to my old life and sort things out. Understand, this fault falls entirely on my lap. I was once a foolish girl and now I am a foolish women. I should not ask for a favor. You have no reason to grant me such. Yet, I beg of you, please tell my son, my Johnny that Mama will never stop loving him._

_I left financial information with your mother. It should be enough to get Johnny a nanny, send him to school, and pay his college tuition. There should be plenty to put up in case of a rainy day for you and your mother as well.  I wish I could have been a better wife for you. I have never had regrets about my life until now. My one regret is failing you. That is my own failure, not yours._

_I love you,_

_Alexandria_

“Mother, would you leave me please?”

Hannah Thornton said nothing, turned and walked out of his office.

Telling the clerk that unless the mill was on fire, he did not want to be interrupted. He wasn’t even sure if he would have cared if the mill was on fire. John sat behind the desk with his head in his hands. Things had been off between him and his wife for a while. In his heart, John knew that it was because of him. It was time to peel back the layers of himself and find out where he went wrong.

He couldn’t blame Alexandria for leaving. Hell, they were 100 feet from each other most of the time and he couldn’t even walk over to check on her. In fact, he purposely ignored her when she tried to talk to him. The longer they were apart, the angrier he became that she wasn’t Margaret. Margaret would never had done that to him, John thought before. It was all a lie that he convinced himself to believe.  No, Alexandria was not Margaret that much was true. Yet, Margaret was no Alexandria either.

Margaret was a perfect wife. Yet, Alexandria was the perfect woman. She was passionate, beautiful, fierce, and had an intelligence like John had never seen before. She loved like he had never seen before either. This wasn’t a love from Fanny’s old silly novels. Nor was this a love of convenience because they were matched together. No, this was a love that was every inch of her heart, soul, and body. His happiness always came before her own.

He took that for granted.  He had taken her for granted.

Was it because Margaret was no longer here that he wished for what he could not have? Perhaps it was too soon to marry? Did he love Alexandria? Maybe it was lust? Was it because how she was with Johnny?

John knew that lust was involved. Dear lord in heaven, she was a loving wife. She gave to him freely her body. It was rare that they didn’t make love. He enjoyed her touches. He loved the way she would do virtually anything to please him in their bed. Yet, was that all he loved about her?

The last whistle blew and John Thornton was no closer to an answer than he was that morning. The mill slowly shut down as it always did. There he stayed. He didn’t bother to light a candle and he had no desire for food or drink.

What mattered now was the realization of how cold he had been to his wife. That was not what a man does. She spoke from the heart and he gave her his back. No, it was more than that. Giving her his back would have been a passive act. He forced her away from him. Somewhere in the back of his mind it clicked that he would never see their child and while the thought hurt, he felt that he deserved the pain it caused.

Perhaps it was better that she was gone and would have their marriage annulled.

Sighing, he stood from his chair and ran a hand over his face. It was too dark to see his pocket watch to know the time.  Walking back to his home, John realized how dark it was. There were no candles burning in the windows of his home. The mill almost looked abandoned. The clinic seemed to disappear into the shadows as if it had followed its mistress. The air was still and with the clouds no stars or moon could shine through. The world he always knew now seemed to have dropped into a void. In the warm night air, John Thornton felt a chill.

The back door was not barred and he barred it as he often did when coming home from working late. John stood there, wondering if he should not secure the door. Perhaps she would come home? John Thornton shook his head. No, she wasn’t coming home. He had climbed these stairs so many times, he needed not a candle to find his way. His mother was not there to greet him. He could count on one hand the number of times she didn’t meet him in the sitting room and that was usually because of Fanny being ill as a child.

Checking on his son, John found the boy sleeping. He had the bunny that Alexandria had made for him tight in his arms. John sighed. Johnny would miss her greatly. Margaret never was the boy’s mother. She merely gave birth to John Thornton II. Alexandria was the first mother he knew. She loved his boy as if he were her own. Johnny returned that love to her. Johnny ran to Alexandria first for everything. She was the first person he greeted in the early morning and the last person he said goodnight to in the evenings. Most of the time, Johnny was with Alexandria for at least half of the day.

 John realized something. She was devoted to his family more than he was. Alexandria loved them all deeply. The mill was John’s first love. John and his family were Alexandria’s. Hannah and Johnny returned that love and devotion to her but John did not.

It made John take pause. So many of the others in the same social class as the Thorntons, permitted maids, servants, even a nanny or two to raise their children. Children were to be seen and not heard, others felt. His son never knew that sort of loneliness with Alexandria. Even before John asked to court her, she was always happy to see the boy in the shops or on the streets. She had confessed once to John that she kept a small supply of sweets on her for Johnny.

The bed chambers were once again just his. Yet, the ghosts of Alexandria were everywhere. Her hairbrush was sitting on the vanity. John caught the subtle scent of her hand cream. A book, half read, resided on the table on Alex’s side of the bed. John sighed.

Looking down at his bedclothes, John frowned. Most of the time he slept naked with his wife. Oh how he loved her ardor and passion. There was no shame between them. He could touch her smooth fair skin for hours and she would beg him for more. She would initiate their love making often. When he did, she gave herself to him happily. There had always been such pleasure in waking limbs tangled with her own. There were so many times that she had returned late from the clinic to find him asleep. She would press close to him in the night, making sure he knew she was home with him. Oh the many mornings that John woke to find himself filled with lust. She would awaken just to satisfy him. The smile upon her lips told him that he satisfied her. John had thought it was just sex but it wasn’t. It was a mostly wordless way that she showed her love to him.

Thinking of the last night they spent together. In the middle of the night, he had woken up from a strange dream. Alexandria was sleeping soundly. Her back was to his chest. John had moved her gently, pulling her leg back over his thigh. Gently, he parted her sex with gentle strokes of fingertips. She still had not fully left slumber’s grasp. John slid into his wife with ease. Hot and wet, his thrusts started gently and slowly built. The rough pad of his thumb rubbed her pearl in time with his thrusts. Awake, she began to thrust back to him. Thinking about how good she felt, was starting to arouse him even now. It took mere minutes until she found pleasure with him and only minutes more until he found his own. They fell back asleep together, in the same position, still inside of his wife.

He had paid for women a few times as a young man to sate his carnal urges. The women were nothing but vessels. They felt nothing for him. He felt nothing for them either. Those ventures were never satisfying. He thought it would be different with Margaret. She performed her wifely duties, but rarely actually participated in their love making. John heard many times over from other men that it common for their wives to behave as such. Which was why so many of John’s peers kept a mistress as well. Women were taught virtue yet to obey their husbands. It wasn’t something they found thrilling it seemed. Women were taught that sex was painful, sinful, and dirty. They permitted but did not participate. To so many of the women, it seemed, sex was merely procreation and something they had to endure.

Alexandria was different. She took great joy in their lovemaking. Her pleasures came from and with his own. She was not shy in it either. She loved to tease him. She loved to tempt him and keep that temptation going for hours. How many times had he taken her in his office? The need for her was so great at times that it was not unusual for him to seek her company during business hours and then enjoy a longer time together into the night. In a cloud of doubt, he often wondered why she enjoyed what most women did not.

And to God above it was so true, he wished for something rough, she didn’t just give in. Instead, she relished the way his body connected to hers. John realized something. He never thought he made love to her, instead they made love together.

Their marriage had been delightfully happy in the beginning. What had changed? Was it him or was it her? The realization struck John so fiercely that he gasped in pain. One of the reasons he pushed Alexandria away because it was easier to be without now than feel the loss later.    

It happened slowly at first, thought John.  It wasn’t until she began to really show that he started to compare her so harshly to Margaret. Margaret was long buried. She would never be amongst the living again. In that aspect, Margaret was safe to hold the love filled memories within him. Whereas, Alexandria was living. She too could go to the grave as Margaret did. It was safer for him to have the distance. There was more to it than that, but what? Slowly, he began to pull back the layers to what had happened.

Sitting on the edge of what was once their bed, John tried to distance himself from the memories so that he may look at them more objectively. He had read both letters. Not once did she say anything against him. Alexandria took the blame for his failings. That hurt his ego far more than John Thornton was willing to admit.

Her gentleness and generosity once held John in awe. Actually, it still did.  She never cared if someone could pay for medical services. From rich to poor, they were all treated with the same warmth and care. The rich rarely came for help. They thought her clinic was beneath them. That is until an emergency came about, then they had no choice. Many of those people who spoke so poorly about her were only alive because of Alexandria.

He had assumed she was not well off. While she was well educated, she asked for so little in monetary gain from the people she helped. He just assumed she was in need. Looking back, John felt foolish. When she was working, she dressed simply. The engagements they were seen at, Alexandria dressed in clothing far more beautiful and expensive than the others. Granted, not many realized that because her tastes were simple compared to the other women.

Not once did she ever ask for money from him. His pride had kept him for asking if there was anything to bring into the marriage. After all, Margaret was what saved his mill. For her to have left all that money for him and their family? It was surprising.

Thinking back to when they hosted a merchant’s dinner and how he treated the woman that would become his wife, he felt ill. John would readily admit an attraction to Alexandria even back then. She was stunningly beautiful, well-spoken and there was something more. She had a fire in her that burned so very hot. Unlike other women, she could command a group. The group would listen. John smiled slightly when she would not permit the men to interrupt her when she was speaking about economics.  Something pricked a memory in him. It made John realize how he was loathe to admit how he treated her.

He had gotten it his head that she was far beneath his station. A lady did not work. He had no desire to introduce “the lady doctor” to others, she was no lady. As he and his mother were the only two people that knew her, the duty fell to him as a requirement. He was deeply embarrassed by Alexandria. The mill masters and a few other men talked about her. These men decided she was one to bed but not to wed. All of the men, except John, spoke of how they wanted to bed her. Some of them went into great detail even. All of them tried, except John.

Then Dr. Alexandria Copeland saved his son’s life.

Alas, the other men were right. _She was one to bed but not to wed._

His resentment for his wife started long before they were married and he just now realized it.

The Lady Doctor was what most everyone called Alex when she first arrived in Milton. The mill workers usually called her Doctor Alex or just Doc once they were used to the idea of a female physician. The shop owners referred to her as Dr. Copeland. That was because they liked her money, rather than out of respect. The upper classes didn’t refer to her at all, unless it was for gossip.

John thought back to the first few meetings with her. Alexandria looked nothing the likes of Milton had ever seen. Frowning, he realized how many times he masturbated to the image of her in his mind and wished it was more than an image. Yet, Alexandria’s was biggest downfall were things she could do absolutely nothing about. She was too much.

Who would have ever believed that would be the problem. John barked a short laugh just thinking about it. Alex was too tall, too beautiful, too intelligent, and too kind. The list went on and on.

That was the downfall of marrying her. The men lusted for a glimpse of her and the women wanted to gossip about her. Instead of taking the stance that he normally did of let them speak it made no never mind. Now after the one collapse of his business, he worried.

Laying back on his bed with feet still on the floor, his thoughts drifted. He impulsively asked to court her not once but twice. The first time he bedded her, John had no idea that what was already pleasurable could feel that incredible. He had never had a woman place her mouth upon him in such a way. It was dirty, wrong, but the most delicious of sensations.

The second time was even better when he was awakened by her in such a fashion. Not that he had that much experience with women, but her body was also unlike any others he had seen. Artwork, actual women, and books, none of it prepared him for her. While having the gentle curves of womanhood, she was also toned. Alex looked far from masculine, on the contrary it somehow made her look more feminine. The exception was perhaps her height.

Immediately, he was infatuated with her.

His mother actually enjoyed the company of the doctor. Hannah Thornton never fully approved of another woman as long as John could remember. This one, this embarrassing one, she liked.  Now that he thought about it, John could see why his mother approved of her. Alexandria and Hannah shared similar traits. They were both strong women. They cared deeply for the people in their lives and had little use for ignorance.

And Johnny? Oh Johnny loved Alexandria. That frightening day when he was in the clinic with his son. John shuddered just thinking about that. When Johnny woke up, John was sleeping. Alexandria made up a story and then made him a small toy. John remembered waking and finding her there. It was one of the most touching moments in his life. When she took his son’s hand exiting the carriage instead of John’s, Johnny was beside himself.

The looks that John saw from other members of his community were embarrassing. He wasn’t sure if it was because they thought he could do no better. Perhaps it was because they didn’t know her? She was not part of the Milton society. Who knew, he certainly didn’t. Still, he was infatuated and mortified.

John, so concerned about his place in life, began to worry more about what others thought than what he thought. The most painful part of all, this was also the time that he realized he loved her. When she reported late one night to him about an accident at the mills, he believed her. She paid for the patients to see Dr. Shanks out of her own pocket just so she could give him the best care possible. John rubbed his grizzled jaw thinking about that day. There was so much that he didn’t remember. He did know that he would have died if it wasn’t for her. Alexandria, quite literally, saved his life.

If only she would have behaved as a wife should have! Instead of being home she had to have the blasted clinic! It wasn’t like when Margaret would help the poor. Alexandria had a lofty position within Milton. Then another kernel of knowledge dropped on his lap.

John Thornton, Master of Marlborough Mills, was jealous.

If Alexandria had been a man, the position of a physician would have actually put her at a higher social level within the same circle. It was more than that too. Alexandria, was always lady outside of the bedroom. She dressed modestly, spoke intelligently, and was both proper and polite. There was no one that could find fault in her manners, not even John himself. Yet, he found fault with her simply because of the reaction of others. In the moment of realization, John Thornton knew he hated himself.

He had never cared about how others thought of him. Possibly because the other masters had admired him. When he almost lost the mill, his word had become less than it once was but he built it back up to a prestigious level. It had diminished once again he THOUGHT because of Alexandria.

That was never true.

He had never lost the respect of the others. Rather, he lost respect for himself.  Somewhere in all of this he also began to hate himself because of it. Of course men looked at Alexandria, she was an attractive woman. The women that gossiped about her, gossiped about every woman they knew in Milton. It was one of the reasons his mother did not socialize with them often.

Alexandria was too much of everything because John felt that he wasn’t enough. Almost laughing at the realization, he knew it to be true. John Thornton lashed out at the woman he loved because he felt that he was unworthy of her. The worst part was that he had no way to ask her to forgive him.

Swallowing, John ached for her hand in his hair and her beautiful smile. Once upon a time, John Thornton had been the most sought out bachelor in Milton. Yet none of the women interested him, until Margaret. She was so different than the girls in Milton. Even Margaret was expected to marry and be a lady of a large household. She was trained to do such.

 Alexandria was the complete opposite of that. Alexandria did not need him like most women needed a man. She did not have to marry to have social standing. She didn’t need to marry to have money. She had all of that. Alexandria married him because she wanted to. She married him because she truly loved him.

John finally realized that he had thrown all of that away.

 

 

 

 

 


	19. Chapter 19

Hannah Thornton had taken her grandson to Alexandria’s clinic several times while her daughter-in-law was staying there. When Johnny had asked to go see his Mama, Hannah was having a difficult time trying to tell him that she was gone. Hannah was unable to find the words and settled on telling the young lad they would go at a different time.

When John didn’t come down to breakfast, she assumed that he had already gone to the mill. It wasn’t unusual for him to do so. It was midmorning when John’s foreman came looking for John. Hannah sent the man on his way and went to find her son.

Still laying on the bed, feet on the floor, was John. He had not slept.

“John! Are you ill?” Hannah asked.

“No.”

“Why are you not at the mill?”

“I am a failure mother.

“You are not a failure John.”

“I failed my wife. I hurt her the way I have never hurt another person in all my years. I was cruel, thoughtless, and hateful.”

“Yes, you were.”

John rolled his head to the side to look at his mother. “I didn’t deserve her. She didn’t deserve my treatment of her.”

“It’s over now John. You need to pull yourself together. You have a business and a son that both need you.”

“I can’t face the mill.”

“John Thornton, you will face the mill and your workers. It was by your hand that did the damage. You do not get a day to feel sorry for yourself and lick your wounds. You need to talk to your son and tell him what has happened and then you need to talk to the hands and their families that will be looking for your wife.”

“You are correct.” John sighed and sat up.

Hannah didn’t say anything else to her son and walked away. She had errands to attend to, including a stop at the bank and the post office.

When his mother left, John laid back on the bed. Truly, he meant to get up but was just unable to do so yet. His thoughts settled back on Alexandria. He had wronged her horribly. The realization that she was well and truly gone was painful.

Yet, John understood that it was his fault. He could speak with her about anything, except his own feelings. Even the small things that happened at the mill, it might take a bit of understanding but she was able to catch on quickly. He had said to Higgins more than once that given a bit of training, Alexandria could probably run the mill better than he himself could.

Once again, Hannah Thornton thought that her son had returned to work. Having always listened to her in the past, there was no reason to think differently. Nightfall came and when he had not returned home after the mill long since finished for the day, she went to check on him. The mill was completely devoid of life and that included John. Exasperated, she returned home and without bothering to knock Hannah entered John’s bedroom. He was finally sleeping.

Hannah didn’t bother him, as much as she wished to.

The next morning Hannah went to check on her grandson and get him ready for his breakfast. They had just sat down to eat when there was someone at the door. One of the maids went down to answer it. Frowning, Hannah wasn’t exactly positive who it could be coming at the very early hour, but she did have an idea.

The visitor was no visitor at all, it was Alexandria. Bending to kiss her mother-in-law’s cheek, she spoke softly. “Telegram received Mother Thornton.”

Johnny’s face went from sullen to happy at the appearance of his stepmother. He raced over to her, burying his face in Alexandria’s skirts. “I missed you Mama.”

“I missed you too my boy.” Bending down Alexandria hugged her son tight. Tears formed in her eyes but did not fall. She had shed enough tears over John Thornton these last days and refused to let another drop.

“You look tired my dear. Would you like to join us for breakfast?” Hannah had not been certain that she would respond to the telegram.

“I am rather tired, but no thank you Mother. I would like to speak with John, if he is about?”

“He is in your bedchambers.” Hannah noticed that Alexandria flinched at the word ‘your’.

“Thank you.” Kissing the top of Johnny’s head she spoke to him. “You and I will see each other in a bit. Finish your breakfast first.”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Thank you Johnny.”

Nodding to Hannah, Alexandria went to the once shared bed chamber in search of John. Steeling herself, there was a decision about knocking and she decided not to. Pushing the door open, it was completely dark. The heavy curtains that kept out the light when she needed to rest were still closed. Frowning, it was far too late for him to be in bed. Closing the door, she let her eyes adjust to the darkness. John was laying on his bed, sleeping.

Shaking her head, she walked over and sat upon the edge of the bed. With a gentle touch, she pushed back the hair from his face. His sleep must have been restless for his hair was damp.

“Am I dreaming?” He asked hoarsely.

“No.

“You came back to me.”

“Also, no. I leave tomorrow for America. Your mother was able to reach me and I came.  I will take the train back to London today.”

“I see.” John frowned. “Are we still married?”

“Until you sign the paperwork, yes.”

“I will not sign it Alexandria.”

“That is your choice John. I released you from our marriage. Whether or not you decide to stay married is your choice.” She started to rise.

John took her hand gently. “Please, do not go. I wish to speak with you.”

Afraid this was what was going to happen, Alexandria sighed. “Permit me to light a candle or two then.”

John lit one next to the bed and she lit a few others around the room. He was sitting up and she did not approach. She took a seat in the chair at his desk. She was stunned by his appearance. John was always neatly attired. His eyes were bloodshot and had dark circles around them. His hair was a mess and instead of being shaven, he was grizzled. He had also been scratching at the scars on his face, leaving the taut flesh angry.

As he looked at Alexandria, John noticed that even from the long train ride that she was well dressed and attired as a woman of her station should be. It had been 10 days since he saw her last, perhaps 12, even though she had been right there at the clinic for most of it. Alexandria had lost weight, it was easy to see. Yet, the weight loss and the wariness in her eyes were the only outward appearances that something was wrong.

“I am sorry.” John spoke softly. “I am sorry for the hurt I caused you. I behaved horridly towards you. I am so sorry for what I did to you, to us.”

“Thank you John.” She tipped her head forward. “I best be going now. I want to see Johnny before I leave again.”

“Alex, please.”

Standing, a single eyebrow shot upwards. He had never called her Alex before. “Please what John?”

“Please don’t go.”

“I cannot stay. This is not the place for me.”

“I love you Alexandria Thornton.”

“I believed that at one time. I no longer do.” She turned towards the door.

John moved from the bed and towards her. His hand touched the door to the room gently. He would not force the issue, but he did not wish to see her go. “I won’t stop you. All I ask is for you to listen for a few minutes more.”

“Do you believe you deserve my attention?” When he said nothing, she continued. “This was all a lie. I owe you nothing. I paid my debt for leaving you. I was generous enough to return at your mother’s pleas. While I owe Johnny an explanation, I owe you absolutely nothing John Thornton. You are the one that broke my heart, not the other way around.”

“I know. I beg you please Alex. You are still my wife, continue to be so for a few more minutes and then I will sign the paperwork.”

“Very well.” She sighed.

“The first time I saw you, I spoke to you in a gruff manner. Even that first meeting, I was attracted to you. How could I not be? You are beautiful. I didn’t want to be. I was still mourning Margaret. I felt that I was being unfaithful to her. It was far worse the second time I saw you. You had settled in. I thought I was being magnanimous by ‘allowing’ you to stay. You put me in my place immediately.” John’s eyes closed briefly, remembering.

“It was my mother’s idea to invite you to the merchant’s dinner. I did not want you there. If it had been up to me, you would not have been invited. I am glad you were. You saved my son’s life.” He ran a hand through his unkempt hair. “Spending time with you in the clinic, I wanted more. I fell in love with you swiftly. The first time we made love, you taught me that a woman could enjoy relations. I had no idea. It always seemed to be something women endured but didn’t enjoy.

God, how I loved you. Yet, I am a foolish man. I saw the lust in the eyes of other men. The women gossiped about you. I was both jealous and embarrassed. Then I became angry. If you didn’t have the clinic and stayed home like a proper wife, I thought I wouldn’t have the feelings that I was. I didn’t understand until much later that the feelings were mine and mine alone. The men looked at you because you are a beautiful woman. The women gossiped, just as they did about every other woman they know. In my own fears, I treated you terribly. My sweet Alexandria. I betrayed you. When I should have held your hand, I gave you my back. There is nothing I regret more in this life than hurting you. I didn’t hurt just you. I hurt my entire family. They love you. I love you. And I chased you away.” He hung his head and stopped for a breath.

“I took your love for granted. I took you for granted.” He looked her in the eye. “There are no words that could explain how sorry I am to have done that to you. I did not act as a man acts. I didn’t even have the decency to act as a boy, no I was a simple ignorant fool. I pushed you away out of fear. I was terrified I would have to bury you. It seemed safer at the time to keep a distance than to love our time together.

At the Master’s dinner one of the men stated that you were one to bed but not to wed.” He swallowed hard, his chest hurting at the memory. “It rang true at first.” John saw the fury in Alex’s silvery eyes. “Please, let me explain further. You were so different than anyone I had ever known. You were too pretty, too intelligent, too kind, too everything. So it made me believe that ugly statement. It was actually that I felt unworthy of you. I was a mere merchant. I am a big, rough, uncouth tradesman. I am no different than the poorest of hands on the mill floor. But you surpassed everything I could imagine having in my life. You not only are a doctor but a female one. You had everything stacked against you my darling girl and still you persevered. How many men can say that let alone women? I spent a lot of time thinking that the other masters had lost respect for me because of you. It was actually was I lost respect for myself because of how I treated you. I thought it was you I hated but it was myself. You I loved completely.”

Drawing a deep breath, Alex nodded. “Thank you John.” She started to leave.

“Alexandria, don’t go. You are still my wife. You carry **_our_** child. I love you. Perhaps one day you will forgive what I have done. If not, so be it. I will understand. Stay for my mother and my son then. You have a home. You have the clinic. I will not ask you to share my bed. You will have your own set of rooms.”

“John? Why would I wish to stay and be reminded daily that my husband hated me?”

“Because you know that I also loved you.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“It can be.” With a careful approach, John kissed Alexandria softly. She did not react but she didn’t push him away either. “Stay my love. I beg you to stay with me. We can take things slow. I will court you properly this time. I have prayed every moment of every day that you and I will be together forever. Our souls entwined with each other throughout the ages.” He touched her cheek with reverence. “Permit me to be the husband you deserve. Let me show you what love truly is.”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Alex sighed softly. “I will be back shortly.”

“Where are you going?”

“I wish to see my son.”

John nodded. “Please return so that we may speak more.”

“I shall.”

Exiting what was once her bed chambers, she caught Hannah and Johnny on the way to his bedroom for his daily reading lesson with Hannah.

“May I take over for a bit please Mother?” Johnny took Alex’s hand immediately and looked up to the only woman he knew as his mother with a smile. Alexandria returned the smile.

“Of course.” Hannah replied.

Alexandria sat on the floor with him. With Johnny next to her, they worked on building his vocabulary. She could feel the fear pouring off of her son in the way the crude stuffed bunny was held tight by him.

“Mama? Will you be here for dinner?”

“I don’t know my darling boy.” She answered truthfully.

Johnny teared up. “Please Mama. I love you. Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.”

Alex bit down hard on her lip to keep the tears at bay. Within seconds, she tasted blood. “I cannot make that promise sweetheart. I will try.”

Johnny wrapped his arms around her neck and held close to his precious mama. “You cannot leave Mama. Please don’t go. Please. I have missed you so.”

“Go work on your penmanship for a little while Johnny. I swear I won’t leave without saying goodbye.” She rubbed his back gently.

“Yes ma’am.”

“Would you like for me to sing to you before you do your work?”

“Please Mama.”

Sweet little children’s tunes she sang to him. When he started on his penmanship, Alexandria kissed his forehead and then got up and left the room, closing the door behind her. She didn’t even make it to John’s bed chambers when she started to cry. She loved that little boy with all of her heart. The thought of hurting him was painful. Someone cutting her heart out would cause less pain she thought. Sliding down the wall, Alexandria knelt upon the floor. Great racking sobs choked her.

The sobs must have been loud enough for John to hear. He stepped out of his room and looked for the source.  He walked over to Alexandria and picked her up from the floor. Carrying her back to what was once their bedroom, John sat in a chair and just held her. He didn’t attempt to stop her tears. He didn’t ask any questions. He held her and let her get the pain out. It was only when the tears finally stopped and her breathing normalized once again, did he speak.

“Better?”

She nodded, not trusting her voice.

“Do you need to talk about what happened?”

“Our son begged me to stay.”

“Our?”

“He will always be my first born John. I may not have given birth to him but he is my son in all ways.”

“Does this mean you will stay?”

“Yes.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me. Thank our son.”

“Will you destroy the annulment?”

“Yes. It seems pointless now.”

“Lay down with me please Alexandria? I just wish to hold you.”

When she nodded, John Thornton carried her to their bed. He was gentle in setting her down upon the mattress. Sliding in next to her, he just held her close. His hand rested lightly on her swollen belly. Alexandria fell asleep within minutes. He felt the baby move against his hand. That prick of fear rose again but he pushed it away. There was no reason to fear. They were only promised the now. Once again, he prayed to God. Don’t ever take her away from me, please Lord. I love her. I would give my life for her and our children. Permit me to keep her with me forever dear Lord, I beg of you.

She, John, and Johnny met Hannah at the breakfast table. Hannah said nothing about the return of her daughter-in-law. She could tell that Alexandria was still a touch skittish when it came to John. She also guessed it was because of Johnny that she stayed. It didn’t matter the reason just that she did. Alexandria and John would repair their damaged relationship in due time.

John and Alexandria woke at their normal time the next morning. Neither had moved from their position from the night before. She cleaned up before he did and went to wake Johnny so that they all may break their fast together.

“Mama? Is it time to eat?”

“Yes it is.”

“Does this mean you are staying?” He looked worried.

“Yes it does.” She smiled gently.

“Thank you.” He hugged her tightly.

“John Thornton II, you are most welcome. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

Alexandria stayed in the Thornton home but she didn’t return to the bed chambers shared with John. Instead, she stayed in the nursery. It wasn’t as difficult as she thought it would be returning. The family resumed their lives as normal, mostly. John made sure to set aside time every evening to spend time with his family. He was desperate to reconnect with Alex so he set aside time for just the two of them as well.

Having excused herself shortly after dinner, Alex was in the process of getting ready for bed. The baby was being active and she was exhausted. John had been out to his normal meeting with the other masters when he came in, startling her.

A bit flushed, she looked sheepish. “I wasn’t expecting you so early John.”

“Are you feeling ill?”

“No. Not at all. Your child is quite active today and she has exhausted me.”

“She?”

“For some reason I believe we are going to have a little girl.”

“I think I would like that.” He smiled. Standing behind Alex, John took the brush from her hand and started working through her long hair.

“You don’t have to do that.” He had never brushed her hair before. “I can manage.”

“Yes, you can. But I wish to.”

“Who am I to argue then?”

Continuing to brush her hair, John looked thoughtful. “May I ask you some questions?”

“You just did, but of course.”

“Why do your patients fare better than Dr. Shanks? I would think it would be the opposite.”

“One would think that, wouldn’t they?” She smiled softly. “I am younger than Dr. Shanks and know more up to date information. My schooling was more recent than his. I offered to teach him, but I am sure you know how well that went over.”

“I can imagine.” John chuckled. “Although, his not wishing to learn seems foolish.”

“He is a proud man.” She shrugged.

“Alexandria, why didn’t you mention the funds you had to me?” He sounded hurt.

“You never asked.”

“Is that all?”

Turning, Alexandria took the brush from him and put it away. Covering his hand with her own, she gave it a squeeze. “Yes John. That is all. Since the day we married your name was on the books for the account. You just never looked. I’m sure if you delved into it, there would be a lot you don’t know about me.”

“Such as?”

“Ask and ye shall receive.”

“You are naughty.” He quipped.

Alexandria started to laugh. “You are just now figuring that out after nearly 3 years of knowing me?”

Smiling, John enjoyed hearing the sound of her laughter. The once robust sound was so rare these days. “No. I have known. I just didn’t appreciate it until recently.”

“How was your meeting with the other masters?”

“Much the same. I have noticed a difference since the death of Watson.”

Alexandria noticed the way John’s lip curled in disgust ever so slightly at saying the name. “Oh?”

“I need to apologize to you again.”

“Whatever for?”

“So much of the foulness that went through my head was brought on by Watson. I noticed it tonight. You were asked about, of course. No one speaks ill of you, Alexandria. Other than the first Masters dinner when you had just arrived here, it has always been just Watson.”

She said nothing for a few moments, thinking. “Do you think it is possible that Watson was jealous of you, hence his words were malicious?”

“Yes. And I fell for it like a fool. I’m so very sorry for what I have done to you Alexandria. Not just to you, but to us and our family as well.”

“Thank you John. There isn’t any need to apologize again. I have forgiven you.” She started to stand. Quickly, he came to her aid. With hands on her lower back, Alex stretched gently. Looking down, she crooked a grin. The material of her nightgown stretched rather taut across her belly. “It looks like I need to get larger gown. I told you I would be as big as the mill.”

Stepping behind her, John wrapped his arms around her waist. His hands stroked the swell of her pregnant belly. “I rather like you this way.”

“Oh so you like fat women.” She teased.

“Alex!” John shook his head. “You are not fat!”

“I am just teasing you. A couple of weeks after this babe is born, I shall start looking closer to my normal self. Well, almost.” She touched her larger bosom.

“I can assure you I have no issue with how you look in either place now or as you did before.”

“Thank you.”

“Please, take this for the intent it is meant. I miss you in our bed. I miss holding you as we sleep.”

“Thank you John.” Turning, she kissed his cheek warmly.

“May we sit tomorrow evening and talk?”

“Is something wrong?”

“No. I just wish to know my wife better.”

“Would you rather talk now?”

“Why Dr. Thornton, are you trying to get out of talking to me tomorrow?”

“You are silly.”

“Not the dour and scowling Master of Marlborough Mills!”

“No, the Master is not so silly but my husband is.”

“Don’t let the hands know my secret.” He smiled. “I have a proposition for you Dr. Thornton. If you would mind hearing me out.”

“Oh? Do tell.”

“Come, lay on our bed so that we may talk comfortably. I won’t touch you. I won’t ask for anything else. If you wish to retire to the nursery when we are finished, I won’t argue. If you wish to stay with me, well I certainly won’t argue that.”

Thinking about it, Alexandria had her concerns. She wished to ease back into their relationship. The thought was inviting. “Very well. You get ready for bed and I will wait there for you.”

“Thank you.”

Alexandria crawled on to their once shared bed. It was far more comfortable than the one in the nursery. Curling up under the blankets, she fell asleep swiftly.

John returned, dressed for bed, only a few minutes after he left her. Chuckling to himself, he saw that Alexandria was sleeping soundly. She truly was exhausted. He hoped that part of it was perhaps she was so comfortable being where she truly belonged.

Climbing into bed, he did as promised. John didn’t reach for her or touch her in any way. Yet, somewhere in the middle of the night, they wound up in the same position they always did. Alex lay with her back to his chest. John had his arm over her holding her to him, with their hands entwined.

When morning came, John jolted awake finding Alexandria there with him as such.

Feeling him stiffen behind her, she knew he was now awake. “Relax John. ‘Tis fine. We are apparently drawn together even in our dreams.”

“And what are you doing up so early?” He teased gently, he normally was awake a good hour before she was.

“Our child is like her father, early to rise. Can you feel her?”

His hand was already on her belly but now he paid attention. John’s eyes widened feeling the kicking child moving. “That’s our child.”

“Mm. Yes it is.” She looked to him, bemused.

“Alexandria. That’s _our_ child.”

“Oh! Yes, yes she is.”

He was about to say something when there was hurried knocking on the door. “John? John? Are you awake?” Hannah Thornton was worried.

Slipping his dressing gown on, he went to the door. Alex had started to do the same thing. “What’s wrong Mother?” He asked, opening the door.

“Mother Thornton? Is something wrong with Johnny?” Alex was ready to move quickly.

“No. No. Everything is fine.” Hannah’s cheeks reddened. She quickly left.

When John closed the door, he looked to his wife with confusion. He even looked more confused when he found Alex laughing silently.

“John? Do you know what just happened?”

“No, I do not!” Came his bewildered response.

“Your mother was worried. The bed in the nursery was not slept in, so the door was opened and I was nowhere to be found.”

John started laughing which only made Alex laugh harder. When they finally stopped, Alexandria had to sit down for a moment. “What?” She had caught him staring.

A brush of his lips against her’s John Thornton hugged his wife. “It is so good to hear you laugh again.”

“I’ve never stopped laughing.”

“You’re right. You didn’t. For a long while it was very stilted, as was your smile.”

“I didn’t realize that.”

“I did. Shall we get ready to go downstairs?”

“Might be a good idea so your mother doesn’t worry about us further.”

“You are the only woman my mother has ever liked. Did you know that?”

“That’s not true. You yourself told me that she wanted you to wed Ann Latimer ages ago.”

“It is true.” He insisted. “She thought Ann would be a suitable match. It doesn’t mean she liked her.”

“Oh.” Alex had no idea what to say.

After they ate, John went to the mill and Alexandria sat down to knit while Hannah began to rework John’s old christening gown.

“I hope we didn’t upset you this morning Mother Thornton.”

“I was concerned about you Alexandria, but I was not upset in the least.”

“Why concerned?”

“I thought you might have been needed at your clinic and something could have happened there. I was going to send John down to check on you.”

“I believe my days at the clinic are over. I’m too big to do most work. I don’t want to risk being near anything in the apothecary. I’m not sure that some of the items wouldn’t harm the baby.” She gave a wistful smile.

“Who has been making the medications for you then?”

“Annabelle and Sarah. Sarah has a mind for mathematics and cooking, which is what a lot of the making of the medicines truly is. Annabelle can do most anything short of surgery now. Anything more complicated has to go to Dr. Shanks. At least that would be a rare occurrence.”

“You don’t have much faith in him do you?”

“Dr. Shanks? No, I don’t. He isn’t willing to change any of his practices that are woefully outdated. Some of them also tend to do more harm than good.”

“I had no idea.” With a furrowed brow, Hannah changed the subject. “Have you picked out a name for the baby?”

“No, we haven’t. That is something that we still need to do.”

“May I ask a favor of you Alexandria?”

“Of course Mother.”

“Please give the child the middle name of Frances or Fanny.”

“We were already planning on that.” She smiled softly.

“Thank you.” She looked down for a moment. “Your relationship with my son has improved it seems.”

Alex laughed, knowing this would eventually come up. “Yes. It has. Even when I wish to throttle him senseless, I love him. It seems like I always have loved him.”

“I’m not excusing his behavior towards you Alexandria. I am glad that you returned when I sent word to you. After Margaret, John was so bitter. She changed him for both better and worse.”

“The loss of a spouse isn’t easy. My fiancée died before we wed. I believe it would be even worse to be married.”

“With children, it is horrible.”

“How did Margaret change him in better and worse ways? My apologies for asking, I shy away from talking to John about her.”

“She was the first woman he ever loved. She brought him so much sorrow and joy because of it. When she rejected him, he was so very hurt. Margaret gentled John in many ways. With her rejection and then death, she hardened him in ways as well.” Hannah was about to continue when she heard John coming up the stairs. “We can talk about this another day.”

“Talk about what another day Mother?” He kissed his wife’s cheek first and then his mother’s.

“Giving birth John. I am certain it is not talk for you.” Hannah said.

“What are you doing home so early John?”

“I can’t spend more time with my family?”

“You are going to be sick of me by the time this babe is finally born!”

“Not at all. Is Johnny still with his tutor?”

“Yes. He has about another two hours.” Alex was about to say something else when she winced. Her hand rested lightly at the top of her abdomen. The baby was active again.

“Is everything alright?” He had seen the wince.

“Yes. I just got kicked again. She is a strong one.”

“Just like her mother.” John stood up, offering a hand to his wife. “If you would excuse us Mother, I would like a few minutes alone with Alexandria.”

Hannah smiled. “Of course.”

“Shall we go to our sitting room?”

When they left the room, Alex changed her mind. “The bedroom instead John?”

“Are you certain you are alright?”

“Of course. My back is a bit sore. No need to worry.”

Removing his jacket and shoes, John helped his wife on to the bed. “May I hold you?” His voice was soft, fearing rejection.

“Yes, I would enjoy feeling your arms around me very much.”

They laid together for long minutes, no words were spoken. They simply took solace in being together once again.

“Have you thought of a name?” Alex asked.

“Isn’t that the mother’s duty?” He teased her with a nudge.

“Yes, but this is our child.”

“I rather like the name Claire.”

“Claire.” Alex tried the name out. “Claire Evangeline Frances Thornton?”

“Perfect. A beautiful name for a beautiful girl.” He kissed Alex’s shoulder. “You should rest. I can see it in your eyes, you are tired already.”

“Will you stay with me until I fall asleep?”

“If God responds to my prayers, I will stay with you for many lifetimes. But yes, I will stay in bed with you until you fall asleep.”

She fell asleep easily and quickly. John stayed with his wife for a while, watching her slumber. He didn’t wish to move but knowing there was still work to do at the mill he had to leave her. When John returned to dine with his family, he found Alexandria and Johnny playing chess. Johnny was still learning but his game was improving.

After supper, they played another game. Soon, it was time for Johnny to sleep and for the family nightly prayers. John watched his small family carefully. He noticed that all four of them seemed quite content. It stirred something that he had never felt before. To be frank, John wasn’t sure he could put a name to the feeling. Yet, for the first time since he was a lad he felt the commitment and love for his family.

Alex was preparing for bed when he walked into her dressing room. “Alexandria?”

“Yes?”

“Will you share our bed once again tonight?”

She smiled and nodded. “Yes. If that is what you would like.”

“What would you like?”

“To share a bed with my husband of course.”

“Temptress.” He laughed.

“You wouldn’t have me any other way.”

“You are correct.” He helped her rise from the chair.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

It had been exactly a month since Alexandria had returned to the Thornton home in Milton. They had made love slow and gently for the first time the night before. It wouldn’t be long before that would come to an end. Alexandria was due in approximately 4 weeks.

She rarely thought about her life in the 21st century. This was home, hearth and heart. John was working less in the mill. He had left much of the daily running to Williams and Higgins. His fear of losing Alexandria was still great. He wished to spend as much time with his wife and son as he possibly could.

One afternoon, Alexandria and Hannah Thornton sat sewing in the dining room. They had material spread all over the table. Johnny was with tutor and John was doing paperwork at the mill. It was a comfortable afternoon.

Because she was so far along, Alexandria only went to the clinic when it was needed. Her assistant was there to provide aid for the more general of maladies.

Wincing as the baby provided a nice kick, she rubbed her belly. “Mother Thornton was John this active before he was born?”

Hannah laughed softly. “Yes he was. I often thought he was going to burst out on his own.”

Giving a poke to where the latest of kicks were, Alex smiled. “See here young babe, this is your father’s fault then.”

“What is my fault?” John came into the dining room.

“Your child is kicking hard.” His wife smiled.

Placing his hands on the top of Alexandria’s swollen belly. “See here. Be polite to your Mama!”  He placed a kiss on her cheek before sitting down next to her. 

Looking over the rims of her glasses, Hannah smiled to her son. “The mill is running well John?”

“Yes, Mother. Everything is good. Williams and Higgins are doing an excellent job.”

“When should we expect Dixon again?” The former lady’s maid to both Mrs. Hale and Margaret came once a year to put flowers upon their graves.

“It will be a few more weeks, my love.”

Rising from the chair, Alexandria put a hand to the small of her back. It was hurting her. “If you both shall excuse me, I believe I shall take a short nap.”

“I believe I shall join you then.”

Alexandria looked to her husband and chuckled. “I am surprised you know what a nap is John Thornton!”

“I had one or two as a child.” He tried to hide a smile.

He escorted her off to their chambers. Hannah sighed with relief. John had changed greatly since Alexandria’s return. She was proud that he was able to do so and it didn’t sound forced. She loved her son dearly and was happy that he made amends with his wife. Alexandria was good for him.  In a way that Margaret never had the backbone to be.

In their bed chambers, John helped Alexandria to undress. She had stopped wearing a corset as soon as she knew she was pregnant, so it was much easier.

“Are you really going to take a nap with me John?”

“Of course. It’s not often that I get such a chance. I might as well do it while I am able.” He looked to her with a smile.

John gently pulled his wife close to him. Resting his hand upon her belly, he was gentle. It took Alex no time at all to drift to sleep. He laid there for a long while just watching her. He thanked god that he was given a second chance. Once more he prayed that she would stay with him always. The fear in his gut was rarely spoken of, but there it sat.

Slowly Alexandria woke up. Stretching, she nuzzled against John’s chest. Her eyes opened to find him staring down at her.

“Did you sleep at all?”

“I found watching you far more restful.” He kissed her lips gently.  “I love you Alex.”

“I love you as well John.”

On her back, she drew her arms under her. “I feel like a turtle that has landed on its back.”

“You are far lovelier than a turtle.” John tickled the top of her belly, making her giggle. “Do you need help?”

Alexandria mock scowled at John and started to giggle once more. “Yes, please.”

Helping her sit up, he sat behind her. Having Alex lean most of her weight back against him, John kissed the curve of her ear.

“I’m worried Alexandria.”

“About the birth?”

“Yes.”

Taking his left hand, Alex placed it on her belly with her hand over his. “This is our child John. Ours. As odd as our relationship may have started, this baby is a gift to us from God. I am strong and healthy my husband. There is no need to worry. I know that won’t stop you from worrying.” She smiled. “Look at our hands John. We wear our wedding rings. We will be bonded together through everything. Trust in that.”

“I trust in you Alex.”

“I trust in you John.”

“As much as I would love to stay here in bed all day, Mother most likely expects us for tea.”

After dinner, Hannah was working on a few last things for the baby. John and Alexandria had been reading but went to play with Johnny before his bedtime. All three of them were seated on the floor playing Go Fish. Hannah heard the laughter from the playroom, she couldn’t help but smile. It had taken a while, but John was happy and so was his family.  

It was just perhaps two more weeks when the unexpected happened. Alexandria was sitting down tutoring Johnny in mathematics, when a burning pain hit her. 

“Sweetheart, will you please ask your grandmother to send for your father and then come back here with you?”

“Is something wrong Mama?”

“My boy everything is fine. So would you please?”

“Yes ma’am.”

Johnny returned with his grandmother, only to sit back down next to his mother.

“Is it time?”

“Yes Mother, I believe so.”

“I sent one of the maids to go get John and another to get the midwife. Let’s start getting you ready.”

“Johnny, I need to go into the other room for a while. Your new baby brother or sister is going to be here soon.” Alexandria smiled.

“Yes Mama. Will you be okay?” The little boy was worried.

“Of course!” Standing, she kissed the top of her son’s head. “I will see you very soon.”

Standing, Hannah led Alex to the newly redone nursery. A soft cry of surprise, suddenly her water broke.  Startled, Alex had no idea what to say after that. Right as they were going into the nursery room, John came running in.

Pale and breathing hard, his eyes were wide. “Alexandria!”

Smiling softly, she kissed his cheek. “Everything is okay John. My water just broke.”

“John, let me get your wife ready and then you can see her until the midwife arrives.”

Dressed only in a nightgown, Alexandria got comfortable on the bed. Hannah opened the door to allow John in, but she wouldn’t let him to get too close to his wife.

“Mother!”

“John, it is not seemly to allow a husband into the birthing room as it is.”

“Mother Thornton, it is fine. I am not fully in labor yet. Besides, in other places the husband stays with his wife.” And in other centuries Alex thought.

He moved to the side of the bed and picked up his wife’s hand. The fear in John’s eyes was easily noticed. “I’m afraid Alex.”

Rarely did he call her by her nickname and Alex smiled hearing it. Kissing his hand softly. “Everything is perfect my love. I am in excellent health. It may take a while seeing as it is my first time but everything will be fine.” She touched his face lovingly.

“I don’t want to leave you.”

“Then don’t. There is no reason for you to.” Alexandria dropped her voice into a whisper. “Your mother may try to strangle you if you stay.” She grinned at him.

John grinned back. “I believe you to be correct Dr. Thornton.”

“I usually am.” She sassed back at him.

“Isn’t it too early for you to be giving birth?”

Shaking her head, she smiled. “Due dates are a guessing game sweetheart, not to worry. And as often as we make love, it becomes even more of a guessing game.”

“Alexandria!!” John was mortified.

She started to laugh when a contraction hit, the laugh ended in a wince.

“Alex, are you alright?” The fear returned in John’s eyes.

“Yes. Fine as can be. Giving birth is somewhat painful.” She chuckled.

“My mother may be right. I am not sure I can watch you be in such pain.” John kissed his wife on the lips. “I love you.”

“I love….”

Alexandria was unable to finish the sentence. A sharp pain hit, but this wasn’t in the abdomen. It was in her chest. In less than a blink of an eye, everything went dark. The last thing she remembered was screaming for her husband.

“CLEAR!”

There was the pain again. She couldn’t fight it. Her body felt like lead.

“We have a pulse! Get her on the bus.”

Bus? There are no buses yet in Milton.  She didn’t recognize it was a slang term for an ambulance. All of a sudden Alexandria felt as if she were screaming but there was no sound. Then the blackness took over once again.

Beeps, sounds, smells. They were all familiar but not. Her head hurt something vicious as did her chest. Opening her eyes, the lights were blinding. Lights? Candles don’t make that much light. What is wrong with my face? My nose?

“Welcome back Alex.” Robert Copeland spoke softly to his daughter. His hand wrapped around hers.

“D-d-dad?”

“Yes precious?”

“No no no no no!!! I have to go home. I have to go home!!” Panic set in. Where was John? She needed to go back. Running her hand downward, her belly was flat as it always had been. Yanking off the oxygen mask, Alex started to pull out the IV and detach all of the equipment. “DAD LET ME GO!! I DON’T BELONG HERE!!!” Struggling, her father was holding her down. Alex fought, screaming. Within seconds, everything went dark again. She had been given a sedative.

Hours later, Alex woke again. This time she cautiously opened her eyes. Again panic set in, this time she controlled it. Why was she here? What was going on? Tears spilled. “Dad?” She rasped.

“I’m right here Alex. Let me get you some water.”

Taking a couple of sips, she looked around once more. “What happened?”

“What is the last thing you remember?”

“I don’t know.” She lied. The last thing was she was in labor.

“You were at our place. We were outside watching the storm come in. Lightening hit the tree and tossed a limb. You pushed me out of the way. But the way it hit you, you almost died.”

“How long ago?”

“Maybe 24 hours? I haven’t kept track.”

How did all of that happen in 24hours? Alexandria felt confused. Her chest hurt. “I want to go home. I need to go home.”

“Alex, your heart stopped. You can’t go home yet.”

“No. no. You don’t understand.” She coughed. “I need to. I have to. This isn’t the place for me.” It became too much. The pain was more for the life she wanted not the life she had. She would never see her husband and children again. How could a dream feel so real? Nothing made sense.  She willingly surrendered to the blackness.

This time she didn’t open her eyes. Nothing mattered anyway. The sense of despair wrapped tight around Alex. She wished that the branch would have killed her. To be given love and a family and have it taken away so quickly seemed cruel. Perhaps she could go back? It would take something drastic, but it was possible yes? What medications would be kept in the stores in the hospital room? Alexandria started to run down a list. Nothing seemed all too useful. Perhaps a scalpel?

The pain was catching back up as was the medication being given her. It was back to the darkness.

When she woke hours later, she felt the hot tears at the corner of her eyes. Helping herself sit up using the bed controls, Alexandria wept openly. All she wanted was to return to Milton. She missed John, Johnny, and Hannah. What would their child have been? A boy or a girl? Would John have been happy? Did she die or disappear in that world or was it just a dream?

“Hey there sleepy head.”

Confused, Alex turned her head towards the voice. “J-J-John?”

“What is it my love?”

“How can this be?”

“How can what be my beautiful wife?”

Looking down at her hand, there was the ring that John had given her in Milton. Alexandria was even more confused.

“I will let you two have some privacy John. I am going to find a decent cup of coffee.” Robert Copeland stood up and stretched before leaving.

He looked like John. Those beautiful blue grey eyes and aquiline nose. The way he smiled. The sound of his voice. It was all her John.  Only his hair and clothes were different, modern.

“I had a dream……”

“Oh? What was the dream?”

“We lived in Milton back in the 1860s.”

John chuckled softly. “That wasn’t a dream Dr. Thornton. That was a memory.”

“How? Wait. What? I don’t understand.”

“Remember when I told you that I had prayed continuously for God to keep us together forever?”

Alex nodded mutely.

“He answered that prayer. We have spent so many lifetimes together my beloved, never to be parted. I’m glad that you are starting to remember some of them. We have been granted the gift of undying love.”

“Johnny? And?”

“Johnny and Claire are at home with my mother. You have nothing whatsoever to fear.”

Alexandria started to weep yet again. Worry crossed John Thornton’s face, rising he sat on the edge of the bed. Holding his wife while she cried.

“Are you bothered by this realization Alexandria?”

“They are tears of joy John. I was so frightened I would never see you again. I love you.”

“I love you too. I will love you for forever and one day longer.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
